My first marriage of nearly 40 years ended back in 2007 as a result of my finding out the dark secrets of Momonism and my wife at the time wanting nothing to do with me if I was going to let Satan lead me into the depths of darkness.

I was quite shocked by the failure of that marriage for just the religious thing but ended up quite happy about not having to deal with Mormonism in my life anymore despite it causing me to lose a woman I truly loved.

I ended up doing the internet dating thing and found a woman and ended up getting married after about 7 months of dating. She did not like the church much at all, although a member of record only, and so my not being Mormon anymore was fine with her but she never really understood the emotional and mental toll I have gone through after being a faithful member of the church for 60+ years and then losing total faith after an intensive journey of study of the early origins of Mormonism.

That, now 4 year very rocky and up and down marriage and relationship, came to an end today as it proved impossible for me to be the person that this woman wanted in her life. My common sense and rational thought told me that was going to be the case from the very beginning, but I let my heart overpower my logic and I kept trying and trying in this marriage, all to no avail in the end. It all is a very long story but one I need not dwell on anymore as that will do me no good.

So now I set forth as a single man with few friends or connections anymore but a strong desire to find what will bring me a measure of happiness. And, I do this from now living in the very heart of Mormonism in happy valley, Utah. Wish me the best in my quest to just be as happy as I can while I live out the remaining years of my life. P.S. we are not divorced yet but now have separated with no chance of getting back together.

Hey, good luck! I found that it's possible to be single and happy if you keep busy and get involved with things that interest you. As they say, to make friends, you have to be one, so find a group with similar interests and be friendly. I'm involved with my county Democratic clubs and it's keeping me busy, especially right now with an election coming up.

Wishing you the very best for all of your life to come.

Number one...don't rush into any relationship...7 months of dating after a 40 yr. marriage. Seems very rushed to me. You men sometimes think you can't handle being alone. But you can. Many women would love to have a person to go to dinner with, to a movie with, etc. so you would have companionship but not necessarily a marriage. Do things a different way this time. You can be a happy person without the ties of marriage and all those responsibilities. If you would remarry there should not be one doubt from either of you and you would accept the past of the other without reservation. Good luck and take thing slow this time. Just chock this second marriage up to "an experience".

I’ve heard it said these days that all “relationships” come with a built in expiration date. Ending are always a bit sad and beginnings are always a bit scary but you know as long as you’re on the “green” side of the grass there always more life to experience , more joy to be discovered and more happiness to enjoy. Leave the past in the past, live for the moment and dream for the future.

Hey, good luck to you and enjoy life alone. I believe it possible. Now you can do whatever you want whenever you want. Be happy to be yourself, no need of anyone else to be with you all the time in order to be happy.

I was alone mentally and emotionally long before we divorced.

The transition to single was fairly easy as I reminded myself of exactly how bad it really was.

I love my home being calm, welcoming, free of stress and eggshells.

I find myself being truely spoiled now. I can go anywhere I like at the whim of my desire. I buy what I want, for good or bad. Any hobby, any subject. I try to treat myself well, and do.

Best to you, I have found single life very satisfying



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/23/2012 08:44AM by mindlight.

Get the divorce done pronto and move on.

Good luck

Seems like it's time to be on your own, not looking for a replacement wife.

I'm in my sixties too and it took me several failed marriages before I realized it was part of my Mormon and societal conditioning that I needed a life partner in able to be happy.

When I stopped "looking for love," I realized that I had not developed talents and interests while devoting myself to cultivating a quality relationship. My focus had always been on my children and my marriage.

Your journey now can lead you anywhere without you having to compromise to fit in someone else's dreams. Maybe, as you pick up your own themes and start living them, you might find a kindred spirit, but if not, you will still be living your own dreams.

Which is a happy life, friend. And stay away from computer dating sites--they are depressing and make you feel more lonely. Focus on making friends of both sexes based on you doing what you like to do.

Best of luck and if someone offers you a job elsewhere--get out of Utah.

:)

Anagrammy

Every breakup comes with some pain--no matter what the situation is--and I assume you'll feel some pain from the past marriage, too.

I was single until 27, alone raising kids for 9 years, and now back in a relationship. For one, I refuse to get married and I choose to live part of the time apart.

I learned to LOVE my time by myself--LOVE IT. As someone above pointed out--when I'm alone, I come and go as I please. I don't have anyone critiquing the way I do things or what TV shows I watch, or giving me unsolicited advice. I love my boyfriend, but too much together time can be smothering.

It does make sense and I really just have to learn to live on my own now and single which I have really never done much. That I will do and I am confident now that I can find happiness in that kind of a life change. I am looking forward to a better future.

My best wishes to you. It's difficult to make those kinds of major changes, however, you seem to have a positive attitude about making it work for you personally.
To a better future! :-)

and do most things without a significant other...it is nice sometimes to go somewhere with a woman and i do so. However i have quite a few couples i visit with and see on a regular basis and i have never felt like a "fifth wheel" so there may be that option for companionship...I get to do what i want where i want when i want because i am single...but there are trade off's no matter what you do. I know some guys that cannot be without a woman for more than one night and that can be very caustic...perhaps my aloness does not bother me because i travelled and lived in hotels 300/days of the year when in my mid 20's to early 30's...

so learn to cook well(it comes in handy for some dates) and be at ease when you are alone...introspection may be easier when not always around others!
just sayin!

You say your first wife was the love of your life. Did she re-marry? Is she still a TBM?

I'm sorry and/or congratulations with moving on with your life.

I'm not sure which sentiment is more appropriate.