I didn't realize until a few years ago when a recent relative passed away that the church buries their dead in those awful temple outfits. I was pretty surprized and creeped out. Especially after learning that the relatives are the ones that go to the funeral home and dress them up personally. I would be horrified to dress my dead naked mother in her garments and temple clothes. It is so incredibly morbid and I think the church likes to see it as a sacred honor. My dad recently had to dress his father in the temple clothes to prepare him for burial. He hasn't talked about it but I am sure that it was an unpleasant experience.
You know the Patriot Riders, the bikers who follow the WBC nut jobs to keep them from disturbing soldier funerals? Can we organize an atheist version of that, who will show up at our funerals, and keep our TBM relatives from dressing us up in those disgusting temple clothes?
Last year a friend of mine died and had no family still living - only distant relatives who weren't LDS. The church had assigned a couple of welfare missionaries months earlier to help her deal with her dying mother, who my friend had cared for for many years. When it came time to arrange my friend's funeral, (she died only a few months after her mom died) we couldn't find her temple clothes so the welfare missionaries went out and bought her a new set to be buried in.
Mormons will bury you in temple clothes if they can get away with it.
My grandpa had been inactive my entire life. At his funeral he was dressed in his temple clothes, except for the hat. Just before they closed the lid after the viewing, my dad put that stupid ass bakers cap on my poor sweet dead grandfather. I was pretty upset and creeped out. :( I seriously doubt that's what grandpa would have wanted.
I think it's only so much Freemasonry at the root of it. Masons bury their dead in whatever hats, robes, and aprons that they earn during their Masonic years. Mormons used to refer to the temple as "True Masonry," and I'm sure that the tradition started way back then.
Know what's really weird? If the dead person was horribly mutilated or burned beyond recognition and such, they just have the funeral people lay the robes inside the casket on the outside of the body bag. Now THAT's weird, I think. The practice makes no sense at all.
It's so you can change, since those cheaply made temple clothes will so obviously survive in the ground until the resurrection.
The only bright spot is that archaeologist, far in the future, will someday find perfectly preserved Mormon mummies who were buried in just the right spot, under the right conditions, and assume that everyone in Utah walked around looking like that all the time.
I used to freak out thinking that my non-Mormon family wouldn't make sure that I had a Mormon funeral and that my temple attire was on me. Now I freak out at the idea that one of my well-meaning TBM friends might try to make sure it does happen. *shudder*
That was my question - from what I've seen, prior to the final closing of the casket lid someone pulls the veil over the face of the woman deceased. Apparently Mormon women have to spend eternity with their faces covered in shame before God.
There is no set church edict or doctrine that requires that members who have been through the temple MUST be buried in their temple clothes. I guess it could qualify under Boyd K Packers "Unwritten Order of Things" but its really more of a cultural thing.
A friend was killed in a very, very bad accident. The family asked to dress him in temple clothes but the mortician was very blunt and said that he very strongly receommended that the family not do that. The family freaked thinking their dead son was somehow not being buried properly and checked with the Stake President. The SP assured them they were fine, that it wasn't an actual ordinance and that if it made them feel better they could have the mortician place a packet with the clothes into the casket.
kookoo4kokaubeam Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > There is no set church edict or doctrine that requires that members who have been through the temple MUST be buried in their temple clothes.
Not correct. It is in the Church Handbook:
"Where possible, endowed members should be buried in temple clothing when they die. Where cultural traditions or burial practices make this inappropriate or difficult, the clothing may be folded and placed next to the body in the casket." p 81, 2006 edition
I was a convert of more than a decade living in Florida. I had never been to a Mormon funeral. I was called as a counselor in the Relief Society Presidency.
The RS Prez invited me over to her house one afternoon for a couple of hours of orientation. At one point, she pulls out some official-looking book and starts quoting.
Bottom line: Dead, endowed Mormons are buried in garments and Temple clothing. Since none of the morticians in this area are endowed, the family members must dress the corpse in the ceremonial burial clothes.
When family members are not "worthy" to perform the sacred ritual, then the RS Presidency dresses the naked, dead sister - top to bottom. I was ***horrified.***
There were a LOT of little old ladies in our ward who were lone converts and had been to the Temple. To further complicate things, the RS Prez and her Bishop-husband were leaving soon for an extended trip out West.
I lived in utter fear for the next 2 weeks that some poor, elderly sister in the ward would kick and there'd be nobody running the show but me. As much as I "loved the gospel" and "magnified my callings" . . . that was one task that I just don't think I could have done. I was sick to my stomach for days.
