so when I tell a TBM that I no longer believe, they are 'sorry' for me. What they cannot comprehend is that this move makes me happier.

It's like you just told someone you got a raise (which you did, at least 10%) and they say I'm so sorry to hear that.

I am thinking we should say don't be sorry for me, I am much happier now, I got a 10% raise and sundays off just by realized I was being fooled! :D cue the big smile.

The words carry no kindness or compassion.

Just tell them that you feel sorry for them too. You don't have to explain why, but it puzzles them. They usually don't want to pursue what you meant.

Love this response!

The other response is that leaving the church will leave a hole in your life, that you will be empty. I see leaving the church as getting rid of unnecessary clutter, getting rid of a ball and chain or getting rid of excess baggage.

sorry for them, I like that. you are sorry for them in the same way they are are for you.

sometimes it is enlightening to ask them why they are sorry for you. Acutally in general so far when they give the wrote TBM response, 'I'm sorry' or 'I'm disappointed' it is good to ask why and provide counter examples.

"you don't believe? I'm so sorry"

hmm thoughtful, 'why is that'

"well you have lost so much."

'you know when I first uncovered the truth I was devastated, I mean I had put so much effort into the church it was difficult to reconcile that with the sham that I found it to be. But I moved on, thankful that I learned to think critically and for myself instead of just doing what others told me to. Now I feel liberation and joy far beyond what I did then. so please don't feel sorry for me I and my family are so much happier now'

"ummmm, ,,uhhh,, well"

'I'm sorry, did I confuse you?'

Yeah, I'm sorry that they're trapped in a little box and they don't even know it. I'm sorry that they're spending so much money, when they really can't afford it, on a fraud. It really is sad. So while they're busy feeling sorry for me, I'm feeling really sad for them.

A pet peeve of mine is when an Christian here's I've left Mormonism and become an atheist - they say "I'm sorry." Arg.

"Ha-ha-ha! You're sorry for ME?? Ha-ha! No need for that! I'm never been happier or felt more elated in my life!"

I've used this one when they say they are sorry for my loss of religion or feel sorry for me...

"That's like telling someone you are sorry they had a tumor removed. Think about that."

It's like saying they are sorry for me that I excised a disease that was taking over my mind and body.

Apologies and thanks to cancer survivors (one who suggested this analogy). Some are able to have the resource-sucking tumor completely removed.

Another analogy I like is that losing religion is like losing a giant parasite. Maybe for some people they benefit from the parasite but for me religion was like a giant tapeworm. Best to poop it out and quit feeding the worm!

parasite for us, symbiote for them?

You would say, and I am so sorry for you to have to stay in a cult. But how long do you have still to stay?