An update from the thread I posted here:
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,560230,560230#msg-560230

I e-mailed the bishop asking how he found out about my injury, but didn't get any response for several days, so I sent this:

"Allright, since you are not willing to tell me who informed you of my injury (a simple, "someone on Facebook" or "a family member called me"), I am going to assume that you are protecting someone for legal reasons, perhaps a HIPAA violation, from a certain member of your ward that works at the radiology clinic. I will be making a formal complaint to the clinic unless I hear otherwise.
-icedlatte"

The next day, I got this response:

"It wasn't anyone from near that I am acquainted with. I have never met this person before anday not. It was a call that didn't want me to know who they were but knew you and had heard of the accident. I am sorry that I bothered you about it and will live by your wishes. Please forgive me for my concern. That's just the kind of person that I am. I will not attempt to contact you with out your consent. Bishop x"

So from a few other clues, we were able to deduce that it was my dad who called up Bishop X. Looks like Bishop X told him about our resignation during their conversation and now my dad is not speaking to me. We sent out a letter to the whole family explaining our reasons for leaving and have only received one reply so far, from my awesome sister-in-law, who basically just wished us well and said she was glad we are happy.

Also, an ankle update:

I saw the orthopedic surgeon today. We had hoped that my ankle would heal on its on and not require surgery, but its not healing well at all and is getting worse. So I'm scheduled for surgery tomorrow afternoon and am terrified. I'll be awake for the entire thing with just a spinal for anesthesia (similar to a c-section). I have had a c-section before and started hyperventilating during the surgery, so I'm hoping and praying I can stay calm and get through this. So if you pray, please pray for me tomorrow, or at least send some good thoughts my way :)

I wish! I know she would if she were anywhere near us, but we live in North Idaho and she lives in Southern California.

the ordeal with your ankle (and the church stuff) sounds horrible! best of luck!

wow best wishes. how far along are you?

24 weeks. Apparently good timing to break your ankle since the risk from having x-rays is much lower after the 2nd trimester and I should be able to bear weight on my ankle before my due date.

I had to get a mri when I was pregnant. I was really scared but doctors assured me it was ok. I imagine it's about the same with xrays

I can't believe that man calling himself a bishop told your father without your permission. What a complete breach of confidentiality. And his is so-called apology is passive-aggressive.

"Please forgive me for my concern." Should have read

"Please forgive me for my intrusion."

And what is up with "That's just the person that I am." ???? He is bragging about what a compassionate person he thinks he is when he is being insensitive and abusing his power and position.

This is exactly the type of manipulation that I CANNOT STAND.

A real apology has two parts only.

1) Here is what I did wrong
2) I am sorry

Unfortunately he added and extra part

3) I am awesome and you are angry even though I did nothing wrong.

Part three negates 1) and 2) and that is no apology at all.


On another note, best wishes to you during your surgery and rehab. Sorry you have to go through this while you are pregnant!

Exactly! I don't completely fault my dad for calling, since he really did want to help. Pretty pissed at the bishop though for outing us (especially when we were planning on sending out our carefully written, very kind and respectful letter to family this month).

His "oh I'm such a compassionate and caring person" is total BS. The only time I've seen this man get off his a$$ and do something about ANYTHING is when he lectured the ward on punctuality.

Your dad seems to be a good guy, but does he have a reason for not coming to see you himsef to help?

Well, now he is upset and not speaking to us in an attempt to send the message of "see, when you leave the church, bad things happen and you destroy family relationships" Prior to his talk with the bishop, most of the family thought we were just lazy inactives. And since my TBM family (at least my mom) strongly believes in the whole "Dad is the patriarch of the family" thing, nobody is coming to help, even though they live just half a day's drive away and could if they wanted to. I know my mom wants to come help, but dad is keeping her from doing anything.

Luckily, we've found help through the new church we've been attending. Their concern and help is so much more genuine than any VT I've ever had. I now have a bunch of surrogate grandmas taking care of me and spoiling my kids :)

Damn. Honestly, what you're saying is making me cry. Of course, I'm dealing with my own family problems, so I'm really sensitive to things like this.

