I just overheard 2 co-workers discussing the fact that Elder Holland spoke in their stake and apparently he is praying for the second coming.

TO me this sounds like "Wow I sure hope we destroy ourselves ASAP"

Does this kind of apocalyptic thinking bother anyone else?

No,
I pray everyday for the coming Zombie Apacolypse...

Tell him to get a clue, because the only people who are obsessed with death are the ones who have no life.

Exactly! They want to die to escape Mormonism because it makes their lives a living hell.

Rubicon's got the answer. Simple and to the point. He is ready to bolt.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/18/2010 08:44PM by honestone.

I am a bit under the weather today and have been for a week. This thread has put new life in me. I crackle when I laugh but boy have I been laughing. I laughed at nearly every word- minus one or two post. You guys crack me up!

I'm ready for the Rapture and have left instructions for emails to be sent out to those left behind the day after I've been lifted up. I don't see why anyone should be bothered by that. (;)

http://www.raptureletters.com

I have heard people pray for the second coming to happen soon. My dad does. Well, he did last I knew. He says something about "hastening" the coming of the Lord. No wonder he really likes Holland.

In high school, I had a friend tell me how excited he was that we would witness all the continents coming back together. (I had heard of this, but I don't think it's something they talk about in church anymore.) He was so excited about it, obviously convinced that our generation would be one of the last. I told him, "Do you even realize what is supposed to happen BEFORE that?" I don't recall his response. I don't think he had one. I'm just glad I don't have to live in fear of it anymore. In fact, since I left, I haven't had a dream about the end of the world.

Praying for God to come down and murder in fiery apocalypse everyone on earth except people who go to their church? Sounds like a good time was had by all. Did they get his autograph?

let me get shishkabobs and BBQ - fit for the occassion.

In my hard core TBM days, I prayed once asking God "to destroy our enemies". whatever the heck that meant. Just one more embarrassing moment from my TBM past.

Always strikes me as kind of strange. I guess, if you think you're going to heaven then why not sooner rather than later. But I kind of want to live my life before entering into the afterlife.

Mo-bot thinking: "If Elder Holland, an APOSTLE of THE LORD®™, a MAN OF GREAT FAITH®™, is now praying for the Second Coming, well, you know that things must be REALLY bad here on planet Earth in terms of wickedness!"

Holland's thinly-veiled message to LDS sheeple:

"Just hang in there! Yes, some of you may have found out that the Prophet of the Restoration, our beloved Joseph Smith, made other men's wives and teenage girls young enough to be his daughters his plural wives, and, yes, you may have learned that this church is spending millions and billions of dollars on commercial real estate projects while getting members to clean church buildings because profit targets weren't being met, and, yes, church is boring as hell, even more so since we've centralized decision-making and reduced ward budgets so that even more cash is sent to church coffers in SLC, and, yes, this church has systematically deceived millions of people since 1830 with its propaganda about JS, early church history, and other key aspects of our faith, and, yes, the true Book of Mormon, the cornerstone of our religion, has been proven by science to be a work of fiction, but don't leave!

"The end draweth nigh! The Lord will return in majesty, power and glory at any moment and you don't want to have strayed from the straight and narrow path! We know that barely making ends meet has been really hard on millions of members, particularly during the Great Recession that we, as prophets, seers and revelators, failed to foresee and warn members about, and failed to put financial safeguards in place to protect church revenues so that this one, true religious corporation of Jesus Christ might have been able to financially assist struggling members, who have sacrificed so much over the years and decades to build up this, the one, true Kingdom of God on Earth, but we didn't. We're only human, after all!

"As long as Latter-day Saints are willing to get down on their knees and scrub toilets in church buildings, I am willing to be shuttled around in a business jet or endure business class to let church members know that I'm praying for the Second Coming! That's how much this fabulously wealthy church and its faithful members mean to me, one of its inspired, senior directors!"

If you think about it, apocalyptic religions believe we are in hell now. You have to die before anything gets better. They also preach the more you sacrifice (for the church of course) and make your life more miserable, the better reward in the next life. Sounds like a ponzi scheme to me.

Please beam me up before Saturday when I have to clean the toilets at the church!

Yep, and it would be like the old joke. Holland may be praying for it, but Profit Monson would get a phone call that Jesus is on the phone, wants to see him immediately, and is @*&^%(@ mad at the Mormon Church for not following his teachings and has a few words for the Pharisees at the top of the Mormon Ponzi scheme.

