The below are excerpts from a blog posting of a friend of mine from the last few months or so. Identifying info removed for anonymnity, of course. I need some semi-objective, nonprofessional (free) opinions here: does this person exhibit any mental imbalance, or am I being too picky?


----begin quote----

Made an appointment in xxxx with a dentist due to a broken tooth from restaurant food and was discussing with my boyfriend (right by my laptop) about possibly needing to get a lawyer if they didn't want to pay for it.  I mentioned that I didn't realize it had been so decayed, and said, "They could say that it would have broken off a piece of lettuce. I don't know if that's the way to go with this. Sometimes we get more with honey than vinegar".

On xxxxxxx, the day of my appointment, the receptionist was hyper, jumping around, and speaking gregariously. This is usually my clue something strange is going on, it's happened so many times before. She asked me what I thought of the Dr. Oz show, and remarked they didn't know anything about dentistry. The dentist came in and he acted like an exaggerated vaudeville performer. 

Then he said it: I could have broken my tooth off on a piece of lettuce. And he kept saying it, gauging my reaction each time. He finally added, "You get more with...?" and I finished the statement "...honey than vinegar". He closed the conversation with "don't get aggressive" which I keep hearing in situations like this and I have no idea what that's about.

I calmly left, while everyone seemed guarded, wired and obnoxious. I am sure they were paid. They told my boyfriend that they don't bill, which is also very strange, so it must have been substantial.

I went to the cigarette store after that and got a recommendation from a gal who works there to go to the dental college. There was no way I was going back to that place. SUPER CREEPY. THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR TWO YEARS. I am so tired of it.

On xxxx, I immediately had the mic wire in my laptop pulled. Thank goodness for the gal who made that suggestion. I have spent so much money trying to be free of this harassment, and I got it done for free.

Went to the cigarette store again on April 9th and the same gal who gave me the referral to the dental college mentioned she was going to get her teeth done soon, and that her dentist told her she would have to learn to eat lettuce again.  I said, "Really? Lettuce? He said that?" He must have said this to her a few times when she was there for her to remember it enough to be telling me about it. I guess I won't be going to the dental college either. I did an internet search to see if this was some sort of meme or cliche, and there's really nothing like that out there.

Hopefully that's the last of stuff like this. Someone's trying to convince me I'm nuts. Sorry, it's called stalking AND it's a Felony. Not too smart.

----end quote----

So, who's nuts -- the writer of that journal entry or me?

It's a very strange blog post. I'm not sure what to make of it without more information, but I can see why you're concerned. On the face of it, it reads tin-hattish.

Lorraine aka síóg Wrote:
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> I'm not sure what
> to make of it without more information, but I can
> see why you're concerned.

That, paraphrased, could be your response. Help her sort through her hypotheses in a rational way. It could be her boyfriend who is concerned about her paranoid ideation. It could be that she is being too public on her internet chatter. It could be that the Morg is covering up some offense against her, by crazy-making. A psych prof once said that people who are paranoid usually have a reason for being paranoid, [it is just that they regard their hypotheses as being truth].

She needs to have a good psychologist to help her sort through those hypotheses. Some won't touch such a situation, because of the volatility of the individual, but meds help.

Obviously a brittle tooth can fall apart at the least little insult. Analogy. Her wanting to sue the restaurant is a tin-hatter. Suing the dentist who root-canaled without a crown is more reasonable.

These thought processes sound very similar to those that occur with my mentally ill son when he is symptomatic. I would recommend a psychiatric evaluation. However, if this is just a friend who is an adult you really have no say in the matter. If you are concerned I would have the conversation with this friend's family members along with suggestions of available resources.

Dear Anon for Privacy

I hope I didn't hurt you by saying the behaviour sounded 'tin-hattish'. It is difficult to have a child or any loved one with mental disorders, and I don't mean to belittle the difficulty. I have had a family member with mental health disorders, and I've had relationships with others with them, so I have a little understanding of the pain they cause.

I suppose I was only trying to comment without using the word 'paranoid'. I'm not sure why, but I didn't mean to be insensitive to the very real struggles of those with mental illnesses and their families. Please accept my apology if I appeared to do so.

I certainly hope that the OP can intervene in some way with her friend, who does seem to have a distorted view of her experiences.

There's not much you can do other than alert close family members. Her community mental health agency would be a good referral.

Other than that I would back off.

