Something said on another thread reminded me how many TBM's I know justify their Mormonism by saying it has made them a better person. But has it really made them a better person or have they just found someone/something that has TOLD them they are a better person? Have they just found someone who will praise them for doing tricks to benefit the church? You know, like a trained dog who gets a pat on the head and a "good dog" for doing some dumb trick real dogs don't do that benefits their owner.

What if those people would have been good people anyway, without the church's help? In fact, what if they had been BETTER people without wasting all that time on the Mormon hamster wheel? Maybe they just feel they are better because someone is telling them that - rather than assessing if they actually are better. And what if - gasp - there were other pursuits that would have made them equally good or better than Mormonism made them?

Now, granted, there are some personality types that for whatever reason do benefit from that sort of extreme structure, from letting someone else define them, and are better with ready-made friends and obedience. But normal, well-adjusted people are more harmed than blessed by that sort of set-up. I have a friend who is always harping about how the church made him a better person and I can see how it did reign in some of the stupid mistakes I can see he might have made in his life. But he is also equally insecure because of what Mormonism taught him, growing up with divorced parents in small-town Utah in the 70s and his uber-Mormon wife who is constantly cracking the whip on him. For him, at best, Mormonism is a toss up. Is the damage it did his life outweighed by the structure it gave his life? Who knows. I just know that in this one case, at very best, it's a draw. But he believes he's better because his pride is constantly stroked by other Mormons for doing the "Mormon" thing. He thinks he's better because that's the reinforcement he's getting.

Does the gospel make you a better person? IMO, I think it just convinces you that you are better without making as much out of you as it extracts from you.

One of mormonism's top priorities is to carve away bits of one's ability to judge whether or not one would be better off without having to run on the mormon hamster wheel.

Soon enough, a TBM's skills in terms of judgement and perspective are so attenuated that they are barely functional.

Well, i must say that the church was a stabalizing factor in our lives when we joined. I was ten, living with my mom and older sis and our life was a mess. I don"t want to go into details but when my mom joined the church, thing settled down. Mom found a ready made family who helped her sort out her life. It gave her purpose, direction and safety.

I left the mo when i was 28. Mm is still tbm. And that is fine for her. She couldn't cope with live 'on her own'

I don't think it helps at all. I have many friends outside of the church that have never set foot in a church and they have lived good lives. They have raised good families. They have been true friends. My Mormon friends have written me off and not been there for me at all in any way as I have stopped attending church.

Mormons are a judgemental group.

Problem is they believe they are fighting a war against EVIL and that the evil may just win at any second because they are outnumbered. It's the theme of most lessons and meetings that I have attended. EVIL vs. Good....some kind of a fear of the world and all of the evil spirits. Total paranoia.

That is not good for anyone and if it becomes a lifelong and weekly ritual to discuss the evil of everyone outside of your group. You will find yourself the opposite of a "Better Person" In my opinion, Mormonism leads to mentally illness with a variety of problems from anxiety to depression, to paranoid, to delusional, to hearing voices...etc.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/27/2012 05:26PM by upsidedown.

What???!! you mean to tell me that non- mormons don't hear little voices in their heads telling them what horrible people they are unless they are at church every sunday????


Frankly my life has become MUCH better, some of my ocd disappeared right away when i realized that coffee and cigarettes aren't god-punishing things, if you even touch them by mistake because i sat at a table with a coffee stain or an ash tray on it.

I like not having to 'rationalize' to my self why shopping is ok this one time on Sunday or whatever.

The only thing i miss is a group of people to hang with on sundays when i am bored.

...(almost any church, really) is that you will end up a better, happier person. Otherwise, what's the point? "Be one of us so you can be miserable and broken," just doesn't have any appeal. After investing their time, energy and money in the church, members are eager to believe -- NEED to believe -- it was for their own good. So, whee, they're a better person, even if they have no objective context to measure it by other than they do what the church says will make them a better person (but which mostly just makes the church a stronger institution).

I remember a Bishop of mine saying about this one young man who had gone inactive after being baptized and married in the temple: "He went back to what he was." The contempt was amazing, as though what this guy had been or could be outside the LDS church was beneath considering.

derrida Wrote:
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> "He went back to what he was."

Yeah, free.

My TBM son insisted that - whether it was true or not - Mormonism made him a better person. My response to him is at http://packham.n4m.org/better.htm