Recently my RM son was in hospital (AGAIN) with complications from unnecessary surgery he had in the MTC. This has been going on for about four years now and he hasn't had a pain free day since the surgery.

His Bishop'S wife came to visit ( he is the only member of our family still active, and he is just sporadically attending, mainly because of his wife). Any how,there he lies in bed, hooked up to a morphine drip and Compassionate Mrs Bishop asks him if he blames anyone for his medical problems. Yes he replies, the MTC doctors who wrongly diagnosed his problem and put him through unnecessary surgery.

There's your problem, Mrs Bishop responds, you just need to....wait for it guys..... pray, fast, study your scriptures and stop blaming the doctors and you will be ok. Also you will understand why God has given you this trial.

Can you imagine lecturing someone in obvious pain and suffering, attached to a morphine drip, on how their lack of faith is causing their suffering. I had left the hospital a couple of hours previously and had seen what a state he was in. Wish I'd hung around a bit longer so I could have told the bitch what I thought of her compassion and Christ-like love.

Fasting? He is 6'2" and since he has been ill his weight has sometimes been as low as 112 pounds. Go without food for 24 hours?

And you know what? I bet on Sunday she managed to brag about visiting the sick and afflicted and giving them counsel.

And you didn't kick that silly bitch out of the room? Shame on you.

Ron

Hi Ron, I guess I didn't make it clear that I had left the hospital a couple of hours before her visit. Otherwise I would have told her EXACTLY what I think of her advice. It wouldn't have been pretty.

I hope to run into her someday, but it is not likely unless I go to his ward.

I think you and my son have similiar stories to tell about your health and mission experiences. I read one of your posts recently which had striking similarities to my son's experiences.

I'm very sorry to hear about your son. From the tiny bit of information you've given, it sounds like he's got a long road to travel.

Therapy is great. I'd keep him away from members as much as humanly possible. I know that you can't always be there, and he needs to learn about sticking up for himself too. (Sounds like he's already starting too.) I would encourage this behavior to be honest. He should share his story and call stupid people out on their bullshit.

I would also be interested if you think that you have enough of a case for a potential lawsuit. If anyone could, this seems the most likely.

Good luck. E-mail me anytime. Your son can e-mail me anytime too. I'm still recovering from my experience, and your story makes me want to publish my story even more.

My son has looked into sueing the hospital that did the surgery, but too long had gone by since the initial op. He had served a two year mission, returned home and started the rounds of various consultants. The doctors are without any doubts that the surgery caused his current problems.

Also as we are in the UK it isn't that easy getting a lawyer prepared to pursue a case in the States.

The last he mentioned of any potential legal action was against the MTC itself - the Provo one not the one in the UK. Don't know how he feels about that currently, he is not feeling too good right now.

He had just about perfect health until this happened.

His wife did write a long angry letter to Monson about the mistreatment of missionaries, and my son's experience in particular. I told them it would be returned to their Bishop and sure enough...Bishop came calling.

So it is true, missionaries come back changed young men. We saw off a healthy happy young man from Heathrow. Two years later he returned with a completely screwed up digestive system, damaged eyesight because of a power-mad MP who didn't want 'his' missionaries to wear sunglasses - in the tropics. And he has been diagnosed with PTSD due to various incidents which happened on his mission and weren't dealt with correctly at the time.

Yeah, that was another piece of Bishop advice, give up the top quality counselling you are getting at a world class hospital, because it is damaging your testimony, and have LDS counselling. Son told him to forget that.

Long post, sometimes I forget how angry I am about all this. Thanks for reading my rant.

You might be angry about this forever. I might be angry about this forever too. It hurts me deeply that your son's story is so similar to mine.

I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone except for all of the leaders of the "church" past and present.

Email me anytime. Spew the most viscious shit you can possibly think of if you need to.

Thank you for sharing.

From what I can tell though I know they exist I've never met anyone who's a litrual church therapist here in the UK. I know they exist because my parants said they wanted to send me to one after the school one screwd up.

This is the type of woman I reserve the C word for. Bitch is not quite strong enough! (I didn't spell it out for fear I would be deleted) Do you best to restrict her from visiting him again.