Or the old, old, OLD joke that Monsoon's assistant tells him there is good news and bad news. The good news is that Jesus has returned and is on the phone for the Profit. The bad news is that He is calling from Rome.

Drumroll, moans.....

I frown at his attempts to rabble rouse the Mormon public with his shameful tactics. It's people like him that made me want to leave the church. I thought I could stomach church if I went the New Order Mormon route or the stay-LDS route, but it's specifically his rhetoric that has made people like my father chase me out of the church with a stick because I wouldn't accept every single little thing the church says. People like him make me sick. Him, along with Mr. Wrinkley and his "It's all or nothing" speech, pushed me to the edge. He has broken up families and he probably feels so shamed by it that he hopes he gets burned right the fuck up at Jebus's coming. Too bad it's harder to erase speeches gone bad with modern technology....I wonder if he actually cares though.

It seems sort of odd if he thinks that the end of the world as we know it is just around the corner.

"To see your enemies before you and to hear the lamentation of their women" from major Bidamon above

One of the better quotes that I have seen posted on this site.

Yes .... You are correct my young exmo warrior! Here is the quote in its full enemy crushing glory:

"Mongol General: What is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women."

Some bishops, MP's and SP's do more in assisting people to leave Mormonism that we do. Let's hope that's the case here.

Let's see. If the Mormon Church were baptizing a million converts a year, does'nt that MP realize that at that rate it would still take 6500 years to convert the whole world, as is supposed to happen before the 2nd Cumming?

There was a missionary who was part of the exmo missionary group in SLC a while back with this startling revelation:

A certain missionary was not meeting conversion goals and his companion, convinced that he was slacking in prayer, reported him to the MP. The MP called him in and gave him the cross exam, including the masturbation quiz. He then chastised him, telling him that his weakness was delaying the Second Coming of Christ. (I swear I am not making this up).

I was so shocked by this I still remember we were meeting at Marie Calendars on 33rd.

The kid became so depressed-- I think he went home. Correct me if I'm wrong if any of you guys are reading this.

Anagrammy

The Creep that terminated me to this day, now stake pres
over I'm sure gossip shit that fed his ears, that fucked
up my marrige. But perfect timing that he was called just
when I came back to church in australia after attending
re-baptism inteview overseas and found worthy, only to
be spat apon on my return. That was 5 years ago.
This asshole stake president, had a father who was not
only asshole stake president but also a mission pres
in Adelaide Australia, who sent a missionary home for
having a wet dream over his eternal bride to be.
This cost him his life in SUICIDE, shunned so much and
his feonci family made his life such hell and talked
the daughter out from marrying him for having a wet
dream on his mission over her...

What an asshole relegion, that even wet dreams on a mission
can get ya sent home dishonary, such bullshit but then
again he shouldnt confessed it to his creepy companion
who complained to the mission pres that led to his
dismisal and then cost him his life.

Fuck Mormonism. The asshole son of that mission pres
is alive and well, a lawer by profession and still
conducting his court room attacks on messy mormons
who are not perfect enough like him. Maybe he never
mastubated or had a wet dream to be such an arrogant
bastard leader here in Dianella Perth Australia..

All mastubaters or anyone prone to wet dreams, there
is no 2nd chance with the likes of this pharisee asshole
leader here. What a creepy guy and so happens his father
was excomunicated for adultary and never re-baptised to
this day and I believe is inactive. Of course the son
will never make such a mistake, He is making up for his
arrogant father and if succeeds will be an even greater
asshole, for at least the father paid for his sins.
The son is getting away with self-rightousness to the core
and if there was gun rights in this country someone would
of shot him by now.....

karri23@yahoo.com

WA priesthood leaders tended to be sanctimonious asshats. I bet I know the guy.

Yes, you're right. It's a bad, bad religion and is totally screwed up with a capital F. But don't have an aneurysm, man!

Elder Holland wants Christ to return *before* the LDS Corporation completely implodes. Not after.

He's worried that if the Church continues its present downhill slide he will be out of work and panhandling on the streets of SLC before Christ shows up.

Elder Holland can't see any way out of the continuing revelations about the perfidy of the LD$ Corp. He needs Deus ex Machina, and he needs it now.

Ever since he had that huge meltdown when he did that talk about the Book of Mormon at General Conference in Ocotber of 2009, I've gotten the impression that he is really going off the deep end! 8-O

Matt 24:34 Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled.

... from all the US Evangelicals saying that the "Rapture" is nigh, and praying for the end of the world and all? Sounds to me like they're lock-step.

Besides, we all know that Holland is an ass.