http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,510927,510927#REPLY

Lost Mystic started the above thread with a link to baby center.

I thought that it would be fun for an exmo version.

Things I know to be true:

Elohim is as petty as Zeus.

Joseph Smith loved trolling for booty.

Regular Jesus' atonement is as infinite as your public shame.

The priesthood is as real as that invisible, pink unicorn in your garage.

I love my family more than the church claims to.

I know you made my case of the giggles turn into hysterical laughter and had to step outside to not wake up the family...

Things I know to be true:

The dresses only rule at church was for Joe and later Briggy to have easy access.

Coffee is good for longevity

The WoW is more about obedience and showing one's faith than it is about actual health.

Things I know to be true:

Church music is awful.

John Bytheway is a tool.

One piece bathing suits look ridiculous on me.

And,
I spend waaaay too much time on this website.


:)

OH edit addition-

Vodka tastes MUCH better than sacrament water



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/24/2012 12:39AM by ajhart.

-There is NO truth to be found in the TSCC
-The love of a good woman is more precious than gold and diamonds
-My family the most precious things in my life
-Beer and coffee in moderation are good for you
-Friendship is golden

- The LDS church is lying.
- No amount of good a Mormon might do or no good feeling I might feel can change the fact they are lying.
- Honesty and loyalty mean more to me than I ever realized
- Coffee, tea and alcohol are great and I have no problem drinking them in moderation. I didn't become a caffeine addict or alcoholic.
- Life is better when you choose where to donate money and time rather than when you give those things from fear.
- I really, truly owe my kids one for turning out so wonderful because I think it had more to do with their personal character than my parenting.
- I owe Bishop Jackwagon one for pushing me into a corner and making me take a stand for once in my life. I needed to be pushed to save my family rather than keeping sweet about what I knew and he provided me the outrage I needed to do what I needed to do.
- People in general are far more wonderful and interesting than Mormon teachings give credit for.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/24/2012 12:45AM by CA girl.

CA girl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> - People in general are far more wonderful and
> interesting than Mormon teachings give credit for.


Very very true.

I still can't believe I used to be afraid of people. I was really afraid of people in a bar, or any such setting. I thought they were all out to hurt me.. be it physically or spiritually.

You know, when I was in the process of converting, I was talking to the missionaries one day...and I don't remember how we got on this topic...but I told them this: "If you truly believe in the power of the Holy Spirit, you should not have fear of ANY environment. If you really have the relationship with the Holy Spirit that you claim to after baptism, then you can be in the red light district of Newark (which is where I met them), and you'll STILL have the Spirit to guide you."

One of the boys had a huge crush on me. He turned a little red when I said it, but behind his eyes, I saw the wheels turning.

He returned home shortly after my baptism, and we kept in touch. He sent me a letter saying how meeting me helped keep him from losing his faith. In his letter, he said almost EXACTLY what you said, Becca. He told me "You helped me see, in a faith where I sometimes felt so blind." Never forgot that.

Just to clarify, I wasnt in the red light district of Newark. I was in Newark, though. Hahaha...don't be fooled by the name!

Were you stripping or street walking? Just kidding.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/25/2012 10:55AM by forbiddencokedrinker.

This is just fun tonight...


I know I was not made to be a help-mate--and who talks like that?

Relief in Relief Society means that I was relieved when it was over.

I know my bishop was indicted on mail fraud charges (I'll have to dig up the news link)

I know that I can't come home from the marketplace--I have bills to pay and health insurance to keep

Ditto on the vodka. Throw in red wine.

I know mormons are schizophrenic. They can't decide if they should stalk me or shun me.

I know it doesn't matter. They aren't getting past the gate and the dog.

I know I have much more potential then the church says I have. I have found this to be true...

I know "burning in the bosom" can be cured with a good antacid.

I know wine really is a sacrament, especially Macrostie Wildcat Chardonnay.

I know it is difficult to see through golden contacts.

I was going to ask if anyone could recommend a good Chardonnay. I'm going to be entertaining a chardonnay drinker. I'll try that one if I can find it. Is it a California wine?

By the way, my mother of pearl is loaded with buds. Can't wait for her to bloom. It's a nice looking plant even when not in bloom.

I get the wildcat chardonnay sent directly from the winery. They are in California. If you join the club it's way less.

Another good chardonnay is Mer Soleil which comes either oaked or unoaked and I find easily down here. I like them both but lots of chardonnay drinkers are adamantly fussy about which.

My Mother of Pearl just finished the first batch of blooms. It is in the focal point of the garden and it was spectacular this year.
I am so glad you found them and hope you love it.

Thank-you. I do have some time to sign up and have it shipped. I'll try all three, see what I think :)

I know that a loving God would not be the God that Mormons betray God to be.

I know that liquor before beer, never fear. Beer before liquor get sent to the ER much quicker.

I know that the primary difference between Mormons and radical Muslims is that Mormons don't have the organizational skills needed to pull off a suicide bombing.

I also know that the primary difference between Mormons and Muslims is that most Muslims don't take the crazy parts of their religion as seriously.

... beer.

What's wrong with that?

Timothy

I know that if Jesus were a real person, and he came back to earth with $5 billion dollars in his pocket, he probably wouldn't use it to build a shopping a mall.


My experience with lds, inc, has taught me one important thing that I know to be true. And that is there is a war over the most important real estate on the planet: the space between our ears. So guard carefully over what you allow to occupy that space. In the name of cheese and rice, amen.

There's a French song that was sang by Jean Gabin (in the 1970's) called "Maintenand, je sais", here is a rough translation of parts of it. I've always liked it. It shows the evolution of knowledge within oneself.

Now I know!

When I was a kid, high as a grasshopper,
I spoke loudly to show I was a man
I would say, I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.

It was the beginning, it was the Spring.
But when I turned 18
I said, I KNOW, this is it, now I KNOW!

And today, when I turn around
I look at the Earth where I’ve perambulate
I still don’t know how she revolves!

Around 25, I knew everything:
love, roses, life, money.

In the middle of my life, I still learned.
What I learned can be summed up in 3 or 4 words:

"The day someone loves you, it is a very beautiful day,
I cannot say it better, it is a very beautiful day!
….
We can forget many nights of sadness
But never a morning of tenderness!

All of my youth, I wanted to say I KNOW
Only, the more I searched, the less I knew

The clock has rang more than 60 times
I am still at my window, I look, I wonder?

Now I KNOW, I KNOW THAT WE NEVER KNOW!

Life, love, money, friends and roses
We never know the sound or the colour of things
That is all I know, but That, I know...!

Singer: Jean Gabin (1904-1976)
Words: Jean Dabadie and Philipe Green (1974)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/24/2012 06:14PM by quebec.

Purdy and Otterson are paid to tell lies.

The most damaging Anti-mormon material comes from official church sources containing the words of the prophets.

My grandkids don't know who Joseph Smith was.

Hitlers Temple work is done.
Jesus' temple work is done.

In Ether 10:5 Riplikesh is condemned by the Lord for doing exactly what mormons did upon moving to Utah.