I want to start by talking about my TBM family. They are as devout and fanatical as they could possibly be. My parents house is full of pictures of the temple, prophets etc. It is impossible to have a conversation with them without the Mormon church being brought up. I'm sure most of you know the type of person I'm talking about.

But one thing that my parents and TBM siblings have going for them, is that they are totally accepting. They have accepted me for who I am, I haven't been shunned and they don't give me any grief about being an apostate. They know that I'm a home brewer, and there are even times when making beer or wine comes up (like Jesus making wine) where they all turn to me to hear what I have to say about it. My nevermo wife is totally comfortable visiting them.

My sister's (who is married to a seminary teacher) oldest daughter just had a baby and I've been invited to the blessing. When my mom invited me, she even said, "I know you are uncomfortable going to church, but I just thought I'd let you know that you are invited to the blessing and dinner afterwards if you want to go." I know that I'm being invited, not to be brought back to church or reconverted, but to be included in the family.

But that doesn't change the fact that I hate going to the Mormon church more that I'd hate getting a root canal. Also, I'm pretty sure they are not expecting me to come. So do I go to support the family and suffer through testimony meeting? Or do I do what they are expecting and not show up? I have been debating this for a week now and I can't decide, so I thought I'd see what people on the board might have to say. Thanks in advance.

I'd go. They seem to be very supportive of your decisions. Might be a nice gesture to recipricate.

That's what I'd do. I have no idea what you should do.

GO!. Your family sounds supportive of you be supportive back. It sounds like one of those moments that will bring your family closer in a genuine,sincere way. They WANT you to be there.

+1 on going.

The blessing may be meaningless to you, but it's important to them. Go and show your support of their life choice, just as they show support of theirs

Another vote for go. Besides testimony meeting can sometimes be entertaining - you never know what kind of crazy someone is going to say.

I think it would be a nice guesture that your family would appreciate.

Unless going gives you the willies or ptsd, it might be a nice idea. Like going to the catholic church for a christening. You may or may not want to stay for the meetings after Sacrament meeting is over, but this would keep you in the loop with family happenings.

I’d go and show them that you can be a “cool” ExMo and still show support of your family. You can also ask “mom” for advice on a baby gift if you feel so inclined. It’s a small investment of your time plus sounds like you get a free meal out of it. Look on the bright side, it’ll be at a local ward house so it’s not like they’ll try and extort the 10% membership fee out of you like it would be if it was a temple wedding

Go. Then come back and tell us about the funny/ridiculous testimonies you hear ;-)

I'd skip the blessing and show my family support at the dinner.

I hate to have to go to the church meeting part of these "family support" things, too, but I usually go if it is something to honor a specific family member...a baby blessing or even a baptism or a missionary thing (both of which I hate worse than the baby blessings). My family has tried to get me to come to church for other "occasions" like, "It would mean a lot to Mom if everyone came and went to church with her on Mother's Day." To these types of invitations I always say "no," because in my parents' case to show up without it being some sort of milestone I'm acknowledging would be cruelly getting their hopes up that I might someday return for good. But it sounds like your family has gone out of their way to support your decision and let you know you are loved and accepted just like the devoutly mormon members of the family, so I think it would be nice if you could find it in you to go.

However, if you are super uncomfortable doing so, that should also be respected. You can still show support to your family by attending the dinner afterward (maybe even helping with it if they need that) and possibly bringing a nice gift to welcome the new addition.

...or are they?

I would go, ignore the freakshow stuff, enjoy a good time with your family. It sounds like they sincerely want you there.

I'd go. They've been accepting of you, you should be accepting of them. If they're not trying to guilt you, shame you or bring you back into the church, then going is just supporting your family and should mean no more to you than going to a first communion or a bat mitzval, just something you do to support friends or family, even though it's not part of your chosen culture.

Sure it's difficult (on a personal level) and excruciating (generally) to sit through all of that, but just go and pretend you are being bored by someone else's culture, and hopefully it won't bring up old feelings and bad memories for you.

For me I decided to make a clear cut rule so there is no family misunderstandings. So I attend major life events for family members regardless of the religion or secular organization performing them. So I would go to babtisms, weddings, naming ceremonies or baby blessings, graduations for High School, or College, funerals etc.
However I would not attend a nephew's elementary school choir performance so I would also not attend a special musical performance done by a family at church. I would not attend a special day at someones work/social club/etc and I would not attend a sister speaking at sacrament meeting. If a family member was a proffessional actor/singer I would only buy a ticket to the performance if they were performing something I was planning on watching anyway so I would not likely attend a roadshow or whatever they do now. So far it has worked very well with no hard feelings and not too much pressure.

My advice is to figure out what type of things you will attend when you are able, make the expectations clear and then stick with it. Good luck

This past Christmas, my sister (the ward choir director) asked me to sing in the program when I was home visiting. This I flatly refused to do; however, after telling my Mom I would not attend, I decided to go FOR HER... It was an excrutiating hour of tedium to me, and "the best present I could have received" to her.
I say go, it's a family thing. Plus, you have the satisfaction of knowing you don't have to go to Sunday School or Priesthood!

Thanks everyone for posting. I really appreciate the input.
Looks like I'll probably be going to a testimony meeting for the first time in years. Maybe I can do a return and report :-)

And why is your mother inviting you instead of your sister?

I wouldn't go. Unfortunately your family may be supportive of you leaving the church, there is ALWAYS a hidden agenda at events like this, and I think you're it this time.

As a grandparent, I have one coming up and must attend.