In my mormon experience, I only had one bishop's interview, and that was so I could do baptisms for the dead. I lied and said I hadn't fornicated. I don't remember the experience much, but I know I lied.

Since I don't remember the experience very much, I'm curious as to your experiences in Bishop's interviews. What kind of intrusive questions have you been asked by your bishop?

My bishop asked where and how the boys touched me. He also asked specifically, if I liked it.

Interesting. If you said "no", then it's not a sin, but if "yes" then it's a sin? Ridiculous.

If no, it's still a sin. Better die than be a licked cupcake and all that jazz...

Also, one bishop wanted a play by play.

That bishop was a douchebag pervert/pedophile.

It really surprises me that in today's day and age parents are willing to allow their children to be subjected to this kind of interview.

Mormon parents in my opinion are clueless in allowing a man to interview a young person about these personal matters. He is just a creep and why they don't get that is beyond me. Mormon parents should feel very guilty each and every time they allow this.

My bishop grilled me about the big "M-word" and then grilled me about whether I left the girls alone.

What I didn't tell him, and what he never found out, was that I WANTED to leave the girls alone. They were not what I was interested in! LOL!

The worst thing is that we were lied to, & told that this line of questioning is basically like confession, & that it also goes on in other churches.

Exactly. And what were the special qualifications needed to be a
" judge in Israel"??
Oh, that's right.
A penis.
And a penchant for grilling children about their sexual thoughts, desires, and experiences.
Yep, truly "inspired".

I didn't join the Mormon church until I was 19, so I was spared having to endure that, although I did go to confession sometimes, being raised Catholic. I have two boys, one of whom is turning 12 next month, and I already have planned out what I'm going to state to his TBM dad (who takes the boys to church) and their bishop.
There will be NO closed door interviews on this subject between my minor child and an untrained, unprofessional lay clergyman. I've heard too many horror stories here at RfM and there will be legal consequences if anyone tries it against my wishes. You'd think that for their own sorry-ass sakes these "priesthood authorities" would realize that it's not in their best interest to have these kinds of interrogations, but if nobody holds them accountable, they'll continue to get away with it.
I get really upset about this one, because of my own two kids being that age. It makes Mama Grizzly Bear ANGRY!!

Good for you. I don't have kids and I'm amazed that this would still go on.

Momma Grizzly I totally respect you. Stand your ground.

The intrusive questioning would stop if parents were not enablers.
Blame the parents.

I couldn't agree more.

Yes. I think it's common that parents actually want it to happen because they don't want their kids being sexually immoral (according to their own standards) yet know that their kids aren't going to listen to them just because they say. But, if they can get the spiritual leader of the ward to reiterate that all of that stuff is bad, lay on the guilt and emotional manipulation, it's more likely that the kids will fall in line with out the parents having to do anything else.

They don't spend half as much time on any other "sin" as they do on the sexual ones. They want to know how much you liked it, if your partner ejaculated, they want to know if you masturbate with an implement or just your fingers.

Sick, sick, sick. Now I look back on how my mother always barged in on my brothers in the shower to make sure they weren't touching themselves inappropriately and wonder how I didn't realize how abnormal that all was. (She barged in on me, too, even when I was an adult. But it wasn't because she was afraid anything bad was happening; she just had this attitude that since she made us, she had complete dominion over us. Weirdness, right?)

After I fornicated, I can remember thinking, "Well, I guess I don't have a soul anymore". Even that wasn't enough to get me to stop, however.

How long has it been since you were asked those type of questions?I'm assuming this is still a practice in 2012.

That was in 1998-2000. Sorry; I have no idea how often those questions still get asked at this point.

As a youth, my issues weren't with fornication, but with masturbation. And oh yes, they would drill on that topic.

I know of one teen couple who had sex and let the guilt get to them, so they went to confess to the bishop. They compared notes afterward and the bishop had asked the girl for the whold story in detail, but had not done anything of the sort when interviewing the boy.

They will never excommunicate a boy simply for fornication. & if they do it's rare.

I have 2 cousins - 1 on my dad's side (a girl), & 1 on my mom's side (a boy). My girl cousin slept with her boyfriend & was exed. She was even humiliated by her stake president. My boy cousin did a lot do worse things (drugs, smoking, drinking, sleeping around with different girls, etc.), & he had only a minor disfellowship.

