So sorry for your loss, a parent can never be replaced. My father died of lung cancer, never smoked, when I was 10 , nearly 50 years ago now, and I still miss him and think of him often. I get your pain, really do, and I am so very sorry. If I was a mormon still, I would probably say something stupid like, "Well, try and count your blessings."
There's an acronym in hospice work - "SUUG". It stands for "Sudden, unexpected upsurge of grief" and it hits me at the strangest times, 15 years after my mother's death. Like at the grocery store, seeing a display of the laundry detergent she bought for 50 years, and I'll burst into tears. Holidays, birthdays and anniversaries still are especially hard. Be kind to yourself