I'll try to make this brief (always know that when I write that -- it is a total lie - I don't have that talent).

I am a single parent and I have a number of small children and 2 of them have special needs (diagnosed) and the other ones just have bad attitudes. BUT, THEY ARE MY LITTLE BLESSINGS!

Some of you may imagine that not enough money has been printed to pay some poor unsuspecting sitter to take on this task of watching all of them for any length of time worth putting on make-up for. Getting a sitter for my little brood is harder than getting a bill passed through our legislative system.

Remember the I Love Lucy episode where she was tricked into watching 3 triplets that eventually tied her and Ethel up and tried to burn them at the stake? That would be tame compared to the sweet loving children I refer to as the 'Fruit of my looms.'

I have shared that I am trying to expand my circle of friends and arranged for a very sweet TBM woman (who my chick-lettes are familiar with and listen to) to watch them while my friend (a never-mo) and I went up the road (for her birthday) to a restaurant/bar that has good food and live music.

Half way through the evening I get a text from TBM sitter that reads that her adult grandaughter (who is less than half our ages) is "on her way to the restaurant/bar." This grandaughter lives more than an hour away. No one invited her out on our evening.

I had just finished my Agave/Mint Mojito and had to ditch the glass (see another thread later re:what a giant hypocrite I am). When the Grandaughter arrived at the restaurant/bar, I asked her if she wanted something to drink. She said that she was broke. I know I would have caught hell from her grandmother if I bought her a drink (no one knows that I have a few here and there). So, I ordered water for her.

The Grandaughter stayed about 20 minutes and leaves. She returned to my house and I learned she stayed a while to talk with her grandmother (while my children slept).

What was the purpose of her crashing my friend's birthday celebration? I feel like it was just to completly check up on me/us. Who texts you to tell you their unexpected relative is inviting herself to your party--in the middle of the party?

BTW, my TBM sitter is very well mannered...so this is completely out of character for her. I barely had 5 minutes notice to ditch my cocktail and kill my buzz.

What's up? Even my never-mo friend thought this was VERY odd.

So, I ask: Are your paranoid if people really are following you? [Sorry for any typos, I need a taste of the hair of the dog that bit me last night!]

That's really weird and creepy. The only way I can see it making sense is that the girl was planning on visiting with her grandmother and said grandmother wanted you to meet her first so you'd feel comfortable at your house with your kids. But then, why not just say that? Yeah, really creepy.

I am a bit paranoid. Especially with my family's equivilant of the CIA.

I guess you'll need to give your sitter your phone number but not tell her your exact destination. I think it's unprofessional for any babysitter to enterain anyone in the home where they're working. I know it's hard for you to find good sitters, but you, the employer shouldn't have to be responsible for this woman's granddaughter in the bar or your home.

I might ask the sitter. Say something like, "It was nice meeting your grandaughter, but I was wondering why she came to the bar. Did she want something and was too shy to ask?" It is strange. I always asked if I could have guests when baby sitting, but in this case, it was a grandmother entertaining her granddaughter rather than a teenager inviting her boyfriend over and ignoring the kids.I wouldn't be too converned so long as she didn't ignore the kids, but sending the girl to the bar is wierd.I'd let her know in a nice way that you wonder why she showed up.

That's not paranoid -- that's observant.

I don't in my opinion think that she was checking up on ya, but rather doing the typical "white trash" thing that Mormons do...that is inviting themselves to someone elses party/lunch/meal in hopes of getting free food. She actually expected you to pay for her drink out of guilt cause she had no money? Think about it????
The reason I have that thought is cause when I was in UT, I had just started a new job, and we had one hell of a doozie "white mormon trash" dude at the office. Anyway, being in the service industry, we had a big job scheduled for a Saturday, so I bought doughnuts, chocolate milk, OJ, for the WORK crew. He was NOT even scheduled to work that day, and NO reason for him to be at the office. I think I remember him overhearing me saying the day before that I was bringing doughnuts on Saturday....On Sat am, he sees me walk in with all the breakfast goodies, then he calls his wife, and says "Hi honey, there's juice and doughnuts at the office, bring the kids." That pissed me off soooo bad, and when he got off the phone, I looked right at him and said "(enter his name here) THIS food is for the work crew, and NOT for your family!" Then I also added "It aint MY responsibility to feed your family, nor can I afford it!!!" I also added that "THEY can get their own breakfast, cause I aint paying to feed them!" Well, I guess he must have called the wife back cause they never showed up! I was just so fed up with him leeching off of everyone!!! He was so damn cheap white trash that they shopped at the DI for xmas presents for his nasty ass family. One kid was lucky enough to score a very worn out ET doll that x mas, and they didnt even own a TV. I know that for a fact, cause one time he stopped by my house with his maggoty ass wife and kids in tow to pick up some papers, and his kids were totally awestruck cause I owned a TV!! THAT in itself is pretty bad!
So, no, she was just trying to score a meal and have you pay for it cause she showed up to that restaurant with NO money?? Think about it.

That is a possibility.She didn't have enough money or a credit card and couldn't buy a drink/ When I was growing up there was a family in town like that. They showed up on Christmas Eve and obviously were looking for a place to stay. We didn't invite them so they went to the neighbors after we politely told them late at night that we were going to bed and ran up a big phone bill which they did not offer to pay . When my dad died, they showed up at the brunch uninvited. In my town that was for family and nobody else ever showed up, but they did.Even if they were used to different customs, they shoul have noticed that only family was there. In my experience, this isn't a common Mormon thing, but it can happen.

Forcing them/her to drink water seems like fair payback, cause the Mormons are way to cheap to even supply soda or drinks of any kind at their functions/dinners!! Good for you making her have water only.

Did you know this girl previously?

" Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they are not out to get you !!! "

Yes, I have met this grandaughter a few times and you guys are right that she is a real user in terms of getting money out of her grandmother...which is why it surprised me that she arrived withOUT having gotten a $20 bill from Grandma. [Her Grandmother is very generous to everyone including me, often pays when we go out for dinner and WILL NOT allow me to pay her for baby sitting.] I did NOT invite the granddaughter to my house -- ever (later Grandma said, "I didn't think you'd mind.") You see, when there are only two people on the planet that can watch your kids...you may be ready to sell your soul for a few hours off.

I did try to have a conversation with Grandma about this and all I got was:
-- that the grandaughter called her at the last minute said she wanted to drive up and when she got here was trying to talk grandma into buying her a new cell phone (this is not unusual behavior for her).
-- Grandma said she sent grandaughter to the restaurant/bar to "show us how to have a good time." I said that I have shoes older than her grandaughter and it wasn't neccessary.

Unusual: is that Grandma said to grandaughter "okay come over." In the past, I have heard her tell grandaughter (on the phone) that she is with me and not available.

Lately, Grandma and others (if you've been reading, you know) have been laying it on thick about me "needing to go back to church."

Because I have stopped going to church other weird stuff happens, too. I.e., Same TBM Grandma called me a few months ago and said, "There is a car in your drive-way. Are you okay?" [Understand that I have a very certifiable violent bats*&t crazy ex-husband] so the question was not odd but the drive by was...I live on a cul de sac! I didn't think much of that at the time. Also, an older (kind of good guy) TBM told Grandma's husband that HE thought it was time for Grandma's husband to cut my grass because it LOOKED too high...when is this guy driving past my house...remember, cul de sac to no where?!

You're not paranoid if people are really out to get you.