I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety after a few years of living in Utah County. I told my therapist I blame most of it on the local culture, and he agrees with me. His only prescription was for me to change my geography.

I can't right now. Anyone here have any advice how to deal with Mormon-culture-induced anxiety and depression? I really could use some help.

Why did you choose the posting name that you did?

Anxiety/depression is not the same thing as crazy.

Since you have not shared what is the specific nature of your depression and anxiety, how could anyone advise you? Mormon-culture-induced anxiety and depression is too vague a diagnosis to work with.

It is good that you have realized that you need help; that is the first step.

If this therapist has no further help for you, consider a new therapist. It seems like that therapist gave you a rather "flip" no-answer answer.

Unless you are a night worker (like me) you should be asleep now. A normal sleep routine with a solid block of restful sleep time will go a long way in helping someone with anxiety/depression.

Also, give a good look to your diet. I would suggest that you might incorporate (at least some) of Dr. Fuhrman's ideas about nutrition.

I have given you the best advice that I can considering the situation. It might be trite, but happiness is a state of mind.

Remember, to get the answers that you need, ask the correct questions.

Having lived there myself I can see why you are depressed. Any chance of moving? And is this all due to how you are treated by former friends or family. If so, you need to move on. They will not change for you...they will stick with the Church. You are only of value if you are one of them. Knowing this is stupid cult behavior should enable you to connect with other people. Acknowledge they are not good for your mental health. Do not be a recluse if you are doing that. Get out, join book clubs, craft clubs, exercise, go on hikes, one of the best things to do is get outside. Enjoy at least the beauty of the mtns. Good luck to you but I hope you can move and be around a normal, mixed group of people.

I've lived in Utah too - in the west side of the Salt Lake Valley, as well as 4 years at BYU. Living in Utah county may not make you the legal definition of crazy but it can certainly make you feel like you are crazy. Anxiety, depression...yep, that all sounds familiar. I can only give you a few suggestions but hopefully it will help.

First of all, take care of yourself with diet, exercise, stress relief, massage, meditation. Second, try to make some non-LDS friends. I know there is a group that meets at the American Fork Starbucks - I see their posts on here occasionally. Also, try joining groups that Mormons don't tend to join like a meditation group or some charity/save-the-planet group. Finally, find somewhere to run away from home to. Find a restaurant/brewery you love or a lake to sit beside or Park City. Some days, I'd just go spend the day in Park City with the humans. I'd grocery shop at the store up there, eat lunch at the park, pretty much pretend I lived there for the day. I also would drive up to Wyoming and do the same thing. That mini-vacation from Utah helped more than you can imagine.

One more thing, read up on toxic people, narcissists, cults etc. just to help you realize what you are going through and who the real crazy people are. You are in the vast majority of normal humanity and you have to find a way to keep yourself in that mindset. If you understand how messed up Mormons can be, it's easier to deal with them and keep your feet in reality. It's easier when you have a name for the weirdness they are trying to push you around with.

There has to be a little more to your story. I'm an ex-mo living in Utah county, and although it may not be ideal, I'm generally happy with my life. It's not the geography affecting you, it's the culture, which means it's your relationships to other people. I'd guess it probably has something to do with your social/familial situation, your relationships to close friends and family. There are non-Mormons and ex-Mormons in Utah county if you look for them.

Even if you are geographically challenged, you can still make some connections to other normal places. Find books, magazines and online interests that have nothing to do with your environment.

Have the New York Times delivered and read that instead of your local paper. It is time to be "in the Utah County but not of the Utah County". Wow, that phrase finally makes sense.

Last, you have to find the humor in all of it. It's a mindset. Look for the most absurd Mormon moment of the week and get a kick out of it. Enjoy your unique perspective.

That's all I've got. Good luck. I'm not sure I could do it.

Maybe moving isn't the answer. Even though I don't know your circumstances, sometimes for me what really helps is a change in routine.

You can change the people you associate with and you can change your activities. Try to eliminate the stressors. Get away from them if you can and find positive people and positive activities to replace them.

For me, what works extremely well is getting outdoors and doing healthy things - eat well, get sun & fresh air, exercise. When you do those things, you will sleep better also. Those things create positive energy and will help you cope and adapt to a better way of living.

I was a hermit after my ex left for quite some time. My exmo therapist made me do such things as go to the mailbox every day (I work at home). I had anxiety about just walking up the street--so I started driving to a middle school and walking at the track. It was off the beaten path so not many people go there. I still sometimes have a hard time getting out and walking in my neighborhood. I have to psych myself up for it depending on how anxious I'm feeling.

Walking has been a godsend to me in terms of anxiety and depression, but I still deal with it. Do you have PTSD by chance?

And isn't there an exmo group in Utah Valley? I have a wonderful exmo therapist (who gets it!!!) in Cache Valley--but that is a bit too far for you to drive! He comes from definite mormon royalty and he and his very nonmo family do very well here.

Stay on your meds. Follow some of the great advice here and learn to laugh at the crazies. If you don't take them seriously, mormons are fun to watch.

I've been making huge strides toward sustainable wellness doing a kind of self-taught Cognitive Therapy that I pick up from Positive Psychology books.

A standard resource book for cognitive therapy is "Feeling Good" by David Burns. The goal is to become familiar with your common thought distortions and train them to be more rational and useful for you. It is based on research that has shown the inter-connectedness of our thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Research consistently shows that if you can change one it will strongly impact the others. Changing thought patterns' focuses is within reach of most people through learning how to observe and respond to automatic thoughts and emotions. It has been shown to be as effective as medication (with no side effects) in most people, although it can and should usually accompany medication usage.

