I've been in an organization for five years now. I joined it shortly after I quit mormonism.
It's a community organization, not religious.
It started out as a group of down-to-earth, serious minded folk trying to work out some problems in the community.
Last year, three other individuals joined. They are difficult and contentious, and it's not enjoyable any more.
I'm thinking of quitting the group. It isn't meeting any of my needs, and I don't think it's doing much else either.
But--and here's the rub....

I'm hesitant to quit because I already quit the church, and I don't want to be labeled (or become) a quitter.
I also was employed for two years after I quit mormonism and after my children were grown, but I also quit doing that.

I reason, at my age, I'm allowed to do whatever I want, but I still have this nagging feeling that I'm starting to be a quitter.

(I didn't quit the church, however, because the people were contentious, or because I didn't like the work. I liked the people and I liked what I was doing. I just didn't believe it and felt like every day I was losing a bit more of my integrity.)

I don't want to be a quitter. But, I'm allowed to quit when things aren't right. Right?

My view? Sure you can change your mind. You can find ways to use your time more effectively. It gets to a point, I think when it's time for a change.

On the other hand, you sure can be a "quitter" if you don't want to continue with something. :-) I'm guessing someone told you that it is not a Good Thing to be a "quitter"!! :-)

Pat yourself on the back for being wise enough to recognize that it's time to: quit, make a change, do something different, or change your schedule.

There's no reason to "endure to the end" when there's obviously no light at the end of a particular tunnel.

When it stops being fun, its time to get the hell out of there.

Timothy

So be a starter. Start doing something more fulfilling/useful/productive with your time than wasting it in a group that has gone wrong.

Instead of thinking of it as "quitting," think of it as "moving on"... or "eternal progression"...

How will you ever get to where you are going, if you don't leave where you are now?

You aren't "quitting" you're moving on. It's rare in this day and age to stay with one thing for one's entire life. Move on -- find a better place or just a new experience. It's your life and there's no reason not to enjoy it to the fullest. :)

I agree! You're just "moving on"

People change constantly and what once worked for you is no longer fulfilling your needs. Everyone 'quits' hundreds of things in life, we have to or we would be smothered with everything. :)

Rather than quitting, think of it as creating space for something else to emerge.

Quitting what is no longer supporting you or promoting growth is healthy. It's why people sometimes leave this board.

Are they quitters? Of course not, they are moving on. I left because I did not want to hear another Mormon word after living as an exmo in Utah. Then I came back and re-engaged with a different focus.

There are no epitaphs which read, "She was not a quitter."

Follow your gut and forget about what anyone else thinks. No one, absolutely no one, lives inside your head but you.

Best

Anagrammy

After alot of thought, I quit my volunteer position downtown yesterday. It certainly does not mean I won't find another

It was run by a group of Catholics that I tried very hard to be....hmmm.... invisible and pleasant.

The ladies talking about Nordstroms back in the kitchen got to me.

It was me, not them that couldn't take it. Many many people stand in line to get food while the volunteers are treated to the best of food.

I moved on....something will open up. I can't stand the stress. Life is too short. I am a Wavy Gravy type :)

you're a fixer. If the group isn't working for you anymore and you can't kick the troglodytes out escape as quickly as you can. One thing Mormonism taught us is the organization won't get better with age.

There's no shame in quitting things that need to be quit. Sometimes we have a string of things that need to be quit. Life is like that.

I think one of the big lies in life is the claim that working through sh!t makes you stronger and leads to a happy rainbow land on the other side. Usually it's just more sh!t, and all your new strength is wasted shoveling it.

I stayed a long time at a certain troubled company, trying to do my part to improve things, to shovel my daily allotment of sh!t, waiting for the big turnaround. Coworkers left instead, going to better companies, better positions and better pay. They were "quitters." I was stupid.

Now, I would have been both a quitter and stupid if I had left a really good company with good pay only because the work was too hard. "Whine, I have to work the whole eight hours and be totally focused on the work. Whine, I can't do this. Whine whine whine." But if the plane is on fire, strap on a parachute and jump.

Authoritarian systems like Mormonism stigmatize quitting because because it serves the institution's interests -- not the interests of the members or employees. The institution believes you are there to serve them.

