Someone requested this sotry, and I love it so much that I must oblige anyone who asks for it. I cannot remember if I posted under annonnn or Anyssa, but I'm the same person either way, so it doesn't matter.

It was high council Sunday, and it was my ward's turn to hear from the biggest boor in the entire stake - possible even in the entire church. The man loved the sound of his own voice as no one I'd ever known before or have ever known since.

As if hearing from the oaf himself wasn't enough of a treat, he brought his entire familty along to enlighten us. He peaked at something like nine kids, but at that time there were only five little boors. First we heard from Sister Boor. It was High Councilor from he!!'s job to manage his offspring while his wife spoke. He was failing miserably, and everyone, including the bishop, was reveling in his inability to control his offspring, knowing well that it wouldn't slow him in fifteen or so minutes when he rebuked everyone pressent for their miserable performances as Latter-day Saint parents and children.

High Councilor Boor was holding a screaming baby and trying to corral a screaming toddler. The other three Boors, whom someone had nicknamed "The Three Screaming Nephites" were pretty much running all over the chapel wreaaking havoc, although they occasionally wandered close enough to take a poke at either their father or one of their two screaming siblings. A group of those present discussed this incident about a week ago, and two people insist that the oldest child actually turned the organ on and played it until the organist pulled the plug. I don't actually remember it that way, but I do remember one of the kids banging on the piano. At some point in the course of Sister Boor's talk, one of the three eldest children reached into baby's diaper bag and pulled a Kotex out of the bag. He peeled off the protective strip of the adhesive and stuck it to the top of his father's head. It was a large white Kotex mohawk. High Councilor thought the kid was merely patting him on the head. He never reached up to check what was on his head since he apparently thought nothing was. He was still quite busy with his screaming baby and toddler.

Next, Sister Boor finished her talk, which no one even tried to hear, and walked to the piano. She somehow persuaded The Three Screaming Nephites to stand near the piano and to sort of sing along with her as she played a typically redundant primary song. No one remembers what song, because everyone was too busy watching the High Councilor with his large white Kotex mohawk.

When Sister Boor finished playing the piano, she quickly grabbed the two youngest screamers and headed to the cry room, in her apparent embarrassment never even looking up to see what was on her husband's head.

So High Councilor Boor approached the podium and started with a rather lame joke. he was known for his lame jokes. Everyone laughed, which was a change from the norm for him, though not at the joke. Encouraged by the laughter, the boor continued to tell joke after joke, at which we all continued to laugh, until the time was nearly expired, at which time he had to hurriedly squeeze in a condensed version of the monthly message.

High Councilor Boor sat down with a huge grin on his face, thoroughly pleased with himself and with the congregation because of the appreciative reception his jokes and his talk had gotten. As the strains of the closing hymn began, his wife returned to the chapel with two sleeping babies. Looking at him as she took her place on the stand, she whispered something. Then one of the Three Screaming Nehpites peeled the Kotex off his father's head and handed it to him, thorougly displacing (thouh not outrightly removing) his father's toupee in the process. We, the youth, and probably the adults as well, had all long suspected that his hair wasn't real, but he so frequently boasted of his full head of hair that no one knew for certain. Until that day.

From that day until this very day, he was known throughout the stake and beyond as Kotex Head. Little kids who weren't even born in the decade of the incident now refer to him as such.