Hands, Laying on of: Performing priesthood ordinances by placing the hands on someone's head. Also, what happened when Joseph Smith locked the office door.

Happiness: See Obedience.

Harris, Martin: A sober, upstanding citizen whose testimony is powerful evidence of the existence of the golden plates. Also known for having a conversation with Jesus, who appeared in the form of a deer.

Hate: Saying and doing hurtful things toward a person or group, such as when Lawrence O'Donnell talks about Mormonism. Does not apply when Mormons talk about gays.

Healing: A gift of the spirit provided to priesthood leaders to make the sick and injured whole. When the person is healed, it is because of the person's faith; if the person is not healed, it is either a lack of faith or that it wasn't God's will that they be healed. Does not apply to amputees.

Heaven: Any of the three kingdoms of God. Can also refer to Sundays when all meetings have been canceled.

Hebrew: Any of a group descended from an ancient Semitic people, including Jews and Native Americans.

Hell: The state of being cut off from the presence of God. Not a place of literal fire and brimstone, though some have suggested that it consists of an eternal sacrament meeting with music by Janice Kapp Perry.

Helpmeet: A misunderstanding of "help meet" which means an appropriate partner in marriage; in other words, the woman must be subservient to her husband.

High Council: A group of high priests who periodically visit wards and branches to make sure there are appropriate levels of boredom.

High Priest: Where elders go to die.

Holy Ghost: Either the influence of God the Father's spirit-body (1835) or a personage of spirit separate from God the Father (1843).

Homosexuality: A delusion people have about who they are, caused by Satan.

Horse: 1) A tapir or some other nocturnal, water-dwelling, soft-footed creature that could conceivably have been large enough to pull chariots, or 2) miniature ceremonial animal effigies carried on the king's wheel-less sledge (see Chariot). Not an anachronism in the Book of Mormon.

Hosanna Shout; A part of the temple dedication when an elderly apostle stands in front of the congregation and leads them in a quiet, mumbled, and dignified "shout" of Hosanna.

Humility: Recognizing your limitations and faults. Should not be used in apologetics.

Husband: Leader of the home, as permitted by the wife.

Hyde, Orson: Apostle who dedicated the land of Palestine for the gathering of Israel while Joseph Smith was having sex with Orson's wife back in Nauvoo.

Hymns: Music sung in church to invite the proper spirit and to wake people up (this is called the "rest hymn").

"Hyde, Orson: Apostle who dedicated the land of Palestine for the gathering of Israel while Joseph Smith was having sex with Orson's wife back in Nauvoo......"
OMFG!!

I love this new historically accurate concise dictionary.

Well done thou faithful servant!

carry on,

that is all :)

HEAD: Part of the body used in receiving priesthood, offices, blessings, etc. Only major part of body not protected by garments. Giving of; not allowed by order of the First Presidency.

Bwahahaha!

HOLY OF HOLIES: Secret room where Tommy can meet and covort with his 'special friend' Jeebus. Does not actually, in most cases, refer to the profits anus.

(How about) Heretic: A member who INSISTS on telling the Truth.



High Priest: a male PH holder who's enjoying the obvious use of a certain herb. Herbs are Good for man/men (and also for women).



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 04/23/2012 03:53PM by guynoirprivateeye.

Husband: Leader of the home, as permitted by the wife.

High Priest: Where elders go to die.

Thanks for the Tuesday morning laugh!

Or something like that.

> Hosanna Shout; A part of the temple dedication when an elderly
apostle stands in front of the congregation and leads them in a
quiet, mumbled, and dignified "shout" of Hosanna.

. . . while waving the white flag of surrender.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/24/2012 07:23PM by baura.