I did everything I was supposed to do, and in retrospect it was and still is the worst two years of my life. Ungrateful Area Administrator, SLEAZY Mission President, idiot power-tripping companions, and people who couldn't care less about your special "message." Stay home and spend your money going to a good university.

"Stay home and spend your money going to a good university."

Great advice! My mission was actually kind of fun, but only because I broke every rule possible. I had great experiences an d horrible ones. I grew up! Could that ONLY have happened on my mission? Uh, no. Going away to university would have provided the same opportunities for growth and made a huge difference in my career path. I appreciate those 2 years for what they were, but I would much rather have spent them on education (or even career development).

For me the worst part of the mission experience was being stuck with DoucheBag companions. The majority of the comps I had were alright, but there were definitely a handful that made me want to hit myself in the head with a tack hammer!!!

I never really bought into all of the spiritual mumbo-jumbo, so it drove me crazy when the Mission Prez or APs preached that blessings come from obedience and working hard. BS!! All of the successful missionaries were good salesmen (Myself included). The poor no-personality schmucks that woke up extra early, worked extra late and followed every mission rule to the letter and STILL had no baptisms must have had some serious cog-dis going on. That kind of disconnect between reality and what is taught creates major emotional and mental trauma.

Wow! I'm really ranting here. Sorry! Anyway,the reality is that as a missionary you will become abused, unappreciated labor. You will deal with sometimes horrendous living conditions, psychotic companions and people who most of the time don't want anything to do with you. The positive experiences can be gained in more constructive ways. Don't Go!!!!

Take the time to enjoy and learn the local culture, whether you are going to Paris, France or Paris, Tn. Enjoy the people. Learn from them, share....don't preach, and be open to what they tell you too.

Expect it to be the hardest and most confusing two years of your life if you listen to the council of your leaders. However, girls seem to dig the missionary badge, so if he's into that...

It actually, in all reality, is not even close to the best two years of your life. You will labor and toil for very little reward other than a vague sense you are doing the right thing. You will come up against solid doubts on a weekly basis. You will be confused, hurt and scared more than anything else. Depending on where you go, you will live in squalor and catch at least one or two local diseases. People that you grow to love will turn their backs on you. You may occasionally receive praise for your efforts, but mlre often you will be chastised and told to "forget yourself and go to work". You will very rarely meet the impossibly high goals that you set for yourself and constantly feel that you are lacking in some area. You will still have problems with masturbation and think you are the only one. At the end, you will be tired and worn out. Depending on your perspective it will either be the biggest faith promoting experience in your life, or you will wonder wtf you were doing for the last two years.

So...go if you must, but don't buy the stories. It will be a very hard two years.

I wish I would have been shown Richard Pakhams website!

I'm not a RM, but one thing that I have read that some of those who served foreign missions report is that the Mission Office Staff often collect the missionaries passports when they arrive at the Mission Home, and keep them for the duration of the 2 years.


Please tell your potential mishie that: 1, this is ILLEGAL (and remember that one of the Articles of Faith says something to the effect that Mormons obey the laws of the land!), and 2, under no circumstances should he turn his passport over to anybody other than himself.


It isn't good to get into a confrontation with your Mission President when you first arrive in your new post, so you might help your mishie develop a few covert ideas for how he might "accidentally" fail to turn the passport over, instead of making a big scene over it and possibly pissing off his MP.


Somebody was saying a while back that the first time they were hit up about it, they pretended that they left it back at their apartment, and told them he was sorry and he would get it to them soon.


But he didn't. He had no intention of turning over the passport -- he just didn't tell them that.


They hit him up again about it later, and he says "Oh, I think I did give it to you all a while back. I got it to you all late, but I think if I recall correctly, that I did give it to you all."


They hit him up two or three times about it, but finally forgot about it.


And he carried his passport on his person the entire two years. They NEVER got their hands on it.

Oh, yeah, one other thing concerning the passports.


Educate your future mishie -- if he's going on a foreign mission -- on how to utilize the US Consulate services abroad.


If the Mission Home Staff manage to get his passport away from him even after you've tried to prepare him, and he feels he has to come home early, he CAN go to the nearest US Consulate office and apply for a replacement passport.


I'm not sure what the procedure is to do that, but find out for him, and then educate him on how this is done and what documents he will need to pull it off.

If he says he knows who has his passport the consulate will just tell him to demand its return. In that case he would have to involve the local police.

This above everything else: tell him he is not to surrender his passport under any circumstances!

Most countries have legislated that foreigners MUST bear their passports on their persons at all times. That means any mission that confiscates missionaries' passports is in violation of both U.S. AND host country laws.

