My favorite song for a long time now has a lyric that goes, "Two against one, you and me against me."

Consider this.

Look at the women leading the nation in doing what they want, wearing what they want, pounding and sometimes breaking the glass ceiling. Winning or failing but free to be , free to follow any path that their deepest essence is drawn to. Free to try, free to fall down, free to still be seen as viable no matter what.

Look at mormon women. They are free too. Free to obey or free to be rejected if they don't obey. It isn't that they don't have a choice in marrying young, having kids young, wearing one earring and two sleeves, promising to obey their Preisthood endowed husbands, and on and on...even if it takes a pill or two.

They do have a choice, but, they have been carefully groomed, to fear any other choice than complete obedience. They are constantly rewarded by the TSCC with a 'well done thou good and faithful servant' every time they deny their true selves just the same as a dog is rewarded with a treat accompanied by a clicker. Eventually the clicker is enough and the treat isn't even offered and a dog will do exactly what you want. The mormon church has a clicker. How else could they get a young bride to sit through death oaths in a silly costume and stand in line for a quickie impersonal 'wedding' ceremony with her parents standing outside the Temple on what is supposed to be the most beautiful day of her life?

When it is you and mormon church, it is 'two against one, you and me against me'. You will go against all that is good inside of you, all that is curious and open and honest. You will deny your natural self to the core, because the church has chosen you to be on it's side---against you.

And it's not just the women, its the men too. We men were carefully groomed too. We took our place on the church's side. Two against one. Taught to be our own worst enemy.

If there were a god and he wanted everyone to be exactly the same, why did he create diversity? Is there anything more beautiful than diversity? What possible purpose could sameness serve? Oh, yeah. We know don't we.

I soooo hear you, blue.
I have always told my girls :
"It's imperative to be unique & have different opinions, tastes, ideas.
Life would be so boring if we were all the same."

Too bad I didn't give myself that gift until 41 years later....
Sigh.
Love this post.
Thank you

Beautifully said. I agree with you. I'm storing that saying away for future conversations with my (currently TBM) family.

You always hit it out of the park, blueorchid. I'm saving this one, too.

Wow! I never thought of that way, but I believe you might to on to something. The church is there to help you put aside the natural man and tells you that the natural man is an enemy to God, but really the natural man simply is...natural.

You are so right on this one.

And for the married couples it's the married couple and the church against them. And then come the kids. It's the married couple, and the church against the kids, teaching the kids how to join in and be against themselves.

And the knot gets tighter and tighter. Seemingly impossible to undo.

But, sometimes, some people get lucky. They get a little truth. Truth loosens the knot that's strangling them. The more truth they find, the looser the knot becomes until it no longer has the strength to strangle their life.

"But, sometimes, some people get lucky. They get a little truth. Truth loosens the knot that's strangling them."

I love this. That's why we're all here.

Thank you for that. I am printing this one.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/13/2013 09:36AM by snowyowl.

Thank you blueorchid.

Wonderful post. Referring to your song quote, I think I'm on a team against myself most of the time.

Sad isn't it?

Man is supposedly made in God's image, yet "the natural man is an enemy to God" and so God made an enemy. Even though the rest of the quote is "and has been from the Fall of Adam" one can still argue that God knew that was coming, and that he essentially set Adam up for the fall.

So we're left with a theology where God made you in such a way that your natural instincts are evil, where what you naturally want to do is wrong and bad, and you must join the church in fighting against yourself.

Come to think of it, church would have been more logical if we were all spawn of the devil, and Christ and the church were here to convert us away from our natural devilish ways.

Sadly a church could not thrive on a message of "we're all inherently good, and only here for a little while, so make it a good life while you can."

Such a great song. Jack White is one of my favorites. And an equally great application/treatise blue. You nailed it.

As a teenager, I was always baffled about how/why a natural man would be an enemy to God. He made us! So that went up on the shelf for 30 years while I waged war with myself. Fucking cult.

Thank you exmormon.org - you just made my day. Again.

I love that you know the song. The whole album just blows my mind. What a combination Nora Jones and Jack White.

Loved it the first time I heard it. Only caught half the lyrics, but the vibe/music made me sit straight up in my car as I was driving to work when it came on XM. Googled it the moment I walked into my office that morning.

One thing I never bought from those old codgers in the COB was to limit music choices. They really pounded on that in my youth, but for some reason, I never even faked trying to comply with that nonsense......I listened to everything.

Wish I had been smart enough to apply that to the rest of their BS. Oh well.

<<The mormon church has a clicker. How else could they get a young bride to sit through death oaths in a silly costume and stand in line for a quickie impersonal 'wedding' ceremony with her parents standing outside the Temple on what is supposed to be the most beautiful day of her life?>>

Whoa. That's real..

So well stated. Thank you!

Love it....Are You On Your Own Team....is that the title? Where can I get it?

The song is called Two Against One and is on a CD called "Rome" by Dangermouse. It features Jack White and Nora Jones and is exquisite. Very melodic, layered, and textured.

Are you on your own team is just my title for the post.

On another forum yesterday, someone was raving about the book "Women Who Run With Wolves". I haven't read it but it seems to be about realising your natural power and not feeling the need to conform by wearing high heels and being a quiet genteel lady.

I don't really think of myself as a woman because after all the church and social conditioning, I don't find the thought of it very appealing. I'm just a person instead.

I prefer being with dogs rather than being with most people. I can just be myself with them.

I can relate to that. Growing up in the church my mom internalized all the sexism and because of how my parent's marriage turned out (divorced), it nearly broke her.

I am a single heterosexual female but when people are overly identified with their gender, OR clueless about how they act out gender roles that aren't healthy, it is a drag. I realize I have internalized more than I thought.

IMO, just figuring out how to be a person first is a job in itself (depending on your definition of what being a person is!).

I agree, animals are good companions and teachers! They know how to just "be"!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/16/2013 08:59PM by snowyowl.

Once again a Blue Orchid Post is a slam dunk winner!! Thanks!

Well said. Excellent post! guilt, fear and control, a simple formula the church has perfected.

When I was first questioning, I went to mormon.org to see what other members had to say. Every person that posts on there says almost exactly the same things, almost always quoting the same GA's or official church statements.

Thanks for the great post.