I really want to resign from TSCC. I stopped attending just over a year ago & I have wanted to resign since the 1st day I discovered its all a lie. DH left 2 months after me and he isn't sure if he would like to resign or not. He says that he thinks that he will someday. The soonest date he has ever given me is July 2013. It's not something that is important to him nor does he ever put any thought into it except when I bring it up. The thing is I told him that I don't care if he resigns with me or not. It's okay with me if just me & my 3 children resign and he can stay a member, but he doesn't want me to resign without him. This is something that is very important to me. I think of it as a gift to my children to not have to be associated with that stupid church anymore. I'm getting tired of waiting on him, especially when he can't give me a good reason. Has anyone else had a similar situation or have any advice to share?



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 02/15/2013 04:20PM by notanymore.

My wife is still very much a believer and attends church every week with our kids.

I resigned a little over a year ago with her consent, if not with her blessing. Personally, I would not have resigned without her consent.

Perhaps you could compromise? What if you agreed to wait until July to resign and at that point you will resign? At that point he can choose whether to resign or not.

------------------

Why does he want or not want to resign?

For me personally my desire to resign didn't come with realizing the church was false but with realizing I was disgusted with the church.

I don't know how open he is to looking at things with you and talking with you. But if he is open maybe you can share some of the ugly things of the church and it's history not just the things that make it false?

For me I remember distinctly what made me want to resign - it was reading the accounts on wivesofjosephsmith.org. Specifically these:
http://www.wivesofjosephsmith.org/05-ZinaHuntingtonJacobs.htm
http://www.wivesofjosephsmith.org/23-LucyWalker.htm
http://www.wivesofjosephsmith.org/26-HelenMarKimball.htm
http://www.wivesofjosephsmith.org/2021-EmilyandElizaPartridge.htm

Also these are worth looking at:
3 parts:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwUTVQ4mfNE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV-8BmFwGIc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeMKmnMfNUo

Utah stats:
http://www.mormonprobe.com/index.php?topic=By%20Their%20Fruits

If his issues is he doesn't 100% know he doesn't believe it these two are really go resources to review the problems:
http://www.bookofabraham.com/boamathie/BOA_TOC.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ac_fLUHiBw

I have a TBM wife that does not want me too. It is not that important to me.

But, maybe give him a little more time? July isnt that far away.

I'm in the process of resigning right now without my DH. He doesn't believe anymore, but wasn't ready for that step, which I respect. I also asked that my two children (blessed but never baptized) be taken off record (so the mishies and primary people wouldn't start sniffing around at the golden age of 8). I put the request for my kids in a second letter, and had my DH sign it so they wouldn't question if he agreed with taking them off church records. As long as your spouse is OK with you leaving, there's no reason you shouldn't if you feel you want too.

Just FYI - if your children have not been baptized there is nothing to do - removing them from the record is meaningless.

However, you should contact the ward clerk in your ward and request that they be removed from the ward list & rolls (this is different than being removed from the records of the church.)

There are lots of reasons I can think of why people would not resign. Family is the first one that pops to mind. Loads of people go inactive without resigning.

If you resign the church and your TBM family is going to tell you you don't have a family anymore, and that might hurt your feelings. When you no longer care what guilt trip they or your family sends you then you know you can resign.

I left before my wife. She left a couple of months later. Here is my 10 cents worth of advice. It's 10 cents rather than 2 cents because it is long.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,539151,539274#msg-539274

notanymore Wrote:
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> Has anyone else had a similar situation or have
> any advice to share?

Yup. Do it anyway.

I did and took my five kids with me.

;o)

Did you take your kids off the records without your spouse's signature? I tried to remove my kids - DH is even behind it! - but they won't without his signature. ?

Me. My husband and child are still members. I resigned in 2010 all by myself. It was the best thing I could have ever done. I learned that I matter. What I think matters. I'm an individual and it is my choice and I made it alone.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/15/2013 09:09PM by suckafoo.

My wife and I both resigned over the weekend. :) We sent in our email resignation letters together.

We know that the church isn't true. We also believe a lot of their practices and teachings are utterly evil, so why remain associated? Being inactive isn't good enough, we don't want any part of it. It's just more peace of mind than anything.

Keep in mind too that we only started questioning things about 8 months ago. So it's taken some time, but we are done done done with it all.

I told my husband I didn't believe the church to be true 11 months ago. He decided to research my issues so he could change my mind. Instead he stopped believing as well and we stopped attending church back in August.

I contemplate resigning sometimes but he said once that he didn't want to do it. It's possible he could change his mind, he's certainly done it before! ;) I think I would be more inclined to resign if he were as well.

At this point, no one in the ward is pestering us and we're still on the fence so it doesn't feel like it's time yet. I realize the church would still keep our records around either way so the only reason I think I'd push to do it would be if the ward started pursuing us or, especially, our children.

The times I most want to do it is when I'm particularly disgusted with some aspect of the church. Maybe I'll get disgusted enough even without the pestering.

Hi, notanymore,

do you know why your husband insists on you waiting with your resignation till he is ready to resign also? Is there any reason why he talked about resigning in July 2013 but not any more? What's happened/hasn't happened between then and now?

My dh was the first to discover the truth about TSCC but I was the first who wanted to resign. We did so as a family after a few weeks of discussing the pros and cons. It's tempting to say that I would have resigned anyway but I honestly don't know. DH and I have always been a team and it felt good to leave as a team.

Best wishes!

nomoremolly

I resigned without my husband's knowledge then told him afterward. I didn't want to be Mormon for one more minute. For me, I had to do it for my own mental well being.

I resigned, my wife is still a liberal TBM. I held off resigning at her request until she could handle it. It took her a year.

My almost 17yr. old DS will resign when he goes away for college.

Update...Hi everyone! We resigned a year ago! I told DH that I was tired of waiting on him to make up his mind and that I was emailing my & our children's resignation letter without him, which I did. He stayed up late that night thinking about it and decided to email his resignation as well. DH hesitated to resign because of what his parents would think. I really didn't want to influence his decision; it needed to come from him, but I wasn't going to keep being a member of that ridiculous cult because he was fearful of his mom & dad and couldn't make up his mind. But it worked out well in the end.

notanymore Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Update...
> DH hesitated to resign because of what his parents
> would think. I really didn't want to influence his
> decision; it needed to come from him, but I wasn't
> going to keep being a member of that ridiculous
> cult because he was fearful of his mom & dad and
> couldn't make up his mind. But it worked out well
> in the end.

Congratulation to you...and to everyone in your family!!!

:)