Date: February 09, 2013 11:48AM
I have probably told this one before, my second TBM husband was a ready made family. I really did not 'love' him as much as I 'liked' him and really loved his two children.
I was not some type of 'porn' queen, but I knew what to do when it came to sexual matters. I did not lay there on the bottom. I will leave it to your imagination for the rest of the gory details.
I found out my TBM hubby was cheating. I did not confront him at first, I talked to the woman who I 'tricked' into meeting me (she thought it was him), at a quiet, secluded spot. I had previously arranged for a 'special' booth. She told me 'hubby' did not tell her he was married or had any children....they were just getting together for sex with no strings attached. She was appalled (she claimed) broke down in tears as she did not mind having sex with someone (she had about three different lovers at the same time) but did not want to appear to be a home wrecker. I was curious, I asked her about what she did to turn him on, she related to me some things. I basically told her if she wanted to live, her last phone call was to be that night. I went immediately to a doctor to get tested for EVERYTHING.
She called at the appointed hour (7 PM), I sent the children upstairs. He did not speak much as I could hear her yelling. Once the conversation was over, he called me a bEECH and hit me across the face with the phone and stood over me,yelling about how I was 'interfering with his fun." He kicked me twice (cracked two ribs). I think I was 'out' for a while as I remember waking up and he was not in the room. I crawled out of the house, managed to get to my feet and walked to a phone booth to call and old friend to rescue me. He got the call at 1:30 AM, so I don't really remember what happened after I got kicked or how much time elapsed from leaving the house to the phone call.
This was 1989 so the laws were a little different (there was no O.J.Simpson to point to and call a monster), The police were interested, at first, because the death of his first wife (a fall down the stairs) was "questionable' The detective handling called in hubby and was told to bring an attorney. He claimed I slipped and fell in the kitchen, denied the affair (I had all the paperwork that tipped me off). Then, out of the clear blue that detective was transfered to 'fraud.' A few years later, I found out that a command level member of the Sac P.D. was a TBM and the stake president put some pressure to get the case pushed under the rug.
It did my heart good when I found out that 10 years later he did some time in state prison for 'spousal abuse.'
I am glad I got out of that one alive; I felt sorry for his children as they were very nice. I wanted to take the kids with me, but I knew I did not have the $$$$ to fight TSCC, as I knew they would pressure a TBM attorney to represent him.
I showed up at my father's office (he was a bishop), the following Sunday, ribs taped up and make up to hide the bruises across my face (and a temp cap to cover up the broken front tooth), his suggestion "Pray and seek the spirit." The only spirit I was seeking was a bottle of scotch.
I wanted to move in permanently with (at that time my ex b/f) and current b/f. I stayed with him a couple of weeks in his guest room. He was no longer a TBM, but he treated me like I was fine bone china. I knew him from his TBM days, I even introduced him to his wife. We became an item long after his divorce and before my two failed marriages. He told me that in a time like this, I needed the support of my family and adding him (an ex-communicant) would only be bad. Boy was I wrong.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/09/2013 11:55AM by karriew.