Posted by:
Gay Philosopher
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Date: April 30, 2012 08:31PM
When you're really afraid of something--e.g. waiting for the results of a CT scan that could diagnose a brain tumor in your mother and fearing that it will be positive, or some other really scary thing--where do you go for comfort?
A lot of us here are atheists. So is Dan Savage:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADDo5PT_ToIHe spoke movingly about losing his mother, and how, even though he is a lapsed Catholic, after losing her he would spend a lot of time at a church, just sitting, reflecting.
No matter what we do, at some point, life will bring us tragedy. It has done so countless times to those who have lived before us, and it continues to do so.
Do you have a (perhaps metaphorical) church to go and sit in, alone? Do you have some other sacred space? Do you have someone you love whom you can turn to?
When everything looks bleak, and you feel hopelessly alone and afraid, where do you turn?
I've been reflecting on things that really scare me, and asking myself: Where would I go? I remember, as a 22-year-old boy in the grip of a life-threatening illness, going to a Catholic monastery--a national monument near where I live. At one point, I found myself inside of a side chapel, with an icon of Mary. The lighting was otherworldly, and the atmosphere was so peaceful. On the way out, I looked to either side of me, and saw crutches--crutches that people had left behind. They had come there to be healed. They left their crutches behind. The symbolism is very powerful, and it achieves its intended effect: to confer hope.
I can only speak for myself, but I believe that the most profound function of religion is to cultivate hope, peace, and love. If you strip away the dogma, something much more primal that connects all of us appears. Imagine two families that might have come to that chapel--one, the family of a teenaged boy dying of cancer, and the other, the family of another teenaged boy dying of the same. Both families are desperate. The first teenager is straight. He was the captain of the football team in high school. Everyone loved him. He had--has--a magnetic personality. The second teenager is gay. He was reviled and rejected. One misery after another was heaped on him, culminating in a cancer diagnosis. If those two families met, they wouldn't care about dogma, or that one boy is straight and the other is a gay "sinner." What they would care about is their sons, and they'd be grateful to have met each other because it would help them to not feel so overwhelmingly helpless and alone.
When we suffer--when we really suffer--then the petty things don't matter, and we're reminded of our commonality in our human condition.
From a scientific viewpoint, we can say that religion's propositions are unlikely to be true. But from an emotional, personal viewpoint, the framework of religion can provide comfort to many people. Rituals give us something familiar to go through, which feels comfortable and predictable, enhancing our sense of order and, to however small a degree, control. Kind words and an embrace give us courage. They help. These things may not change biological reality, but I personally find uplifting the architecture of great cathedrals, the pageantry of the rituals, and the affirmation of our common human condition as we gather together as a community. This seems to happen less and less due to the Internet.
Human institutions are faulty. Some are based on deceptions, such as the Mormon Church. All seek power and in-group cohesion. But on some level, I suspect that most religious institutions do deliver some form of hope.
Where do you find hope when you're afraid?
Where is your sacred place?
Thanks,
Steve
PS The above scenario that I mentioned--a CT scan--is fictional. I'm asking these questions because life can be hard. Sometimes we lose sight of that. And when it is, it's good to have somewhere to go, something to believe in that doesn't contradict truth, and someone to love you.