I'm glad though that your new congregation is stepping up.

The bishop patted himself on the back in your passive aggressive imitation "apology."

Hope you can do some deep breathing and let go of tension as it's really out of your hands.

Hugs and my virtual high-five. You can DO this! You are a strong woman and an invincible fighter.

Anagrammy



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/19/2012 11:01PM by anagrammy.

So sorry about the ankle and imminent surgery. I've been awake for many surgeries and have managed better each time. It was a problem for you once, but I hope that experience means you're more prepared this time. It might sound silly to tell you how I manage but there's a slight chance it could help. I imagine resting and reclined in the most beautiful setting on earth. I let my mind wander to flowers and envision as many as possible for each letter of the alphabet after getting to zinneas, I start over and think of the ones I missed the first time. My longest surgeries doing this were three hours each of my cornea transplant when I couldn't blink, move a muscle or swallow hard while they worked on me or for four hours in the recovery roo.. It worked for me and might work for someone else.

Find your own little mind trick if this one doesn't appeal to you. Your brain is powerful and you need to use it to the best advantage possible. Good luck.

Sorry to hear of the difficulties. I will be thinking of you and praying for your ankle to heal quickly and that your baby will be perfect.

I somehow missed your initial post about your injury.

I wish there was some way I could help you. But I'm broke, & probably live too far away. I hope your surgery is a success.

As for that damn bishop - Argh!!!!

How ridiculous that bishop sounds. It's like he's saying how dare you not let him be concerned.

Sorry that you have to have surgery. Wishing you a speedy recovery and sending you good thoughts.

GNPE is neither Preggers nor has a broken ankle.

Film at 11.

It would appear that the Bishop flat out lied when he said he wasn't tipped off by anyone he knew...

Good luck with your surgery tomorrow. My prayers are with you. The good news is that it should be quick (hopefully < 1 hour.) Can you take a sedative beforehand? That helped me out.

Cheryl has a good idea about distracting your mind. I think of a hammock by a beach with one foot trailing in the sand. Another idea is that if you are able to move one wrist around, you can move it in a little circle or drum your fingers in a certain pattern. It takes focus to do that and it keeps your mind off of things.

You will want a lot of rest for the first three days afterward. I'm glad that you have people to help you out. Keep posting and let us know how you're doing.

I have a broken right ankle
No no on preggers for me

My best to you, I want updates after your surgery! Take it very easy because you will heal faster. They told me that :)

Mines the right one too! So no driving for me for a looong time. Spiral fracture of the right distal fibula. I'm pretty sure my couch will have a permanent butt print on it soon, all I've been doing is sitting on the couch watching shows on Netflix and hobbling myself to the bathroom once an hour.

I hope yours heals quickly, did you need surgery on it or just a cast?

with the phony bishop. When I read the title to your thread I thought. "Wow, she broke her ankle and wasn't able to run fast enough to escape her husband's advances and now she's pregnant!"

I certainly laughed like a hyena! Thanks!

bahaha!

Morning! hehehe... I am only suppose to be up 10 minutes of each hour because of swelling. My paperwork says - distal fibula fracture.

The Ortho surgeon I saw day before yesterday was absolutely marvelous! I can't drive either and had alot of anxiety just getting to the visit. He said it was just a simple break... but a break across... something. I have a walking boot. He said it looked just as it should at this point. I see him again in 2 weeks, no surgery mentioned, yay!

My problem is swelling... try to avoid it. lol... Boot doesn't fit if my leg/foot is bloated. Also... I just flat spend too much time on the computer not keeping it up./ But now I have it raised even sitting down. He gave me very specific directions... much better than the hospital did. He took his time with me... so very nice.

I have a 10 minute timer running.... darn thing... but it helps me manage my time better. No video gaming for a while.

Enough of me. I just wanted you to know I sympathize with you.
Sucks not being able to drive.
Best to you and BABY!!!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/20/2012 11:31AM by mindlight.