Absolutely freaking morbid!
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/21/2012 03:43PM by shannon.
rationalguy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > My will is going to have a request not to dress me > in that sh*t. I hope my TBM family will comply, > but I havr my doubts. ============================ You need to make other provisions. Like talk to a non-mo lawyer or otherwise plan ahead.
Quite often the will is not read or acted upon until AFTER the funeral, meaning you could be buried in the temple rags and then later on your will will be read and people will go, "Oh. Guess he didn't want that. Oh, well."
1. Make sure someone is holding the will and will know of your death immediately with the instruction that it must be read to everyone prior to any funeral. 2. That anyone, knowing of the wish and direction NOT to bury you in temple garments, does so or permits someone else to do so, they lose ALL inheritance and that the lost inheritance(s) will go to exmormon.org. 3. Make sure your estate is sufficient to make sure this is a significant loss.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/10/2015 03:35PM by rhgc.
One of the most fascinating rituals, in my view, is how different groups honor their dead. There are elaborate rituals that must be carried out in exactness.
Yes, Mormons do the same thing. There is special burial clothes for the deceased that can only be put on by someone with a temple recommend. It's considered an honor to dress the deceased.
The LDS are so adamant about it, they will take it upon themselves to make sure the body is properly attired in the temple garb even if the relatives want something else. (Happened to me with my mother - even lying about the appointment time and getting there ahead of me - RS women on a mission!!!) That is now another way the "lying for the Lord" system works. Fortunately, I didn't care about that, mother probably wanted that anyhow. But I did put on her makeup and comb her hair. (Smelled like formaldehyde (?) for days! ) What really annoyed my sister was the bill they sent for the clothes! She refused to pay it, of course!
If it's a Mormon funeral, and the person had been to the temple at any point in their life, they will dress them in the temple burial clothes.
Maybe rutabaga will chime in here and give some of his experiences in the funeral home business!
My mother's two closest lady friends and I dressed her. She was a very modest person and I felt she would have been mortified to have strangers dressing her (I know, the logic fails when you realize that strangers embalmed her and washed her body, but logic wasn't high on my agenda just then).
I felt it was the final act of service I could provide to this amazing woman and it remains one of my most previous memories.
My mother was demented and quite childlike in her last years. I took her shopping once for underwear (not garments), expecting to pick up a couple of packages of white cotton granny panties. She saw a display of panties printed with colorful flowers and insisted on them. So I buried my mother in a white dress, bra, full slip and purple-pansy panties.
I'm Church of England but have great respect for the Mormans especially their custom of dressing the dead. I remember mentioning this to my father about 5 years before he passed. He'd called me (I lived 2 miles up the road) and said, "I don't like the thought of dying and what they do to me". I said, oh daddy don't worry, Id just saw a reality show about a funeral home and they had a morman funeral They dressed their mum. It was normal not ghoulish. I'll said,Daddy think of that, its not strange when the time comes we'll all be there. Oh my heart broke. It must have broke because I've never felt the same from when a few months afterward my father cried bitterly in my arms and said he didn't want to die and leave all of the people he loved so much. Well my heart broke a lot. And I had joy. I had the honor of taking care of my father, taking nursing courses and advocating for him, I'd have given my life. To fight until he was ready to leave my Mum. Then the joy of dressing him, keeping him company , reading to him about wee friars bobby. And I had his beloved Gillian, my wee cairn there as we (my Mum & I ) dressed him.
Sorry Church of England ;-) but I'll take a page from you. I'll take a page from Judiasm. God Bless
gch of England but have great respect for > the Mormans especially their custom of dressing > the dead. I remember mentioning this to my father > about 5 years before he passed. He'd called me (I > lived 2 miles up the road) and said, "I don't like > the thought of dying and what they do to me". I > said, oh daddy don't worry, Id just saw a reality > show about a funeral home and they had a morman > funeral They dressed their mum. It was normal not > ghoulish. I'll said,Daddy think of that, its not > strange when the time comes we'll all be there. > Oh my heart broke. It must have broke because I've > never felt the same from when a few months > afterward my father cried bitterly in my arms and > said he didn't want to die and leave all of the > people he loved so much. > Well my heart broke a lot. And I had joy. I had > the honor of taking care of my father, taking > nursing courses and advocating for him, I'd have > given my life. To fight until he was ready to > leave my Mum. Then the joy of dressing him, > keeping him company , reading to him about wee > friars bobby. And I had his beloved Gillian, my > wee cairn there as we (my Mum & I ) dressed him. > > > Sorry Church of England ;-) but > I'll take a page from you. I'll take a page from > Judiasm. > God Bless
Oh well I might have to sort thru all of this for myself. Seems that I have a cancerous nodule on right breast. Oh me, I dont smoke, rarely drink. I'll see what happens. I might not want anything to happen.
