By Josh Weed's Logic ... straight guys who want truly amazing, transcendent sex lives should marry gay men, right? I mean if this is true for gay-but-married-a-straight-lady Josh Weed...
"[When] sex is done right, at its deepest level it is about intimacy. It is about one human being connecting with another human being they love. It is a beautiful physical manifestation of two people being connected in a truly vulnerable, intimate manner because they love each other profoundly. It is bodies connecting and souls connecting. It is beautiful and rich and fulfilling and spiritual and amazing. Many people never get to this point in their sex lives because it requires incredible communication, trust, vulnerability, and connection. And Lolly and I have had that from day one, mostly because we weren’t distracted by the powerful chemicals of infatuation and obsession that usually bring a couple together (which dwindle dramatically after the first few years of marriage anyway). So, in a weird way, the circumstances of our marriage allowed us to build a sexual relationship that is based on everything partners should want in their sex-life: intimacy, communication, genuine love and affection. This has resulted in us having a better sex life than most people I personally know. Most of whom are straight. Go fig.
...then it should be true for straight guys too.
Basically any straight guy who wants a sex life that's as rich and fulfilling and amazing and spiritual and connected as the Gay Josh enjoys with Straight Lolly... should marry a gay dude. It's the only way to avoid powerful chems and infatuation and obsession and the rest of that actually-physically-attracted-to-your-spouse @#$%& that, according to Josh, has wound up ruining the sex lives of most of the straight people that he personally knows.
You want a great sex life, straight boys? Take Josh's advice: find yourself a nice fag, someone you can connect with on a deeper level, and marry him.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/13/2012 06:37PM by runtu.
My biggest impression when reading this was thinking about how painful it must be for the wife to know that her husband is in no way sexually attracted to her and never would be.
Hopefully she'll realize (or already does) that you still loved her as much as was possible on the level you could--why else would you have sacrificed so much to marry her?--and that it was certainly no deficiency on her part.
That's just what happens in mixed orientation marriages. Maybe the church should be circulating propositions to stop those kind instead. It would be more Christian.
If those two truly loved each other they would split up and let each other find someone to love them in the way that they deserve. They would not stay together trying to fake a relationship that does not really exist.
I think we had a miscommunication. My comment was to Xyandro, relating to him telling his wife about his lack of sexual attraction. My point was that even though there was not sexual attraction, there was still love between them, so that hopefully Xandro's wife would have comfort in that fact. I was NOT referring to the “Unicorn” couple.
For what it's worth, I think a couple that goes through the pain of separating but still works together for the kids in order to let their ex-spouse live a true life is far more loving and courageous than a couple that sticks together even after they've realized their relationship is fake on a major level. But that’s just my opinion.
Based your other posts that I’ve seen, I think that you and I are pretty much on the same page MJ.
It used to feel painful. It used to feel complicated--wrap your mind around that one!?!? Raised to believe men are attracted to women. On top of that, that men have such a high sex drive, it was up to us to keep them chaste.
When you take all the mormon teachings out of it--it comes down to this: I have a cousin who is lesbian. She has been in a long-term relationship for a LONG, LONG time. She and I had a long talk about 2 years ago--and she said, "It shouldn't be about labels. It should be about who you are attracted to--emotionally, mentally, physically, psychologically, sexually."
How many men did I date who weren't attracted to me or that wanted to date me and I wasn't attracted to them?
It isn't that big of a deal--except when looking at it from the point of view of mormons and others like them. It is really quite simple.
I am so f'n angry that ONE story about ONE gay/straight married couple that have ONLY been married for 10 years is being loudly echoed all over the place as proof that gay men can be happy married to women.
Every time I try to write about this I fume. I know so many lives that have been ruined by gay/straight marriages. Then the anti-gay marriage people celebrate ONE couple that MAY or may NOT be able to have a life long relationship as proof of their ideas. <expletive deleted> .
