a bad friend
Date: November 07, 2012 01:39PM
I have a life-long TBM friend, who is controlling and abusive. She is also very wealthy (inherited), and a cheapskate. Her family is related to Thomas Monson, and they are arrogant about that. I have known her since birth (our TBM mothers were best friends in college), and she has been my friend off and on, depending on where we lived. We have always kept in touch with letters and Christmas and birthday cards. For the last 15 years, she has insisted on exchanging gifts with me. I won't go into detail, but she is the worst gift-receiver ever, and she criticizes every gift I give her. Her husband is abusive, and I'm afraid of him, and I have never wanted my kids to be around her kids (they have violent tempers, and guns), so I have tried to keep my distance.
Last year, I gave her a gift card to her favorite store, which had a good selection when I bought the card. She called me 6 months later, and she screamed and swore at me that there wasn't anything in the *#@!! store she wanted, and that the #@*!! store manager wouldn't give her cash for the card. She had called several of our TBM friends, trying to sell them the gift card I gave her, and complaining in great detail about her run-in with the store manager about the store's policies, bla-bla. I was having a busy morning, so to shut her up, I offered to buy the gift card from her, and mail a check to her in Draper. She went off again about sending cards in the mail, bla-bla. Finally, I told her I would drive to Draper after work, and give her the cash, and take the card off her hands, which I did.
This woman likes to display her gifts on a large table in her front hall, and brag about how many friends and admirers she has. I suspect that is why she insists on getting gifts. (She already has 10 of everything.) Her husband gives her only cash, and her children "neglect" her at Christmas. I have felt sorry for her, but at this point, I'm done. Trying to find a gift to please her is impossible, and ruins my fun at Christmas, so I want to take care of this now. I have tried taking her to lunch instead, but she insisted on the gifts anyway.
How can you get out of a gift-giving situation gracefully, without offending someone you feel sorry for?