Sadly, jon1 I have very little influence over who visits him. Still every C word person like that is helping him and his wife out of the church.

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2011 12:28PM by FreeRose.

Simply ask the nursing staff to post a notice on his door stating that all visitors must check in at the desk first. Give the staff a list of people who are permitted to visit.

Many of us understand that all behavior is human behavior.
Anything one human being can do, so can another.

Many of us are adult converts with decades of experiences that have nothing to do with Mormonism.

I happen to come from a long line of Christian ministers so I understand, very well, the power of the religious world view in the home and how it manifests. Mormonism is not much different, when it comes to human behaviors. I have seen the same human behavior from many different kinds of Christians, as well as Mormons.

Many of us live with and love Mormons -- some of our families happen to be Mormons. We know what it means to show unconditional love, no matter what their religious view might be.

Just because someone hates Mormons and/or hates anything to do with Mormonism doesn't mean I want that I would engage in that kind of emotional response.

Do you always say things this calloused and thoughtless or only every day you happen to wake up????

Speak for yourself, SQ#1. There are PLENTY of people here who are HOPPING MAD at "people who happen to be Mormons" because they are such brainless dolts that they pop-off with the same kind of heartless, cold, idiotic statements that YOU are famous for dropping on people who are hurting.

Here's a suggestion: re-read what you write, or copy-and-paste, and then hit the delete button and write something that isn't all about defending retarded Mormons and hate-filled Mormonism, because that isn't what RfM is for.

She only does this stuff to garner attention.

Her handful of cronies do the same.

Sad, pitiful life if you axe me!

Timothy

As I wrote in another post: her and her cronies are the RS presidency of RfM.

Some people are all those things at different times. All human emotions are normal and part of living.

I remember your experience with that very well, GT.

SusieQ#1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Many of us understand that all behavior is human
> behavior.
> Anything one human being can do, so can another.
>
> Many of us are adult converts with decades of
> experiences that have nothing to do with
> Mormonism.
>
> I happen to come from a long line of Christian
> ministers so I understand, very well, the power of
> the religious world view in the home and how it
> manifests. Mormonism is not much different, when
> it comes to human behaviors. I have seen the same
> human behavior from many different kinds of
> Christians, as well as Mormons.
>
> Many of us live with and love Mormons -- some of
> our families happen to be Mormons. We know what
> it means to show unconditional love, no matter
> what their religious view might be.
>
> Just because someone hates Mormons and/or hates
> anything to do with Mormonism doesn't mean I want
> that I would engage in that kind of emotional
> response.


Just curious, do you go to other Christian Boards to set them straight on how not-so-bad their church is too? Or are we just special?

How did you get called on your special mission to defend the LDS church as just-a-normal-human-interaction type thing, and therefore not so bad?

Sometimes we can tell that our behavior is extreeme and perhaps deviant when we notice that we are the only ones doing it.

Out of a board full of many diverse people, you are the only one who is constantly minimizing what other people experience, and constantly defending the LDS church as being not so bad Susie.

You are a one person crusade to make the board something that nobody else is feeling the need to turn it into. Perhaps it isn't the board for you?

The point is that all human beings can exhibit the same behavior because..well, gosh, they are, indeed: human beings! :-) It's universal.

The motivation and reasons may be different, but the behavior is the same.

There is a wide variety of human behavior from the most uplifting and inspiring to the most base and degrading.
Most of us fall in the middle rage as we don't engage in behavior that is extreme on either end.
Everyone gets frustrated, angry, upset, but we rarely engage in extreme behavior.
Everyone has emotional behavior that is motivated by love, and acceptance, and good manners, also.

Understanding that it's all human behavior goes a long way to disconnecting from the emotional bond/attachment, which allows us to stop taking things personally. That alone will aid us in finding a much more congenial, happy, joyful, peace of mind.
A mind filled with expressing hate and vitriol has no room for peace.

Well, I would say EuropeanView's son's MP was the extreme actor in this instance.

This also isn't just about behavior, but also about motive and rationalization on the part of the MP.

