An email received today from a bishop whose love for TSCC is only reviled by the admiration he has for himself...trust me, I know this guy!
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Brothers and Sisters,

Brother ItsaCrock sent this out a while back so everyone could check their calendars and make arrangements. Now that we are getting closer to the date, we need to pin down exactly who will be filling the assignments for the XXXXXXXXX Ward.

It is a Wednesday assignment, so it is one where there probably isn't a one of us that is readily available. It will require making arrangements with work and children. I promise you, though, that you will be richly blessed. Among other blessings, the four hours spent cleaning the temple/temple grounds will forever change every other experience you have in the temple. You will feel more at home when you are in the Lord's home.

Please reply letting me know if you have been able to make arrangements and will be able to serve in the temple on July 11th.

Thank you.

Bishop Moonbeam

I think you should reply that HE should do the assignment himself so that he will be ever closer and closer to God as a wonderful bishop should be.

Undoubtedly he and his wife will get stuck with it and his counselors. That happens a lot, I think they used to call Bishops and RS presidents by who stayed and helped out the most.

members like my aunt and uncle. I think my uncle is 80 now. The have cleaned the temple by where they live. They have also cleaned the conference center. That is ridiculous. I think there is an age they say, "We don't need your service."

when you're dead

I don't get why it NEEDS to be done on a Wednesday anyway. Probably just so they can test people's loyalty by seeing who will take off work, which is really stupid because it's those outside paying jobs that allow members to pay their tithes.

I used the word "reviled" instead of "rivaled" in my post.

I'm sure the 15 would weigh in with, "I don't know that we teach this...but the TSCC does REVILE anyone who puts themselves (and their families) ahead of their servitude to the church."

One of the last years that I fully attended, I used my personal vacation days to:
* attend 5 days of scout camp (I was scoutmaster)
* work at the D.I. one day
* work at the welfare cannery one day
* spend one full day (4 sessions) at the temple
* three Saturday mornings to clean the church

I only had 15 days of vacation per year and I spent 8 of them -- over half -- on the church. That's what they mean by, "Do you covenant to give all you possess, and all that you may possess, to the building up of the kingdom of God on earth? Bow your head and say yes."

More like "bend over, here it comes again."

I guess 10% of my income and half my vacation days seemed like a small price to pay for eternal life...

... except that it is all bullshit.

Even worse - I had a boss who would let the men in the office with leadership callings take time off for scout camps and such with no penalty. As in, it didn't count against their vacation time. They could just have it off, paid, because "the company supports employees who are active volunteers."

Meanwhile, I had 5 vacation days to use each year. FIVE. If only the "every member a janitor" thing had been in place when I worked there! I probably could have weaseled out of a couple extra days if I just said I had a cleaning assignment.

Dear Bishop,
Thank you for extending this opportunity to be closer to our Heavenly Father, and building up his Kingdom on earth.

Unfortunately, I must decline as I am in a situation at work that requires that I be there.

First, no one empties the trash, or dusts my office since the economic downturn do to cut backs.

Second, there are 60 to 100 people outside the doors who could step into my position at half the salary I make, but the owners are very loyal to those who have helped to grow their business, and don't just demand more and more, for less and less. Even so, I'm still trying to get them to take the missionary lessons. How great shall be MY joy, when they see how happy they will be after this life. (Sadly they said they would have to fire someone so they could pay tithing....bet it's that harlot in accounting that drinks coffee all day.)

Third, My family would still be able to survive on the money coming in from my work, that will actually buy food, pay for the roof over our heads, and pay for utilities that keep us warm, cool, or out of stocking candles to see at night. Sorry I mean Pay My Tithing, so fasting a few more days(10) each month shouldn't hurt anything.

Forth, My son is getting married real soon, he has set a date and will be in the Lords temple when he completes his mission. Now thats living as the Prophets have taught. I just hope his wife to be will find a way to tell her current boyfriend God has chosen her to be my sons wife.
So if I take time off from work to "Clean the Temple and Grounds" for my CTG ring, I will be fired and cannot pay tithes which will mean I cannot attend his temple wedding.

Fifth, Since your last letter telling us to come to you to ask questions we have about the Church, and discontinue our internet service so we won't be tempted to look there for answers, I have to go to the library to work my second job online doing translations for the Ensign, and I promise my time is spent doing only that for the 3 hours I'm required to do so for the $15 I get. That extra $300 a month (well much less after taxes, fica, and tithing) almost pays for the supplies my wife needs....yeah, you already know about the attempted suicide. My 10 children are just too busy with their church callings to help at this time.

Finally, I used my last sick-day, last time we were asked to do this, and I have none left. I just hope my dad holds on just one more year, or until my vacation time, sick days, and personal time kick in again, so I can at least attend his funeral. (I know it's only June, but with Scout camp, time at conference doing translations, and planting flowers on temple square, etc, etc I used up all my vacation and sick leave)
And last time it was just my recently divorced son, (you know the one that had to divorce cause his wife questioned the True Church of Joseph) and I, that spent from 7 am to 3 am the next morning cleaning, and doing the grounds work because no one else showed up. Not even you, you FRICKIN SELF RIGHTEOUS SON OF A BISHOP. FUDGE YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON.

Sincerely, "Bro. Please use vaseline next time".

P.S. Had it up to here with promises of your Gosh Dern blessings, and can't wait just to die to see if your MLM will fulfill it's part of the contract. Bastards

I never went for doing the cleaning detail. If had, I would have figured
out how much it would have cost them to pay someone, and deducted that amount plus mileage and gas from my tithing.

I always deducted any vacation time spent doing church work. When my husband was scout leader (long ago) he was making about $100 an hour at work. Every time he went to scout camp on his vacation days I deducted that from tithing.

"Thanks for the invite, but I don't clean.". Have fun though!

LOL note how deliberately vague the promised "rich blessings" are.

Feeling more at home in the temple because you help clean it - wtf does that even mean?