I have talked to several mormons over the years, and they have admitted things don't make sense, or they don't agree with this or that. Many of them I get the feeling they do not really believe. For some it is hard to escape what you are raised in. Many can't comprehend life without the church. It is all they know, and even though deep down they know it is not true, it is just so much part of their life they cannot give it up.

Reliable church-friendly sources say about 75% of claimed membership is totally inactive. Well, maybe that percentage can be applied to active Mormons. Maybe 75% of active Mormons are in some stage of disbelief, would rather not be there, but go for family or social reasons.

I still go despite not believing in it all anymore. For 2 reasons: to keep my TBM wife happy and because my job is tied to the church in a way. I wish I didn't have to go. I feel like a total hypocrite being there. Once I finish school and change careers I plan on bailing completely, though.

weaverone,

You are not a hypocrite. You have been painted into a corner, but you were not the painter. By going to the morg you are preserving your marriage and income. As you have said, it's a temporary situation. So you are doing what you need to do. Blame the morg, not yourself.

Thanks, Canadianfriend.

I'm still going, too, though not every week. I just haven't got up the courage to really quit yet, due to my wife and family...

You always do what you have to. The guilt is on them, not you. You're doing just fine.

I have a couple relatives that have told they don't believe. They will openly discuss just about anything church related.

They still go to church because he has so many members that are customers, and because everyone (except me) that they are related to are nazi mormons, including their kids.

>>>I still go despite not believing in it all anymore. For 2 reasons: to keep my TBM wife happy and because my job is tied to the church in a way. I wish I didn't have to go. I feel like a total hypocrite being there. Once I finish school and change careers I plan on bailing completely, though.<<<

This is about where I am. And although I am not in a situation where my job is directly tied to the church, in a community sense, it does.

One thing I've observed is it seems the laziest most fringe ones that you would think don't believe seem to often be the firmest believers.

I bet part of that is b/c being on the fringe keeps them from diving into doctrine. You can't have problems with certain doctrine if you have no idea it exists. It's the TBMs who get cog diss when happen across a fact or idea that contradicts the BoM or the Prophet or something.

The Mormon church is like the tower card in the tarot deck. If it falls a lot of people will along with it. It's like the nobles back in the day. I kept getting that card. The ten of pentacles and the six of cups also. ten of pentacles means to adhere to your group of well-loved souls... don't destroy them, which I almost could have and it would destroy me as well, which it was starting to. The six of cups is meaning the problem didn't start with me. The death card kept popping up too, that means cut the cords with my emotional past, it is keeping me in the past which causes sickness and delusion. I have a feeling that this is going to take a long time to cleanse this fake church JS started. So many people are all wrapped around it in knots and fake realities. It's going to take a lot of people coming together in a loving way, being Uranium, full of brotherhood, and forgiveness. I don't know how it will happen but it needs to. The madness needs to stop. Will it in our lifetimes? Can we plant the seeds for the next generation? Are we strong enough? Will they be?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/26/2012 04:51PM by holistic.

What surprised me is that, after my apostasy became known, other Mormons felt comfortable in opening up to me about their unbelief. One of my good friends is an atheist who teaches Gospel Doctrine every Sunday. Go figure.

I have no idea what the numbers are, but there are definitely more than a few closet unbelievers out there.

My three favorite gospel doctrine teachers were members without testimonies, as they confided to me. They were great teachers, thinking outside the box. In the end, two left the church. The third is still active. Too many family ties.

A LOT!

Before I stopped attending church I would look around the entire time for any glimpse of disbelief. Hoping to catch an eye roll or something. I disappointingly never saw it. The reason I was looking was because of all the disbelievers here at RFM that still attend.

I'm pretty sure it is a good amount though.

I stuck around mostly for the social life, and I can tell a lot of other people do it for the same reasons. Where I live the Mormon Church determines your social (and sometimes economic) status, so I can see why many would pretend.

I still go sometimes because of TBM DW. Sick of it, though. I'm doing the slow tapering-off thing so it won't be such a shock to everyone. Gritting teeth fo now.

"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts"

William Shakespeare

based on some conversations I've had with people I know in real life since leaving in the past year and things I've read on this board...i think a LOT more people than I ever would have guessed

Being mormon removes the ability to have courage. So often I hear the analogy of the wizard of Oz related to mormonism. It's usually about the man behind the curtain.

But the pews are overflowing with cowardly lions that want courage, but are terrified of actually getting it. They have been taught that to have courage is a sin. Courage will lead to their eternal damnation. Overcoming that powerful message is terrifying.

The rest of the story is there too. I can see so many dancing down the road in total submission singing "If I only had a brain". They do have one, they've been taught to not use it.

Others have shut down their hearts. They cannot allow anyone in that might have any opposing views. They will ban those people out of their lives, no matter the devastation. They are heartless.

They are and have been controlled by the man behind the curtain.

Imagine the power if all those fringe people stood up against the church and left at once.

Imagine.

No one here is going to hate me if I say that I choose to support the good aspects of the church while making it clear that I disagree with Mormon culture?

I still go as does my wife, and neither of us believe. I find that although the church isn't true, it does teach good principles, and has many positives (there are of course negatives too, but I find in my life the positives outweigh the negatives). We will probably continue going throughout our lives, but will probably not be "model" members. I have no desire to go out and party and do everything I couldn't do as a TBM, but things like paying 10% of my income to the church (although I will and do continue to donate some), home teaching, and very time intensive callings, we will likely avoid.

I stopped believing when I was in high school and living at home, which made for a pretty awkward situation. So I attended for a full year as a closet apostate. I reached the end of my rope at the start of my senior year; there was a pretty bad situation involving the bishop, his family, and the seminary class.

I have discovered that a great number of people are going "without" believing in the first place. Some joined TSCC because they could go to BYU with low tuition; some joined to get the contracts they would otherwise not able to get; some joined to obtain US citizenship through marriage. And the list can go on and on.

These people go and will continue to go without believing anything that TSCC preaches.

I had to attend for about 6 months too until I turned 18 and left home. It was hard. My last bishop's interview was horrible and I felt so alone. I didn't know a single person who had left the church or was attending as a non-believer. There should be some sign or special handshake for those who attend as non-believers so that people like me know where to find help. Of course nowadays there is the internet.

I personally know a few people who work for TSCC, and they are still going either for their TBM spouses or for their jobs.

One of them has been trying to find another job, but the wife would not let him and said that working and sacrificing for TSCC is much better and worthwhile then working for money and material gains. Plus, one of his parents is currently suffering from terminal illness. So, all in all, he is miserable. But he told me that he finds comfort in reading Psalms and the Gospels. But it is very, very difficult for him to bear his testimony on F and T Sunday, and it has caused his wife to suspect that his testimony has been "shaken."

I guess people still go without believing for various reasons, but I feel for those who have to stay in TSCC for their TBM spouses and for their jobs.

I really, really wish more people would leave and be vocal. It would give us more credibility. My tbm family knows no other apostates (besides me and dh). The only people they know to have left have been a couple of my cousins who left "to sin". I cant wait for the day that every member knows many people that have left. I really cant understand staying when I realized I didn't believe. But then again I was not getting anything from church, absolutely nothing except an extra dose of cog dis and guilt. As soon as I stripped myself of that by researching everything, there was absolutely no reason to stay.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/27/2012 04:28AM by zomamom.

I completely understand staying for one's spouse, but not silently.

I have to ask the question:

What's "cog dis"? I've seen that expression here many times but never understand what it means.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

When I learned what this was it really opened my eyes to what my brain had been doing for years.