I could fill a book with stories I know that involve the damage caused by gay/straight marriages and they point to ONE that isn't even half way through. <expletive deleted>
While MBB was proudly marching to the rescue of gays with their message of love, another contingent marched, "Gay Fathers of Utah". I know that many of those that marched were part of gay/straight marriages that failed.
According to the man - I'm not confident that the woman is happy.
OK - I'm not even confident that the man is happy - it may just be something he is saying to try to get more acceptance from his peers/family/church as he "comes out".
married 10 years is being held up as the EXAMPLE--
My marriage lasted over 10 years--hell, we are still married. It will have been 28 years in September. Most of the ex-wives of gays I know were married longer than 10 years.
And the more someone tells me everything is "so perfect," the more I wonder . . .
I was just so pleased to see this blog--refuting what they are saying.
they want to portray. How many people will see this story and get married because of it?
I found out in 1983 that my boyfriend was gay and, like your other thread said--almost NOTHING has changed in terms of the lds church's stance on gays. Bridges? These are not bridges. Walking away from the lds church is the only way to make their voices heard. As they say--though I don't believe in the bible--"you can't serve 2 masters."
cl2 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- ... > I found out in 1983 that my boyfriend was gay and, > like your other thread said--almost NOTHING has > changed in terms of the lds church's stance on > gays. Bridges? These are not bridges. Walking away > from the lds church is the only way to make their > voices heard. As they say--though I don't believe > in the bible--"you can't serve 2 masters."
Did your then husband want to remain in the church even after your separation? Sorry, I forget. I don't understand gays or lesbians wanting to stay in the cult, expressing love for the gospel. I have a few close friends who are that way, still in the church.
He has had a harder time letting the "indoctrination" go, though. He will sometimes defend the lds church. He wanted to go back to the leaders to deal with the issues once I knew he was cheating and I refused. He was the ex. sec. at the time. I went inactive and he kept his position until he was released. That was over 17 years ago.
For me--it was a no brainer--to go inactive at least. For him, he had lived a double life for most of his life, so it was easier for him to keep up appearances. I had been told he would be one of the next 2 bishops--by the bishop--I knew if I went inactive, they'd never call him--no matter what he chose to do.
Josh Weed is a tool. "Intimacy, communication, genuine love, and affection?" Man, no wonder I never made it as a Mormon. I can't even talk like that as a joke.
What a great post. Unfortunately, Ashley's blog is one of those beautiful truths that apparently aren't useful to mormons, or any of the religious right and too few will read it. I for one am so glad I did. Thankyou c12.
The mormons and the religious right, they have their poster child now, or should I say 'imposter' child--this one sad excuse for a man, this Josh Weed, who holds himself up as an ideal to gay youth. He suits the purpose perfectly. A Judas goat--who will lead so many scared kids into a sexless, paper marriage, devoid of romantic love and searing kisses, left to ache for a lover's touch and finding only a sisterly hug.
What a great man. I mean isn't everyone's most fervent dream to marry someone they are not attracted to?
It would be very interesting to be privy to his fantasies when he 'has' to perform.
He does not have a tenth of the heart of Ashley and does not even deserve to stand in her shadow. The poor duped fool.
Thanks for sharing Ashley's blog, cl2. I thought it was beautifully-written, and I can think of many people besides Mormons who would benefit from reading it.
I have one big concern about Josh coming out of the closet with this Unicorn Club as he states clearly and he writes clearly in #8 that there is no incorrect path for gay religious to live out their lives, although Josh choose to marry. According to God there is only one straight narrow path if you know what I mean. The Weed's will be harming many gay and homosexuals if they don't understand that clearly sex was meant only in marriage with a man and woman. Outside of God’s plan for marriage sex is very destructive, including fortification, polygamy, homosexual activity etc... I praise God Josh has controlled his same sex attraction feelings and has married, but telling others there is no incorrect path for gay religious to live, is going to harm his family and the world. May God bless Josh and his wife to guide others to the one and only narrow path paved by God.