She is evaluating and then linking perfectly reasonable/appropriate things which have a particular meaning or significance in one context, and placing that same meaning on them when found out of context or found under a different set of circumstances.

ie: the lettuce being mentioned in two different circumstances/conversations with two different sets of people, means the same thing in each one and the same thing to each person involved

She beleves it is the tie between A) the dentist, B) her boyfriend, and C) the restaurant personnel--with her as its pivot or hub between all 3.

She also jumped to the "I fixed my laptop mike so no one can listen in on me" explanation first, not to, say, that lettuce, being soft and hardly likely to break a tooth, is perhaps a common expression or phrase to be used by two sets of people who do not know each other, when talking about her broken tooth.

Her noticing everyone acting oddly, nervously and jumping around like hyperactive poodles, is most likely them reacting to her odd/paranoid state, as a reflection of her behavior toward them, which she is not capable of recognizing in herself.

She may soon begin saying that anyone wearing orange on the subway platform is an alien. And that all the bank cameras are following/recording her every move, and were put there for just that purpose.

She sounds paranoid, and is displaying very disorganized thinking.

I would be concerned. She needs a mental health evaluation, pronto.

Amen to that. But it needs to be approached in a rational manner that is not in conflct with her delusional system.

Thanks for the input.

I'm afraid our relationship has already been strained to near the breaking point. She can hardly be approached about her issues without getting very defensive. She's made several posts on her FB account over the past few months saying that she considers any questions or statements about her having a possible mental problem to be "harrassment and discrimination" and will not talk about it. I mean, who makes warnings like that?

Anon for this Wrote:
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> Thanks for the input.
>
> I'm afraid our relationship has already been
> strained to near the breaking point. She can
> hardly be approached about her issues without
> getting very defensive. She's made several posts
> on her FB account over the past few months saying
> that she considers any questions or statements
> about her having a possible mental problem to be
> "harrassment and discrimination" and will not talk
> about it. I mean, who makes warnings like that?

Someone who, on a deep, dark level fears they are becoming mentally ill?

culture is threatening, especially in light of the blatant mental illness of JS. Then there are all the reasons LDS culture gives for mental illness-- all of which are demeaning, in a culture which breeds mental illness. There you have another double-bind. How can they resolve it without examining the founder?

I'm not sure about the "blatant mental illness of JS" here and never was. When does a con artist (who is conscious of his fraud) become mentally ill? -- Maybe when he starts believing in his own con? But I'm not convinced JS ever did believe in it to that extent.

I am not qualified to say whether the author or you are nuts or not. But I do know that sometimes, if you try to help people who are nuts without taking steps to protect yourself emotionally, that you yourself may go a little nuts. Take care of yourself!

I work with low-income populations, and see a lot of mentally ill people. This post sounds a LOT like my some of my clients with mental illnesses.

Whenever I broach the topic of mental health, I:

1) don't challenge the delusions
2) say something along the lines of, "Life is just throwing so much at you right now, with the harassment and everything else you're going through. I think a lot of people going through something like this could get really anxious or depressed. Have you thought of seeing someone just to help you through until this problem dies down?"
3) to get past the stigma barrier, I always mention that I take medication for anxiety and it helps greatly [I do, and it does]

That approach has sometimes been successful in getting people through the door of a clinic. Of course, whether they'll be receptive to a different diagnosis and to treatment is a whole different ball of wax, but I leave that up to mental health professionals.

I think xyz is right, though. Take care of yourself. It might do more harm than good for you to be the one to bring it up again.

I suspect (as an unprofessional, let's be clear) that there is some Narcissistic Personality Disorder going on with this friend too. She is convinced that several famous pop stars (Lady Gaga, Ozzy Osbourne, others) are using ideas and phrases taken from her personal writings, journals and letters over the years and using them in their songs without her permission, and keeps talking about getting a lawyer to deal with the situation. When asked for details, she's always vague and quickly gets offended.

I have to say I did consider this person a friend for many years, and I am a little saddened that I can't get through at all. I may have to just distance myself because it's frustrating the hell out of me.

Anon for this Wrote:
She is
> convinced that several famous pop stars (Lady
> Gaga, Ozzy Osbourne, others) are using ideas and
> phrases taken from her personal writings, journals
> and letters over the years and using them in their
> songs without her permission, and keeps talking
> about getting a lawyer to deal with the situation.
Woops. No, that is not NPD, that is delusions of grandeur, one of the common attributes of paranoid schizophrenia. That woman is a ticking time-bomb. And she has been ticking for a long time.