If they think they can lure me back to the cult, they make sure I know they are helping me, because they are xstains, and good people.

If they hear rock music, and fear I will not return, then I am accused of taking advantage of them, and am a bad person.

I always said I do not believe in gawd or any deity, in TSCC, and will not return.

TBM's are experts at making people in need feel inferior, or at least trying to, and treat them like children.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/01/2011 08:58PM by atheist&happy:-).

They do talk down to you, as if you were a naughty child, if you leave the church. I just had to do a project for a local charity that happened to stick me in a large group with two older women from my ward. During the two weeks we were involved with this fund-raising drive, I had to talk to these women a couple of times and I swear, two-thirds of the times they talked to me like I was a naughty child i.e. "No, I'm not going to do that - here is what you are going to do." In that tone a mother uses with her disobedient child. I was SO furious that it's a good thing I only had to talk to the one woman twice and the other who I saw more often was the one who was mostly nice.

Another thing that bugs me is the way they react to someone who senses the shallowness of their goodness and light and doesn't buy it. My mom says things like "Well, it's just because worldly people don't really believe ANYONE is really that nice or that anyone can really be so happy." That's because it ISN'T real, Mom, and people sense that. Some Mormons just don't get how fake their spirituality plays or what real sincerity is about and yet they presume that there is something wrong with someone who doesn't buy their act. Aggravating.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/01/2011 09:14PM by CA girl.

Very condescending. They do talk to me like I am a bad little girl, and the irony is my parents didn't even use that condescending, controlling tone with me. My parents reasoned with us, and did not manipulate. I was always told to use my common sense, and to think. In our house we did not appeal to "authority". It was never WWJD or "let's see what SWK or JS has to say about that".

TBM's pooh pooh my happiness all the time, and are rarely happy for me. If something bad happens to me, to them it is because I am no longer a member. Then I have to remind them of what TSCC did to me, and how they (TSCC & members) were the cause of evil in my life, so at that point they imagine the cause of evil then has to be my fault. They cannot look at the actual cause, and effect of events. They see everything as TSCC is good, and everything else bad. If something bad happens it is always, because I am defective to them, because TSCC has to remain perfect. The thinking, and decisions are made for them by dogma, and not by rational thinking.

We saw many TBMs in my extended family this Christmas after an absence of over five years.

I was impressed at how respectful they were. Not once did we detect condescending behavior

All I can say is either they have changed radically (which I think may be the case), or they put on a flawless show for three days.

In either case, they demonstrated they respect people whether or not they are in the church.

That is a very very good sign.

and guilt that most TBM family members experience when a loved one goes over to the other side. They imagine it's their fault, that they did not demonstrate enough happiness, that they did not live the gospel perfectly in front of you.

After 5 years and there you are, not in rehab nor in jail, and they know you can live without their approval.

Gotcha some respect there, good for you. I'm sure your words will convey to board visitors that family alienation is not necessarily forever.


Thanks for sharing!

Anagrammy

In public they are mostly nice and don't want to make a scene (spirit of contention, doncha know) but once inside and after the party, the masks come off. They will all gather around the kitchen sink and speculate how awful we are. They'll get into a contest on who can make the most disparaging reason for us leaving. Or, they will clutch themselves and cry over how awful it must be to have satan as your only source of inspiration and companionship.

Exaggeration? Maybe-

But then, I've seen my wifes Catholic relatives do this as well.