You should know what you're going to be confronted with by people you attempt to teach. Here is a book written by a 30 yr. CES employee at BYU for which he was not excommunicated that you'll be glad to have read in you go. Or don't.

-keep your own passport
-bring a credit card/debit card for emergencies. If possible, have someone back home feeding him money for any need that comes up
-mission presidents aren't doctors. If you think there is a need for a doctor, see one
-get to know the locals and find out what parts of town to avoid, how to find a doctor/police, where to access the Internet (if possible), parts of town to avoid, and which restaurants make the best food
-really experience the culture. Don't let stupid mission rules stand in the way

I would give him a list of all the traits that make up a cult.

Then I would give him a list of all the mission rules.

Regardless of your feelings about whether the church is a cult - the missionary program IS ONE - no question about it.

You want to go on a mission? Ok, but you are literally joining a cult. Now every piece of advice you can give deals with the question "how to survive in a cult."

Tell him to go to college instead. If he wants to be more christian or spiritual, advise him to spend as much time as possible helping people less fortunate than himself.

The number one reason that I hated the entire mission experience:

I was a walking freakazoid for a cult. People stare at you all day long, 7 days a week, like you are a mooney cult-indroctrinated cult follower - BECAUSE YOU ARE. The happiest day in my life, was when I took off that badge and could be normal again.

If he is realy tbm and there is no chance of changing that, then:

-I wish someone would have told me that it's ok to break the rules and to let the rantings of MP and Z and L leaders, etc. go in one ear and leave by the other without staying in.

-I wish someone would have told me that it is better to follow my gutt feelings instead of the rules.

-I wish someone would have told me that I didn't need to feel guilty because I was giving more importance to people than to the church (which was contradictory to the rule of if the people don't seem to be interested in batpism, you drop them).

-Not something that I wish, but something that I've noticed so on the list I would add, to not feel like he has to get married so young after he comes back. Live your life the way you intend to live it and not according to others'expectations.

But I hope that your nephew will actualy decide to save his money and go to a great school and study in something that he likes. Hey, if he'd like the "going abroad" exprience, he could probably do it within his studies like in an exchange program between colleges and/or universities.

"Be proud on your mission knowing that you represent the ONLY American religious sect that has in its canonized scripture a picture of God's erect penis."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/23/2012 05:25PM by baura.

Book of Abraham, Facsimile No. 2, fig. 7

The whole facsimile is of a "hypocephalus" a round "eye of Ra" thing they put under the head of a mummy during the late phase of Egyptian civilization (way too late for Abraham to be involved). Figure 7 is of the "ithyphallic" god Min, sitting on his throne holding a flail. "Ithyphallic" means "represented with an erection."

http://www.bookofabraham.com/boamathie/BOA_7.html

Look about halfway down the page for fig. 7

Here is another view of Min--a standing version, the same Egyptian god that Joseph said was "Represents God sitting upon his throne, revealing through the heavens the grand Key-words of the Priesthood;"

http://www.probertencyclopaedia.com/j/Min.jpg

Also if you go to Italy, screw the rules and have some Tiramisu.

Mission presidents and general authorities can be some of the biggest assholes you have ever met!! Missionaries are just 19 year old, hard-ons with legs that got dressed up in suits and ties.

Just because some missionaries baptize and others don't, doesn't actually reflect their respective obedience and righteousness. You may wish you had spent those two years in college getting ahead or in the military accruing benefits.

Before I go to any foreign country, I determine where the nearest American Consulate/Embassy. (Lived there for a couple of weeks, after my passport was stolen in India in 1975)

To paraphrase Robert Frost:

The American Embassy/consulate is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.

As I understand it, if you get arrested in a foreign country, you are entitled to ask to see someone from your consulate/embassy.

If he gets sent on a mission outside the US, this information may be helpful. It was for me.

First, I would try to get him not to go. I talked one friend out of going and tried to talk another one out of it.

Study other religions and understand why people don't want to leave.

Test out the rules in the mission. If they work for you then do them, if not, don't. Number one thing to think about not doing is tracting. It is rude, intrusive, ineffective and boring.

1. Many of the missionaries are lazy, and don't really work hard, and that wastes your time. (If your companion doesn't want to go out what can you do?)

2. A mission does not prepare a person for life as much as people at church claim.

Go with your gut instead of the rules as was already mentioned.

1. The mission rules are designed to turn you into a TBM zombie
more that to bring people into TSCC.

On my mission I turned off a lot of investigators by following the freakin rules. I guess that was a good thing.

2. When you return the world you left may be turned upside down.
You may feel left behind. You may feel rushed to catch up
for the two years you lost.

3. The more you try and follow the rules and be the perfect
missionary the more your sanity will be challenged.

4. The church is BS enjoy the people and the culture if you
feel have to go on a mission.