In high school, my friend (not tbm, just went to church because her family made her) told her parents that she'd invited a guy over to the house and slept with him, and they made her confess to the bishop. I don't think she was placed under much discipline (since the bishop knew she didn't really believe anyway... what's the point of forbidding taking the sacrament when it doesn't mean anything?), but she did get a good chewing out about it. As she was leaving, in walks the boy that slept with her, going to the next door down to interview with his ward's bishop (and his dad) about getting his Eagle. Sure, everyone knew that he was a playboy, even his parents, but still. She was so upset that she got raked over the coals and he got rewarded, so to speak.

The most uncomfortable and "icky" moment I ever experienced as a teenager in the Church was when my normally laid-back Bishop went out of town and left one of his counselors in charge of conducting worthiness interviews for a ward youth trip to the temple to perform baptisms for the dead.

The counselor was an FBI agent in his day job and conducted the interview in the inquisitorial manner of a "bad cop" just like on TV. Unfortunately, there was no "good cop" to balance things out. I was 14. He asked me if I masterbated. Even though I have an anxiety disorder, I managed to look him in the eye,lie, and say "no".

He stared right at me with his eyes boaring into mine for a full two minutes before asking me, "Why not?" I didn't answer.

Another couple minutes passed in silence before hesaid, "Well, maybe you are still too young." He then signed my recommend and sent me on my way.

As I finally got out of there, my relief turned to anger-- for a teenage guy could there be any more embarrassing situation? I couldn't understand why this interview style was so different from the bishop's. The bishop mostly seemed to want to make sure we were doing OK. How much of a "sinner" can a 14-year-old guy be anyway?

I left half-wishing that that counselor had used his inspiration and called me on it and denied me a recommend. I didn't really want to wake up at 4 am for the bus ride to the temple and waste my entire Saturday on yet more church. Back then, youth in my area at least, were pressured into participating in temple trips. We were made to feel that the chance to go to the temple was such a rare and obvious huge spiritual blessing that if we didn't go our friends and family would wonder why we weren't "worthy".

How come I don't see the corporate lamestream media asking Romney if he ever questioned teenagers in such a manner ?

I agree, I think its why I was curious about this topic. Nobody should be asking these young kids these types of questions.

In addition, while the Sandusky topic is hot, I think this would be a great time for somebody to lay out a rational discussion for the national media on pedophilia and examine how Joseph Smith may have exhibited many of the same characteristics as Sandusky.

I know that would shock many people to hear the true stories of Joseph Smith.

I did plenty of necrodunking as a teenager and I don't ever recall ever having a "worthiness" interview about it. Any ward member who showed up at the ward at the appointed time went on the necrodunking trip to the Salt Lake temple, and those sessions were early in the morning but I still missed a couple of school classes on those days.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/15/2012 07:58PM by Dave the Atheist.

Who knows. What years? Mine would have been about 1986-1988 timeframe.

Before you get dunked rapidly for about 45 dead people who you are told will be standing in the room with you and you may see them appear if you are righteous enough, do you wank yourself because you're a hormone raging teen programmed for reproduction through hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution? If you do get some relief from the perpetual boner and constant thoughts of sex through pulling yourself off, you should feel like a piece of human garbage, and if you're smart and don't want any repercussions, you should learn to lie about it, and at home you should learn to jerk off fast so there is less chance of being caught, thus creating the problem of premature ejaculation in adulthood. If you want to be a good boy, you really should try and never think of sex (fighting millenia of evolution), and let your nuts swell up with sperm until you are in pain, and your prostate feels like someone's stabbing you up the arse with a bread knife. One day you will have a dream and wake up covered in semen. You should feel guilty and ashamed of the dream, and the filthy mess you made. You should hide it somehow, pushing the confusion of what happened and the guilt deep, deep down into a portion of your brain that will one day fly open during a depressive episode or breakdown. You should also remember the church is true and it is the only way to eternal happiness.

Very Well stated. I opted to just lie to the bishop. I never felt like he held any real sway over me anyway. I don't regret that choice.

As I've stated, I was the kid who was interested in the Telestial Kingdom right from the start. What do I care about tithing and all the other things required for the Celestial Kingdom.

I had a single never married friend who was a college professor. She was in her early 50's. The bishop asked her the big M question. She asked him if he was her gynecologist. He said no, and she told him that only her gyno knew for sure. I thought her answer was funny.

She was extremely insulted that he asked her that.