I was playing a board game on the floor with three of my five boys the other day when there was a knock at the door. It was the missionary "elders" who are 11 years my junior visiting all the inactive families in our northern Utah neighborhood.

I'm usually pretty polite and chatted with this kid but didn't invite him in. He asked me if we would join them at sac mtg this week and I said no. He was getting ready to go, and then tried this gem, "You know, Brother _____ families are something VERY important to US." Kind of implying that because I don't drag my wife and kids to church that family wasn't important to me!

That got me upset; "Yeah, me too," I said, "So if you don't mind I'm going to get back to playing a game with my kids instead of standing here talking to you!" Then I shut the door in his face.

Didn't peek to see if he dusted us or not... ;)

Wow, that's pretty awesome! I bet that kid will not forget your retort anytime soon. Well done!

I would have invited them for a cold drink, and told them to blow off part their day by joining the game.

But if you guys were into a heavy game of Risk, and you were about to turn in your cards (with two extra armies for owning Western Australia), I perfectly understand.

Excellent handling of that situation.

I hate that "family is important to us" like anyone else doesn't value their own family. So arrogant, eh?

(Great screen name!)

Thanks guys! I'm new to this board and I like hearing what people have to say and knowing there's other people like me. Kinda just stayed under the radar for years and technically am still a member.

My resignation will be in the mail the day I bury my last living parent tho...

Now I feel like maybe some of the people I see on the street that are obviously Mormon might be posting here in secret and actually feel like I do! I have a weird hope that my dad is on here and doesn't actually believe all this silly junk. I feel like my parents are too smart for Mormonism!

+1 on the screen name. Excellent!

Mormons are all about family...in the next life. In this life, not so much.

Some have way too many to properly care for their physical needs--let alone their emotional and mental needs--but they have done their duty by multiplying and replenishing the earth.

Most pawn off much of the rearing of their children to nursery leaders, Primary teachers, YM/YW leaders, babysitters, etc., while the parents are off taking care of someone else's kids because of those same callings.

Parents are exhausted from Mormon busy work and playing a board game would be their last priority when the Lord's toilets are waiting to be cleaned at the ward building. Now THAT is a fun family activity that the kids will cherish.

Nimrod Von Korihor, I hope your kids overheard the conversation. It feels good to kids to know they are a priority to their parent(s). I heard a comedian say that he grew up feeling like he was a bother to his parents and that they really didn't want him but were putting up with his presence. He said his priority in his interactions with his kids is to let them know he is thrilled they are around and that he loves being their dad. It would be a nice change if the TheBrethren emphasized that instead of having a gaggle of kids members can't afford.

How do you know he was a virgin?

I think what the OP is trying to convey when he says '19 year old virgin' is that this is a person who has ZERO experience as a parent. It was like saying he was still 'wet behind the ears' - young and inexperienced.

Thank you for your opinion. Are you a professional translator, or is it just an irritating hobby?

1. You are welcome.
2. If you understood the sarcasm in the OP, why did you ask the question?

Re.2, What? Are you having a conversation in your head that I'm missing? Did we have a discussion about the OP's sarcasm? Is it me? Do clouds sleep? Why is water brown?

You asked a question and then got pissy when I 'translated' it for you? Why?

Are you the OP?

I used to think that was pretty much a given. However, since reading a few of the stories on this board ... perhaps not.

Why can't we assume that most missionaries are virgins?

I love this!

Isn't it ironic that a 19 year old who is living in a bubble will try to be your travel agent on a guilt trip about families.

Though yours was probably the best one in this situation, other things that we could say in reply to "families are important to us" nonsense.

1. Did you get to call your father for father's day?
2. Did you get to call your mother on mother's day?
3. Did you get to go home for Grandpa's funeral? (My cousin didn't)
4. Is that why women are encouraged to divorce men who leave?

T-Bone

GREAT phrase, LOL!

And Nimrod Von Korihor, FANTASTIC moniker!

Kudos to you for imparting wisdom to the missionary bimbo.

Awesome retort!

Well done, sir. Well done.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqFp7LOVNxY

Did it go anything like that?

Hehehe

Way to think on your feet! You could also have asked him if families are so important to you, why aren't you with them? Why can't you call them? But I like your response better because it made the point clear and didn't leave room for further discussion.

Actually, you went rather easy on the lad ...

I'm sure the kid didn't mean to offend you. Seems like people on here see everything in the worst light possible. Missionaries are taught to find common ground with the people they are out teaching. He probably saw you playing with your kids and thought that family was obviously important to you. Stop being a pansy and taking offense so easily.

"Missionaries are taught to find common ground with the people they are out teaching."


Teaching?

How about: manipulating ...

"Stop being a pansy and taking offense so easily."


Howzabout you stuff your little ad hominem where the sun don't shine?

This is your only post in 30 days, at least under this moniker and you call the OP a "pansy"? Who is "taking offense so easily"? I believe it is you.

The missionary was attempting to shame the OP. His comment about families being important came *after* the OP declined to take his kids to church. The OP read the situation correctly and responded accordingly. The missionary was being an ass, not finding common ground.

You're being an ass, too, by the way. Pansy.