The creepy fad of the family dressing them is rather new. The first time I heard of anyone doing it (and I was active in the church) was in the late 90s.
My mother often had to go dress some dead corpse because we lived in a place where the mortician couldn't. She had to do it because she was RS pres or some other thing. It didn't seem to bother her too much. I chalked that up to her being a nurse in the Korean War. Probably got used to dead bodies. But she never in a bazillion years would have told someone else that they had to dress their dead loved one. It was an act of love on her part, sparing someone else from having to do it.
But I knew of people, even in Utah where the morticians were mormon, who thought it was some kind of special privilege. Whatever floats your boat. But no one should be expected to and certainly no one should be belittled because it isn't something they want to or even could do. It's super morbid and any non-mormon I've ever told about it is mortified. One person said, "I'd say you were making that up but somehow I know you're not. No. You can't make this shit up.
Oh gosh... This brings back horrible memories from my mission in Sweden.
I was in a small branch of about 5 active members and they were all super old. The day my best friend got transferred into my area with me, we had an old member in a rest home kick the bucket and found out we had to dress him in his temple clothes. I had no idea we had to do it.
Here we were with the district president in the basement of the morg with temple clothes. We put on surgical gloves and lab coats and proceeded to pull an 80-something uncircumcized Swedish man out of a body bag and started to put clothes on him.
I grew up on a farm and have seen some really gruesome and messed up things in my life. Nothing prepared me for that experience. I nearly vomited within the first 30 seconds and had to leave the room. My companion and the district president had to do the rest of the deed.
When my grandpa died a few years ago my mom asked me if I wanted to dress grandpa... I was like "Yeah, I'll get back to you on that one." They never messaged me again and I just showed up to the funeral. I did dedicate his grave though.
I've since left the church and actually became a freemason, partly because I wanted to know what they were about and how similar their rituals were. When I went through the degrees, I was given a white lambskin apron that I am to wear in my funeral services... the whole time I went through the degrees I kept saying to myself "So that's why the temple does this/that".
I'm sure my TBM family members are going to dress me in my temple clothes, which I don't care too much about because I'll be dead anyway... but one thing's for sure, I'm going to make sure they put my masonic apron on first... mainly because I want to stick it to them.
BTW the masons also say that if the person is mutilated that you can just put the apron in the coffin. They also have a grave dedication ritual, however I'm not really sure what happens because I haven't been to one.
A mormon runs a funeral home in medium sized city near my parent's house. All of the mormon's in all of the towns use them. A friend of mine said the families like it because the funeral director, as an endowed mormon, who has been a bishop, can dress all of the mormon bodies, men and women. I think everyone likes the fact that the RS and EQ presidents don't get called on to do it. When my father passed on he was a rebabtized but not reendowed Mormon. The bishop and the funeral director sadly told me that he couldn't get buried in temple clothes. I was thrilled. My mother has already made it clear she wants to use that funeral home. She has arranged for her sister to dress the body if necessary. She knows I will not put a veil on her face.
As people in western culture in general now treat death as something best avoided, the Mormon tradition of dressing dead relatives is one of the things that makes the culture so weird. Most non-Mormons if they go with burial, have the funeral home staff dress the person, as it's part of the job they're seen to do. All the relatives do is take over the clothing, usually something like a suit or dress to the funeral home.
Dressing the person was something that non-Mormons used to do before the funeral industry really took off, and in several cultures in the world, the family prepares their relative for burial or cremation if that's what's done. The only weird thing Mormons do is dress their relatives in temple garb, and the creepy thing is that they value women so little, they veil their faces before the casket is closed. It could be said that Mormonism is stuck in that time period when families cared for their dead relatives before the funeral.
My mom mentioned that while visiting a cemetery in SLC, there was one grave of a man with every accomplishment he made on a gravestone that was the size of the casket, and next to him was his wife's grave with a tiny headstone that mentioned her name, and the dates of her birth and death. She really thought the idea of veiling a woman's face before the casket is closed shows that Mormonism says that women are second class citizens from the cradle to literally the grave.