so being an engineer and armchair physicist, as I studied my way out of being a mormon I really wondered about those 'answers' to all my prayers over the years.

I decided to run an experiment, instead of praying to god, I prayed to the fridge for blessings and help. I made sure to be sincere and willing to do what the fridge needed me to do.

it didn't always answer every prayer, sometimes I had to find my car keys without its help. but when I really needed a cool drink it was there for me sure as day. I also testify that as long as I did the things requested of it (like fill the ice cube trays) I was sure to get the blessing of ice when needed.

all in all how did the fridge fair in comparison with god at rewarding me with blessings? well slightly better that god with total number of prayers positively answered.

not sure if that means anything though... because I do like to chew ice ;)

Your fridge God is inferior to mine with the nice water line, auto ice making abilities. I demand you abandon all belief in your false God immediately and come over to my place and pray to mine directly. Than we can share in the many blessings of cubes, and coke...or liquor, or whatever your communion preference may be.

ummmm I must confess such as PHD did, my story wasn't entirely true, I didn't actually fill the ice cube trays, but instead fixed the ice maker that had been broken. I felt the tray story was more faith promoting, and closer to how we need to interact and meet the fridges needs on a daily basis to get all the blessings it has to provide.

forgive me, but please understand promoting faith in the fridge is a far higher calling, so its ok and all.


right?

and to those of you whom I cooled their faith with my misdirection, I am sorry I am but a man, but that doesn't mean the fridge doesn't love you.

I'm sorry but since I have recently found some discrepancies in the history of your church vis a vis ^, I can no longer shelf all the concerns I have been harboring as of late. I must proclaim to the world your beliefs are cultish and simply not true. If perhaps you could just unearth one ice cube, that has been created BEFORE the use of modern technology... you know obvious size differences and striations different from those created with an inline ice maker, I may be able to satisfy the cog-dis issues I am currently suffering from. Perhaps even ancient scriptures(user manual) that show that the original model did contain such manual ice trays. Until than, I am branching off to the Fundamentalist Utopian Cooling Knowitall sect....or in short....

:P

I was almost hooked by the first post. I want so desperately to believe. But then I realized, this is a learned person, so of course it was made up. Learned persons make &($% up all the time. Now, if this post had been written by someone who only had a little schooling/education, then it would have obviously been true. And the clincher? No mention of having to cut the head off of the repair man in order to gain access to the repair manual. I know that is how the true fridge works. And what about bringing the fridge to the new world in a home made submarine? Now that I look at it, there is just too much that's wrong here.

fridges tend to give too much. They are very faithful servants.

a true god serves and is an example to men everywhere

My fridge is a lesser god since it leaks. Someday I will get god repaired. And hopefully down the road I will invest in a new and improved god. lol

People, lo HERE!

The only true & running fridge is: Amananowagod.

It is ok to worship your own fridge, I know this to be the case, just last night as I received a communion of cold pizza from mine it was revealed to me that the fridges came into this world from a far away place. I now know without a doubt that they get their coolness from a quantum link with the great fridge of Fobol.

So come unto your fridges, let them cool you with an icy gust on a warm summers day, let them feed you when you need meat. let them refresh you with their frosty drinks. As coolness emanates from only one place in the universe, if you want to be cool simple love your fridge.

Once you know your fridge is the source of coolness and you began to become 'cool' yourself. You will soon recognize the 'signs' of coolness in your life that testifies of the truth of these things. in winter it might come as goose pimples as you leave your home. the clink of ice cubes will make you thirst. Being cool is great way to live. Come unto the fridge open the door and experience it for yourself. amen

Oh, you MUST be a General Authority.

hehehe...

did you ever have to give it 10% ?

i admit, i have prayed to the porcelain toilet gawd a few times...


breedum

The fridge does require maintence from us believers, there is an irrevocable law decreed in heaven the even the fridge must obey. It can not pour out its blessings of coolness and ice lest we the believers maintain it. There are some laws even fridge gods cannot break lest they cease to be fridges.

Already you have seen one testimony of disbelief causeing the fridge to leak. What more proof do ye need?

You are right, sparkyguru. My testimony of refrigeration is weak, therefore causing fewer blessings.

I will partake regularly of the sacrament of cold beer and leftover pizza in repentance.

Doesn't your fridge dispense beer when you pray to it ?

I always knew heaven was in Antarctica. Hallelujah to the Lord of the Fridge!

I find myself pondering the great majesty of his coolness.
Just thinking about the glistening condensation rolling down the side of a tall cool one brings shivers to my spine.

The slight hum of him that preserves comforts my dreams at night.
And if you can't sleep he is there with lunch meats and crispy lettuce for your time of need.

Oh if only my fellow men could understand the wonders belief in refrigeration bring to me on a daily basis. Then they too could share in the majesty of ice.

Oh come ye come he repent of your canned goods and your dried fruit. Taste the freshness of cool.

I must say the goose bumps move me and my soul fills up, it must needs be that Book of Cool should come forth in this generation. The great cool one of Fobol, the fridge if all fridges will make it so.

And I prayed to a jug of milk:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jk6ILZAaAMI

I love this! I'm copying this one into a word document to share with people who decide to argue about God with me.

The Church of Coolness gets is first missionary ;)

Hello! My name is Elder Teste. And I would like to share with you the most amazing ice...

Yeah and it came to pass that because of my iniquities, insomuch as I did hunger and thirst after restaurant food and drink, and I did partake of the evil therein; for behold the lord of all refrigeration doth delight in the righteousness of cooking at home, and it came to pass that the refrigerator did cease to function and all the food didst spoil. And thus sayeth the refrigerator almighty, "Behold, you draw near to me with your heart but your lips are far from me."



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/26/2013 06:19PM by wine country girl.

lips far from me!!!!


awesome!

Heavenly dispenser of chilled beverages, Kenmore be thy name. Thou stoppest mould, keep produce cold, in summer as in spring. Give us some cheer, a daily beer. And give us some ice, as we need that for cocktails. Lead us not into starvation, but deliver us from hunger. For the freezer, the crisper and the deli drawer are yours. From now until warranty expiration. Ramen.

I think we have found missionary number 2 for the church of cool!

one more and we could call it a movement, we've grown 300% in the last few hours already :D



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/26/2013 07:49PM by sparkyguru.

Do not forget, members of the Church of the Fridge of Latter-Day Snackers, that to receive full blessings from your membership in this cool church, that you MUST commit to scrubbing the fridge at least one Saturday morning every month...


You know, the ever so popular Every Member a Janitor program...

I testify to you that caring for the fridge is a small price to pay for the wonderful blessings of fresh produce and tender aged meat and thou must not forget the ice, oh the beloved ice bringer of civilization and health to the entire planet. Check the research (on the church of cool website, don't go to those anti-cools they have nothing to offer) you will see that before the fridge the world dwindled in darkness, there was sickness all across the land. Ice had to be trucked for miles, you had to drink your beer..... WARM!!!!

now thanks to the almighty fridge we have better health, and open the door and it casteth LIGHT.

how can you not look it and marvel and wonder at the gifts it has given the world

and NEVER forget the ice!

I very much want my own fridge in my office, but since I don't have one, I have to imagine that one exists and learn the great metaphorical truths availabe from this fantasy. To borrow from SuzieQ#1's great wisdom, I call this a True Fridge Myth. And although no actual food comes of it, it is a spiritual feast.

I have a feeling that, in this new religion, fasting will be frowned upon. I can live with that.

I don't know if I should feel ashamed or proud, but I am a poly-fridgism follower. One fridge just could not fulfill all of my wants and desires. And now that I have two, I'm considering more. I don't know where it will end.