But more to the point, this young man will have his life altered by the health problems he sustained as a direct result of the MTC and his MP. Period.

In this specific instance, Mormons are absolutely and unequivocally responsible for this devastating outcome.

And ya know, we don't always like to talk about the macro of universal human behaviors here. That doesn't necessarily make anyone bitter or angry at all.

Seriously, Susie. Silence can be golden. You might want to give it a try. You clearly do not understand that you come across as dismissive and as minimizing the pain and suffering of others when you post this macro human behavior stuff.

Susie it appears you have a knack for trying to state the obvious at the wrong time and in the wrong place. Prehaps I should point out that this forum is for "Recovery From Mormonism". Just because an assinine behaviour is found throughout humanity does not make it ok and it does not exclude anyone from venting thier trials, frustrations, complaints or hurt feelings in connection to a subsect of humanity.

The stupid bitch of a BPs wife was a mormon not a catholic nun or an evangellical preachers wife, nor was she some random stranger from off the street or a member of the hospital staff. She was a tactless mormon bitch giving poor sanctimonious and un wanted advice to another mormon who has dealt with alot of suffering that stems directly from very bad decisions made by agents of the mormon church. Maybe if you focus on what is being said and what is thaking place in a particular forum you would get that.

So can you say Focus? Foooooocuuuussss



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2011 03:47PM by luckychucky.

I have a 14 year old son who doesn't want to go on a mission and I obviously don't want him to go. Stories like yours make me committed to FIGHT to keep him safe and keep him from ever going into experiences like this. I'm so sorry for what your son went through and is still going through but you are helping to rescue other peoples' boys by being willing to talk about what his situation and I thank you for that.

Well here's more ammunition CA Girl.

Within 6 months of going out to the mission area he got dengue fever (also known as 'break-bone fever' because the pain in your joints is as severe as a broken bone) A month or so later the MP forwarded me an email where my son is angry at being accused of being the laziest missionary in the mission because he can't get up in the morning. Dengue fever can cause exhaustion for several months after infection. I emailed the MP telling him my son was always an early riser and if he wasn't getting up in the morning it was because there was something wrong.

At the end of his mission son was bleeding badly from his behind every time he went to the loo. He went to a hospital and the doctor advised him to call his parents for advice, urgently. He thought it could be too serious to be dealt with in the mission field. Son called MP who said he would call us. A week went by and MP didn't call us so son did. My husband called the MP who a) diagnosed piles - he wasn't a doctor, hadn't set eyes on my son for weeks and was on another island hundreds of miles away.He thought his priesthood power could over rule a doctor, even from that distance.
b) put my son on the next available plane, not giving him time to say goodbye to the islanders he had lived among for over a year and also gave him a dishonourable discharge, because he had called us without permission.

Hope this helps keep your boy off a mission CA girl.

If it is helpful, and you or your son writes out his mission experience, can I have a copy of the story?

The similarities are killing me right now.

I am so sorry that this happened.

Are you at liberty to say?

You said: I bet on Sunday she managed to brag about visiting the sick and afflicted and giving them counsel.

*Syrupy Sunday Voice* "Hi Sister Thelma, I'd like to report on my compassionate service. This week I afflicted a young man and made is mother sick."

Definately raptorjesus. I got a lot out of reading about your experience and i told my son all about it too.

Motrix - yep spot on!

We have family members with life long illness from their missions in foreign countries . It is one of the reasons I'm very concerned about young people going on missions to foreign countries. I wouldn't recommend it, but I have no power to stop them.
My hope would be that you can get the best possible doctors who know what they are doing and handle his condition correctly and fix the mess that others made.
What a shame.

Stalking and harassing someone while they're lying helpless in a hospital bed is one of the lowest of low TBM actions. It never fails to disgust me when I hear stories like this. I have a 13 year old son and these are the kinds of stories to let him know about before he reaches that point. So sorry about your son's situation European View. My best wishes to him and you, and I hope karma bites the b*tch good and hard!

I am so sorry about this. I have a son too and can't imagine having to go through this.

HUGS