A friend was working at a different dysfunctional, headed-to-the dumpster company. She told her boss she was quitting. He said she couldn't. She laughed. There was no contract, so, of course, she was free to quit. She told me, "It dawned on me. All those hacks and drones she worked with believed they weren't allowed to quit. So they just stayed."

heavens forbid

lol

That's offensive!!!

Totally! Nothing like a good ratastouille!

You're allowed to make changes to your life away from things that don't work for you and toward things that DO work.

When faced with similar situations, my husband will always present this scenario and ask the question that follows:
You open the refrigerator and take out the milk.
Once you've taken it out, you realize it has soured.
Do you put the milk back in the fridge with the thought that maybe it will be good tomorrow, or do you throw it away and go buy new milk?

Everyone realizes that in this situation it's a good idea to "quit" thinking the current jug of milk is usable and to get another. Everything else in your life that doesn't work for you can be thought of in the same way. If it's sour today, it will likely be sour tomorrow. Time for new milk.

telling you you're a quitter.

For me, that judgemental voice my head is usually one of my parents, or maybe the collective voice of "the church".

It stinks when some of those voices become a part of your inner dialogue. It's good to challenge them and let some of them go.

It's a GOOD thing to quit situations that aren't working for you anymore. Otherwise, you'd be stuck and miserable. Maybe replace the word "quitter" in your inner dialogue with something like "moving on".

I think the whole 'quitter' thing can be a mess sometimes related to jobs, communities, etc... Different people function differently.

Years ago I was afraid to move out of a city that I wasn't enjoying because I was afraid of leaving and 'quitting'. I met people who had lived in other cities and they had learned and gained from them. Over time I realized it was okay to 'explore' sometimes in life. One didn't have to stick with everything and that wasn't always the best way to grow and learn.

In my relationship I forced myself to stick it through even though I was not even legally married and no kids were involved. I stayed after it became an issue for my health because I wasn't happy. I thought I was 'quitting' and that seemed bad.

The LDS church really values stability, but stability is often not the most creative thing. Often you hear about a business founder bouncing around from job to job quitting, getting fired, struggling and through all that they gained exposure to things that later became useful for them personally and professionally.

Often you hear about people quitting a major organization where they were in line to do this or that and starting something innovative. You hear about someone quitting something and moving across country and making a big difference. The book "What should I do with my life?" is full of stories of people who quit something to do something else.

I once met a guy who started many companies and would move on to start others. He would sell them to someone else. I think the whole ward mentality can really drill stuff into a person as well - stick with the ward even if you don't like the bishop, the community, etc... You live there, so stick it through. It took me a while to break some of that guilt up.

He started several businesses, all successes, sold them to someone who helped him build them and moved onto another business. He also never attended college and was the most financially successful of my grandmother's family. I thought he was a very neat character. :)

You're not quitting. You're simply realizing that the group is no longer providing you with what you need. That's not quitting - that's moving on.

It's healthy to move on when you realize you're no longer gaining anything positive from a community.

Think of it this way - you'd be a quitter if you stayed - because that's quitting the pursuit of personal growth and challenge.

Never quit growing - keep moving on and seeking out new challenges. :)

If something is not right for you (unhealthy, lacks value, wastes your time, etc.) then QUIT IT! People quit lots of things for very good reasons. Alcoholics quit drinking, drug addicts quit using, celiacs quit eating gluten...I quit taking phone calls from a "toxic" relaive. The only thing that makes "quitting" wrong (IMHO) is when you fail to fulfill a specific commitment that has been made. If you realize that it was a mistake, follow through, learn from it and don't repeat the error. The beauty is, YOU get to choose what you do or do not do. Try new things. If they work out, continue to do them. If they don't, quit. And, don't let anyone "SHOULD ON YOU"! Or even worse, don't "Should on yourself"!!!!

From a spiritual prospective:

God has given us spiritual gifts. I believe these gifts can have "season" in other words, your interests, callings, whatever, may change over time. If you look at it that way, you are seeking God's will for you life by seeking out your next gift.

That's the way I prefer to think of it, rather than "quitting". We move on.

Best of Luck,

S