Here is the back story: My sister is an ex-mormon, and while she was an active member, she married an Indonesian Mormon. During their marriage, she had been verbally abused and locked out of their apartment on several occasions. My sister got pregnant and ended up filing for divorce before the baby had been born. So when the baby was born, the father got 4 hours supervised visitation a week, in my parents' home under their supervision. Everything was fine at first, then my mom complained of harassment from the baby's father. Nothing was done about the harassment. I was the supervisor about a week ago and he started attacking me verbally. Putting his finger in my face and telling me i'm stupid and i don't know what "love" is (I video taped the whole confrontation). After this visitation, i called the police and they showed up at my parents door step and advised my sister on getting a restraining order against him. She did, and today was the hearing and the judge dismissed it. His lawyer (The Mormon church is paying him for representing the exhusband) is Mormon and the judge is also Mormon. My sister, her baby and my family fear for their lives. We don't know what to do next. My question is; I have video of him (Indonesian Mormon) not acting very moral, attacking me and my sister and their baby. Is there any place i can go to show the Mormon church that they have a practicing Mormon acting this way? Or is this useless?

You might consider working to get the weekly visitation held at a neutral setting, i.e. a social worker's or child care worker's office. I'm not sure who you would consult though in order to do this. But I do know that some families handle visitation in this manner.

Oh boy. This is hard. Do you have an attorney? Unfortunately, it sounds like this is a 'who has more money' game to them... I wouldn't even bother showing church leaders the video. They would dismiss you. What's the biggest problem here is that the judge is Mormon. You did not have a fair hearing. Tell that to your attorney (I really hope you have one) and have the video included as evidence in your case. A change of venue is in order.

EVERY TIME the guy harrasses, abuses, etc., call the police on him: it eventually creates a paper trail no judge can easily dismiss.

Petition the court for the case to be transferred to an unbiased (i.e.: NON-Mormon) judge.

Put your video[s] on YouTube.

Contact the local newsmedia.

Is the guy a US citizen? If he physically attacks one of you he can be deported.

If the guy physically attacks someone, call the police and press criminal charges.

If the guy physically destroys property, call the police and press criminal charges.

Send it to the local news

It is a waste of time to try to "alert" them that they have a priesthood holder a**hole. They already know and don't care.

What Mormons care about is bad publicity. Call his bishop and tell him that if the behavior doesn't stop, you will post your video on youtube as an example of acceptable priesthood behavior.

Anagrammy

Two problems. First is the Mormon ran legal system in Utah. You can work through that though. Second problem, it is not unlawful to call someone stupid, it is unlawful to make threats. Even then, it has to be reasonable to think that the person can act on their threats. They call you from two states away, and say they are going to punch you in the nose, that is no big deal. However, him being in the same room is a big deal.

I would argue that him being in your face, yelling and waving his finger made you afraid that he was going to become violent. With the video tape evidence to back you up, you probably could reasonably make that claim. The magical phrase is "he made me afraid." Angry doesn't count, fear does.

The other issue, is that the guy already only has four hours of supervised visitation. His rights are already limited, and they probably are hesitant to remove his parental right to visitation completely. In the eyes of the court, you are both adults, so you should be able to work out how to act as adults.

Smart move video taping the incident. Just remember video taping works both ways. It is your job to be calm and reasonable when he is over, and not lose your temper. I am not saying that you did, but you have more ground to stand on if the argument is not mutual.

BTW, everyone else's advise is spot on, and I am only trying to add to their wisdom.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/14/2012 01:02PM by forbiddencokedrinker.

In Utah, you can be charged with "verbal assault." It happened to my BFF when she defended herself from her verbally abusive TBM mother in a verbal fight. Guess who was charged and hauled off to jail?

The Mormon church is paying for the lawyer? I'm having a hard time believing that. The judge might be Mormon, that is common, but child custody battles in Utah are overwhelmingly in favor of women, Mormon or not.

Other than that, do what you would normally do if the guy was a Catholic, or an Atheist, or a Baptist. If he is verbally harassing you, take him to court and sue for custody. Guys have a rough time in Utah over custody issues so you are probably going to be quite a few steps ahead of him. This is especially true if you have video tape of him being threatening.

It could be a publicly appointed lawyer who happens to be a Mormon, or a lawyer from the guys Ward, offering his time to help out a buddy from Elder's quorum.

True, that seems more likely. Good call.

American Civil Liberties Union may be interested in something like this if you have video and it was dismissed by a Mormon judge. National News also may be interested given the current political climate. Youtube may also be interested.

Maybe consult an attorney about potential legal concerns on your side and see where that leads.

Second youtube.

I will tell you that if that had happened in my home, after that kind of history, I would first have asked him politely to leave. 2nd drawn down on him and held him at gunpoint while I called the police, and filed the charges.

Third YouTube. If you post it there, please post a link here.

This happened to our neighbors. When their daughter's husband began abusing her and their child, she got divorced. When his abuse continued, she moved home, but even though her father is a lawyer, they had trouble protecting themselves from him--until they got him DEPORTED back to So. America. That was a day of celebration.

The daughter, by the way, got a job, and married someone wonderful. She looks pretty--not like the downtrodden victim that she once was. There is hope. We all appreciate you for helping your sister!

the ex-husband being an Indonesian, as opposed to a Mormon. Cheap ass TSCC is probably not paying for an attorny. I'd be really surprised by that. The ex isn't mormon royalty. The ex-parte was probably dismissed due to lack of evidence or rather the video tape wasn't convincing enough. I highly the judge knew or cared that the ex was a mormon. He probably thought he wasn't a mormon. This story is suspicious.

Lock & Load....

I don't think you need to care so much about what the Mormon Church thinks. If the guy's doing anything which is illegal, it's a legal counsel that you need. And it's the police that should be notified.