Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Posted by: Lilith ( )
Date: August 07, 2012 05:53PM

Im not singling you out, fidget


But I'm using this post to point out something this nevermo has noticed in many mormon/ exmormon women. They apologize for taking up time and space. Men rarely do this. Of course its easy to see how being second class citizen in the church caused this. I wanted to point it out so young women would look at themselves and change.

There are interesting studies where when women were perceived as doing most of the talking by BOTH men and women, that the tape showed men to be doing most of the talking. Our society just perceives it this way because we have longthought women should defer to men.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: fidget ( )
Date: August 07, 2012 05:58PM

My sorry apology was more for whining, again. It's been a rough week and I've been rather grumpy. :)

I do see where you are coming from though.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Raptor Jesus ( )
Date: August 07, 2012 06:02PM

When they take up space outside the kitchen/bedroom.

And you are only "grumpy" because you aren't pleasing a man.

;)

You are great. Don't apologize for things that are bullshit to begin with. That's what "the man" would have you do.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: fidget ( )
Date: August 07, 2012 06:25PM

Hahaha thanks RJ

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: flyboy21 ( )
Date: August 07, 2012 06:10PM

Good reply. You best hear the words of her mouth, sis ;)

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: fidget ( )
Date: August 07, 2012 06:24PM

Sorry.

Kidding!!! Haha

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: August 07, 2012 06:20PM

Except that they're usually not very long. They also sometimes apologize for their writing, spelling, grammar and negativity, none of which are problematic in the least in my opinion.

I call it "new poster nerves." They're probably worried about how they'll be perceived and their esteem is flagging from living the mind crushing hampter maze life of a mormon.

I say, be brave, lurkers! Go ahead and post if you're at all inclined. It gets easier the more you try. If you don't like the replies or lack of them, try again. We've all been where you are and understand so just be brave and go for it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Naomi ( )
Date: August 08, 2012 04:32PM

I've seen the occasional complaint about a post being too long, so I mention it in the heading if it's a long post, just to give advance warning. If someone is too lazy to read the whole thing, they can read something else instead.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: matt ( )
Date: August 07, 2012 06:24PM

Lilith Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Im not singling you out, fidget
>
>
> But I'm using this post to point out something
> this nevermo has noticed in many mormon/ exmormon
> women. They apologize for taking up time and
> space. Men rarely do this. Of course its easy to
> see how being second class citizen in the church
> caused this. I wanted to point it out so young
> women would look at themselves and change.
>
> There are interesting studies where when women
> were perceived as doing most of the talking by
> BOTH men and women, that the tape showed men to be
> doing most of the talking. Our society just
> perceives it this way because we have longthought
> women should defer to men.

Actually, there's one thing my nevermo wife says drives her mad is the fact that I apologise for things, even when she has acknowledged it was something she did wrong! :oO

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: robertb ( )
Date: August 07, 2012 10:45PM

Lilith,

Did the studies show a difference in the amount of talking in different settings, for example, men talking more in work and political settings, but women talking more in more intimate settings? That has been my impression, but I haven't checked it against research. My impression also is that the purpose of men's talk is different from women's talk, but again no data, so I may be mistaken.

Robert

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Mia ( )
Date: August 07, 2012 11:00PM

When you first come on this site, it's like being a stranger walking into a room of friends.

You're not always sure what's acceptable, and what's not. It takes time to learn the lingo and the protocol.

It can be especially intimidating when you see someone else being attacked for something that doesn't seem like it's that big of deal.

Not to mention you are coming out of a system where your opinion isn't valued. Or, even worse you can lose membership privileges for having a thought that doesn't fit with the agenda.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2012 04:34PM by Mia.

Options: ReplyQuote
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In


Screen Name: 
Your Email (optional): 
Subject: 
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
 **     **  **     **  **    **  **     **  **    ** 
 **     **  ***   ***  **   **   **     **  ***   ** 
 **     **  **** ****  **  **    **     **  ****  ** 
 **     **  ** *** **  *****     *********  ** ** ** 
 **     **  **     **  **  **    **     **  **  **** 
 **     **  **     **  **   **   **     **  **   *** 
  *******   **     **  **    **  **     **  **    **