I'm sure we all know ultra TBMs who delighted in adding their own strict interpretations to LDS doctrine and policy and attempted to impose this on everyone else. Couple of examples off the top of my head:
* an ex member of a stake presidency and former bishop that firmly believes kids dressing up even in non-goulish Halloween costumes is essentially on a par with devil worship.
* Only the most pure, white bread (i.e bleached and over-refined) could be used for sacrament - and the crusts MUST be removed.
* non tray carrying hand must be hidden behind one's back when passing the sacrament.

What other silly things did you encounter?

I have a relative who doesn't allow his family to drink chocolate milk or eat chocolate chip cookies. He and his wife had the audacity to complain to the cafeteria at the temple because they sell those 2 items.

There was a guy in the ward I grew up in that would stand outside the Cultural Hall and not allow chocolate to be brought into the building at potluck dinners and such.

I waited a beat, and piped up... "Brother Shields, it's really not that gross." The class burst into loud laughter for quite some time, and Brother Shields joined the ranks of BYU teachers who hated my insolent guts.

The mormon gf is an excellent french kisser ;)

There was a stake patriarch who believed if he committed even one sin (even a minor oned) EVERY PB he had ever given would be null and void and that, in effect, the result of his sin would be visited on the people he gave the blessing to.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/01/2011 09:16PM by matt.

BIL and sister who would not allow home made root beer to be put into empty coke bottles because it sent the wrong message.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/01/2011 06:51PM by mckay.

insisted that eating chocolate was breaking the word of wisdom. He also told everyone at tithing settlement and every other opportunity possible that if members paid 10% on their net, it wasn't a full tithing.

His family (6 altogether) included the most spiteful individuals I've ever had the misfortune of knowing. When I worked in primary with the wife (she was a counselor), she demanded that every single little nitpicking decision only be made with her approval for those "under" (beneath her is more accurate in her eyes) her "supervision."

That family was full of ugly ignorant hicks, every one of them! (Can you tell I didn't like them?)

BUT it's not edited for violence..........?????

Let's watch blood and gore.

And some TBM Utah family boycotted the newest Harry Potter movie because of "nudity".

DUMB

It sounds like TBMs are anally retentive jackasses.

We had a speaker caution us not to drink hot chocolate, Postum or anything else out of a cup in public because somemone might think we were drinking tea or coffee.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/01/2011 09:02PM by bona dea.

bona dea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> We had a speaker caution us not to drink hot
> chocolate, Postum or anything else out of a cup in
> public because somemone might think we were
> drinking tea or coffee.

But it is in no way to be mistaken for a cult! Oh dear me, no!

matt Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> bona dea Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > We had a speaker caution us not to drink hot
> > chocolate, Postum or anything else out of a cup
> in
> > public because somemone might think we were
> > drinking tea or coffee.
>
> But it is in no way to be mistaken for a cult! Oh
> dear me, no!

Well, to be fair, many of the ward thought he was an idiot and laughed about it.I think most of us still ordered hot chocolate when we went out for breakfast, but still! IT IS AMAZING THAT ANYONE COULD THINK THAT WAS IMPORTANT.

At the cafeteria of my work they serve everything in styrofoam cups. The few cultists that work there always have that "hmmm, I wonder what's in that cup" look on their face when they see one another in the hall carrying their styrofoam cup- especially if there is a lid on it. I even find myself feeling self-conscious when I walk out of the cafeteria with a styro-cup of soda!

And yes, I do admit that there was a time when I used to suspect the inactive guy who worked there when I saw him with a cup. But I swear I don't anymore.

And you know, the funny thing is is that people will hide a cup of coffee as if it was a bag of dope, but openly flip people off in traffic on their way to the temple.

Anal-retentive and general killjoy SP told everyone in our stake they should not go out to a nice dinner after going to the temple, neither should they go to the temple for date night - it was supposed to be all "duty".

No problemo, we stopped going to the temple altogether.

Damn cult always finds a way to kill every little pleasure.

My mission president told one of the guys who went home at the same time as I did in his final interview that eventually as we "grow closer to Christ" our vocabulary would change.

He told him that words like "awesome", etc. didn't invite the spirit. All vocabulary should be plain and nothing too emotional is the basically what he was saying. I remember thinking that it was pretty stupid to say the word "awesome" was a bad word even as an uber-TBM missionary.

Yeah, and beginning a talk with "Fuck it's cold out!" never goes down well.

