Posted by:
colonelmoroni
(
)
Date: December 08, 2010 06:22PM
I posted for the first time yesterday in support of think4u's amazing encounter with Tom Perry at the mall. There seem to be some question as to my identity, possibly that think4u and I are the same person. I can assure you we are two, separate beings, with bodies made of flesh and bones, although hers is much more glorious than mine.
We are the best of friends, and have had an on and off again more personal relationship for the past two years. I thought it appropriate to share a little bit about myself, my disillusionment with the LDS church, and perhaps gain a measure of credibility for any future posts.
I was born a poor black child. Actually that's a funny opening line from Steve Martin in the movie, "The Jerk", and not true of my white, lower income upbringing in California. I was born Mormon, but always thought "inactive protestant" would have been preferred since my friends seem to have a lot more fun and understanding of life than I had. We got along great nevertheless, and the "church" in California, MIA and scouts particularly, provided some enjoyable activities (dancing to Elvis music, boat shows at the Cow Palace in SF, and tobogganing trips to near by mountains). A distant cry from the current indoctrination camps.
I never gave the church serious thought until I reached the" wouldn't you like to go on a mission" age (it wasn't quite the expectation it is these days). I used a 4 year full scholarship in baseball as an excuse. My father loved sports more than church and told me there are lots of ways to serve a mission. Right on I thought. I hated the idea of turning my life, two years of it, over to an obsessive and controlling organization like the Mormon church.
To make a long story short, here's the brief version. I must have had a serious brain disfunction while in college, actually believing the LDS church was right after all. I read, studied, and talked myself into believing it all, short of wanting to go on a mission.
Graduated in aerospace engineering, got married, became a test flight engineer in the Air Force, flew in jet fighters, left the service, joined the Air National Guard (later retiring as a Lt. Colonel), switched careers and interests, got a masters and doctorate in education, directed a federally funded early childhood education program, became a teacher trainer for the State Office of Education, and finally a school administrator and principal of several inner city schools to finish off my career.
I am 65, retired, divorced, and the father of 3 wonderful, gorgeous daughters and a nine year old son who died in a roll over with my whole family aboard. My daughters were critically injured, barely survived and were in rehab and recovery for a year. A story book ending to it all except for the death of my son. Something you never quite recover from.
I was an active, believing, but questioning member (driven into the closet with one too many innocent, but troubling questions asked in various meetings) until about three years ago. I served in the bishopric for a number of years, taught Sunday School, and Elders Quorum.
I regard myself as a big picture person, a critical thinker, a reasonably curious and intelligent person. The doctrinal pieces simply were not fitting together. Historical truths were being purposely hidden at the highest levels. Inconsistencies and contradictions were mounting the more I read and studied. No single issue put me over the edge. It was the avalanche.
The shear volume of lies and misrepresentations were appalling. Multiple "first visions", the stone in the hat translations, DNA, mission to the Laminites , polygamy and polyandry, scriptures and doctrinal statements by previous prophets of the church that didn't count any more, racism, Kinderhook plates, Book of Abraham and papyri, and it just when on and on.
How could any reasonable person believe any of it. If just one, let alone many, claim was false, what else could be? How could God be wrong and change His mind so many times about so many things? How is it that His gospel and plan of salvation for all mankind has been only available to a statistically insignificant number of his children in mortality? In the end, integrity and a hunger for truth, led me to slip away in the night, about 4 years ago. It was easy, I just quit. Single and 65. Never went back. No one noticed, and still haven't. No home teachers, no calls, no visits (one routine visit by the bishopric to families/members prior to Stake Conference to demonstrate their love and for everyone. They left concerned for my eternal welfare and possession by Satan, but I haven't heard from anyone since). Made me think there is a God after all.
Well, that's me, colonelmoroni, live and in the flesh. Thanks for tuning in.