Hi. I was just hoping to get some feedback from people. I left the church when I was seventeen. My family is still heavily invested in the Church; bishop brother, temple worker father, brother profiled for "I'm A Mormon" campaign, etc. Anyway, I do know that my family members have to state whether they associate with apostates during their temple recommend interview. I'm assuming they either don't talk about me or just say that they have an inactive sister, although I have been frank about the fact that I don't believe.

Has this been an issue for anyone? Has anyone been in a position where their family has been forced to choose between getting a temple recommend and associating with their apostate family member?

I guess I'm just trying to get a feel for how much of a risk I am taking when I voice my criticisms of the Mormon Church. I started up a blog about a month ago, which is starting to attract quite a lot of traffic, including TBMs. I am writing anonymously (and trying my hardest to be as fair and objective as possible) but there is still the worry that I may be outed and my family will be forced to choose between their daughter and their church.

Anyway, I would really appreciate any perspectives on the matter.

Thank you so much.

I think the admonition not to associate with apostates was meant in the sense that you shouldn't associate with polygamous groups. There probably are Mormons who interpret it to mean ex Mormons, but from my experience that isn't the norm if it means they can't see family who have left.

Give 'em hell! And I'd Like To chk out Your blog. Leave a link or email me.

Hi untarded. I wasn't quite sure how to get your e-mail, I'm new to this forum and not quite sure how everything works. My blog is at postmormongirl (dot) blogspot (dot) com. I also cross-post my stuff to Open Salon.

postmormongirl.blogspot.com

I agree that the question is about polygamous groups, however, Mormonism itself is a polygamous group. It was in the past, will be in the future, and is currently. Oaks for instance, is eternally sealed to two women.

So the correct answer to the questions is yes.
Of course the correct answer won't get you a temple recommend.

The "associate with apostates" question hales back to the early days when the church was claiming to have abandoned polygamy but was secretly practicing it underground.

This lead to a lot of Mormons who were polygamists who believed in living the "principle." Since the Church said one thing but did another a lot of Mormons had one foot in the Church and another in the polygamous underground.

When, sometime around 1911 and after, the Church actually DID stop polygamy--actually did fit their actions to their claims--this left a lot of people in limbo. There were a lot of close ties between the polygs and the "orthodox" Mormons. Polygs were making inroads by quoting former prophets to their "orthodox" friends and leading a lot of orthodox Mormons into becoming secret polygamist sympathizers.

This lead to people lending temple recommends to polygamous friends who wanted to be able to have their endowments. The question about associating with apostates came from this situation. The original wording made it clear what was meant. Now that the polygs and the orthodox Mormons have become a lot more separate, they keep the question around just to (A) scare people into not looking outside the cult and (B) as a kind of "catch all" question that can be molded to fit whatever situation the bishop wants it to fit.

I went to very liberal universities (Berkeley, Ann Arbor) and when I was asked the association question (sometimes from a bishop who was a prof at the u), I often said that I did, I associated with the campus on a regular basis. That's what passed for my silly TBM humor. Pathetic now I know, but hey...

I asked my TBM brother, who was a bishop at the time, how he was able to continue to associate with me - in a very friendly and warm way, always - in light of that recommend question. He quickly responded, "But you're my BROTHER!!" and implied that the question does not apply to apostate family members.

Notice that the question includes an inquiry whether you *sympathize* with apostate groups.

Your brother sounds like a nice guy.

I don't think it means you can't be around apostates ever or be nice to them. You just can't support them in any apostate activities they may be engaged in.

Someone explained it to me that by apostate, they don't just mean your random, harmless inactive. They mean the sort of people who actively work to tear down the church, writing books, handing out leaflets on temple square, spreading stuff on the internet etc. Basically, the Steve Benson - Martha Beck - Shawn McCraney - Utah Lighthouse Ministry level of informants. If you just leave and keep your mouth shut, this question doesn't apply to you. In other words, if you leave but don't try to take anyone else with you, then your parents can love you all day long. But if you try to get others to leave, then you start getting into the "dangerous apostate" category. How successful you have to be at getting others to leave before you get busted by your bishop and/or your family decides they can't associate with you probably is up to the discretion of the individual ward/stake leaders. Like so much else in Mormonism.

When I left, DH asked Bishop Jackwagon and the first minion what he should do and both of them, on two separate occasions, both individually told him "As long as she isn't participating in any anti-Mormon activities, you can keep her and try to love her back into the church." The implication being "Keep your wife in line or you'll have to kick her to the curb." Freakin' idiots.

There is no concern about associating with apostates these days re: temple recommend unless the person joined some group that actively preaches against the LDS Church or they published something that could be considered against the LDS Church. All of which has happened.

I can't imagine a bishop or stake presy being concerned about apostate members of the family and usually familial associations.

See baura's post above. He outlined the topic very well.

The question is about apostate groups, not individuals.

For example being an active member of this board would probably disqualify you.

Being friends with apostates isn't what the question means.

In essence this question is meant to be an "conflict of interest" question - are you a member of a group that conflicts with the LDS church?

I asked my bishop if sympathizing with Democrats made me guilty.

Well to his credit he just laughed.

I never took the question to mean do I even know anyone who is an apostate.
Well now I'm proud to say I wouldn't even get that far into the interview!
"1. Do you believe in God the eternal father, his son Jesus Christ, and in the holy ghost?" No, no, and no.
What a timesaver.

Never even got close to having that interview, but it would have been interesting to see if I could have bull$hitted my way through it like I did with the SP to get ordained an elder....