The mormons that i grew up with all thought that anal sex was bad. Can you imagine? As the poet said, the unexamined life, and the life without buggery, is not worth living.

She saw me driving down the street with a Tootsie Pop in my mouth.

The appearance of evil is in the eye of the judgmental.


Anagrammy

On this one their spot one. Anal sex is disgusting.

So I'm guessing that your experience of being buggered was unpleasant? If you tell me about it I could probably help you so that next time you'll LOVE it!

Oh boy a grammar nazi. Get over yourself dude and you buggery fetish.

So you are one with Mormons when it comes to sex? I'm guessing that when you DO have sex, it's very... reverent.

Nope, I'm pretty liberal and quite good at it. But I have zero desire for anal sex. If you get ENORMOUS pleasure out of your poophole so be it.

And if you want to limit your sexual pleasures to the LDS approved pee-hole, so be it. Unfortunately, your ignorance about the variety of erogenous zone on the human body is strong evidence that when it comes to sex, you're neither skilled nor liberal. Take the word of someone who actually has a lot of experience in these things, judgmental twits are very bad lays.

Doing it doggy means you have somewhere to open and read your BoM.

Elders were not allowed to snog teens behind the chapel. Imagine.

All sex is disgusting unless you're the one doing it.

LOL...nice one!

The bishop didn't have a TV, and always 'bragged', about how this kept him away from the temptations of the world.

the same bishop spent a whole PH lesson telling us how we had to pronounce each word correctly in the sacrament blessings.... speaking BBC style, 'received pronunciation'... no dropping of 'h's or using a regional dialect (I was a newbie then... later on, I would probably have challenged him, and asked if all Americans are doing it wrong, since they all speak in those 'funny' accents)

I knew kids who couldn't play with regular face (poker) cards. They could, however, play with Uno cards if they wanted to play a card game like rummy or solitaire.

I knew another boy in high school who had reservations about seeing movies with a PG rating or higher. He was trying to keep himself pure for his mission. He was in HIGH SCHOOL. Even at the most Mormon high school in the world, life was far from PG! LOL Anyway, I laugh now because the guy LOVES Harry Potter and other movies that he normally wouldn't have liked back in those days. I have to wonder if his mission was everything he hoped it would be....



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/03/2011 10:39AM by Apatheist.

1. We had a family in our ward who waited until Monday to open gifts if Christmas fell on a Sunday. (And of course they had NOTHING to do with Halloween!)

2. Our SP always brought up the evil of face cards in his TR interviews.

Don't you think the bread that Jesus used was more like pita bread, probably made with unbleached, whole grain flour? French bread wasn't very common in Jerusalem in 1 AD.


It certainly wasn't Wonderbread!

My parents were quite a piece of work.

I grew up thinking these things were "normal". I assumed everyone (at least all Mormon families) were like this.

Their laundry list:

-Absolutely no face cards! They are of the devil! We are not even talking about gambling here, just the act of holding face cards is a sin. Even if you play solitaire with face cards, you might as well be worshiping the devil directly.

-No coke or any caffeinated beverages. This is a very common one for Mormons. However, my parents didn't know that Mt. Dew had caffeine and we used to drink that stuff all the time. LOL I never told them because I used to love the stuff, even though I knew it had caffeine. Boy were they surprised by the reactions of other uptight TBMs when they brought the stuff to a ward picnic. LOL That was the end of Mt. Dew in our house.

-No R rated movies

-No going anywhere on Sundays. We were not even allowed in our front yard. We could go in our backyard, but not our front yard. We could have friends over, but we couldn't go to our friend's house. Funny how such a strange arbitrary and quite contradictory set of rules made perfect sense at the time.

-After dinner we had to read the scriptures (usually the BoM). What a drag! I never understood anything and got nothing out of it. It seemed like just a bunch of garbled antiquated words put together in a blender. I now realize that is exactly what the BoM is. No wonder I didn't understand anything. It is one of the most poorly written pieces of literature ever published.

My ultra TBM mom was very strict about our vocabulary usage:

We weren't allowed to say hate, butt, call the Apostles dudes or guys...you get the picture. It's probably why I like to swear my butt off.

I wasn't allowed to watch SNL after she heard the "Gay Communist Gun Club" sketch.

No Colas or caffienated sodas.

On Sunday's we could NOT go outside to play. Period. We could watch all the T.V. we wanted, but forget a nice family walk on a summer evening.