There are specific chapters that specifically address anxiety and depression that detail which thought patterns are commonly at their roots. Burns gives plenty of techniques that address many different aspects of responding to different variations of these intrusive thoughts and emotions.

Has your therapist ever introduced you to Cognitive Therapy? I would expect he or she is probably knowledgeable enough about it to help you get started. Otherwise I highly recommend just digging into several books on the subject until you find one that clicks with you. "Feeling Good" is a great one to start out with.

Beyond that, positive psychology is about building capacities in your strengths that come naturally to you as your tools for meeting your demands and aspirations. The idea is to gain a habit of focusing on what is going well, what is working in your life, and nourishing them with these strengths that come effortlessly to you.

I like going to Wendover a couple of times a year. The fun bus out of Provo is always packed, and it's a hoot listening to the old ladies talking about their gambling funds and their judgemental neighbors.

It's nice hanging out with grownups out at the casinos. The waitresses are used to people asking for virgin cocktails--I very rarely drink--and even if you don't want to gamble you can go to a decent buffet and people watch. Plus there's great scenery on the bus trip, if you like looking at deserts and salt flats.

Do you have someone you can take a day trip with? It's at least something really different to do.

i think that you are right, i was diagnosed with postpartum depression after having my son, i believe it is caused by living somewhere where perfection is demanded. i'm sorry i can't offer any advice but to keep your head up and try and think positively.

It sounds like you moved a few years ago to Utah County from somewhere else. How did the transition go? Have you stayed in touch with old friends, made new friends? Did you move with as a family or was it just you? How as your transition to work? Moving to a new area and losing social support and trying to get used to new places can trigger depression and anxiety.

I second many of the suggestions here and, as Brian M said, Cognitive Therapy can be very helpful. Burns is really good for self-help. I also recommend Mind Over Mood by Christine Padesky because the workbook format is easy to use.

http://www.amazon.com/Mind-Over-Mood-Change-Changing/dp/0898621283/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334624757&sr=8-1

My son and his business partner were "going crazy" working with Mormons--especially having Mormon bosses, and dealing with nepotism. They started their own company, and they do not hire Mormons, do not have Mormons for clients, nor do they do any business with Mormons. I tried for many years to live among Utah Mormons--befriend them, work with them, be a good neighbor to them--when I was active and inactive--and these people made our lives miserable. Now, in business and in my personal life, I have nothing to do with them. Sorry to tell you, but for me the only solution has been avoidance. Often, I have to go out of my way to avoid Mormons, but it is worth it. I have PTSD, and don't want anything triggering a flashback.

I dress differently, I threw away all my Mormon memorabilia and books, gave away my (polygamist Mormon) family heirlooms and antiques. I eat health food, instead of the traditional Mormon pioneer fatty meat-and-potatoes-gravy-lard-sugar junk. I read a National newspaper, and get all the news quickly in three or four pages a day--plus the business section. I read classic novels and poetry, and belong to a classic book club. I stopped volunteering in the schools, and in the community when the PTA's and City Councils became Mormon-dominated. There are tons of great charities, and you can screen them for Mormons. I work for a National charity, and for a local charity sponsored by some Christian churches. Nice people!

I do not walk in my neighborhood--I walk in the forest or in the parks. I don't do much gardening in my front yard at all, because the Mormons come over to harass me. My fenced back garden is a haven for me. I never answer the doorbell, unless I'm expecting someone. I use the caller ID. Like CA girl, I spend as much time in Park City as possible, and I do my grocery shopping there, too--what a coincidence. People in Park City smile at you! Anything to do with the environment, animals and pets, games or cards, psychology, philosophy, yoga, other religions, fitness, and the outdoors keeps you isolated from the Mormons--even in Utah. I hardly ever talk to one. Over half of my cousins have left the cult, now, so the Mormons don't dominate as much. My children all left the cult. We have found some good non-Mormon friends. We have much more fun.

Never accuse yourself of being crazy--do you hear me? The Mormons are the ones who are nuts! Whenever you are treated rudely by them, please remind yourself that Mormons make up less than 1% of the population in the real world outside the Morridor. YOU, me, the ex-mormons on this board, and almost everybody else in the world are not cult-members. Mormons are indeed a "peculiar people".

Do things intentionally in front of them- go outdoors on Sunday and enjoy your day! keep it still modest and sensible. Play the game of life and beat them at it with out even knowing it. Don't go ghetto- go green and free. I made it through BYU-I and a heavily Mormon eastern Idaho town- which is almost as bad as Utah- super judgmental and I was always looking for watchful prying eyes( cause of my anxiety-- some of it probably). I just want to yell-- what!?? Live your own life!

I battled them by wearing tight lulu lemon outfits- running- being carefree- tried to speak about positive things and leave a pleasant smile- This is when I was still Mormon but never living the principles yet still being a life-long believer- thinking ohh... eventually I will go back and be totally straight laced (never was/did) then I read the truth in 2008. You will feel good to stick it to the man! I would suggest getting out of Utah tho... I would not like living there. i lived in Idaho for a short time--like 7 months- in sister's basement-- in a different heavily populated Mormon city... I was not a happy camper and found it very hard to relate to people. this was when I was 23 and was dating a jack mo from a different/ not the same from high school or where sis. lives. went to jr high in the same city tho that sis. lives...if you followed that. Town to town people to people- very similar.

He was a great guy none the less... and I learned a lot from him as well. The non- members around seem to bow to the Mormons! Grrr.... The Mormons need to be put in their place... respectfully --all weird religions do.

I went up to Mesa the other day for a chiropractor adjustment that a friend--person I know from sports affiliation (non-mormon) suggested to me. They had ensign magazines mixed in with people mags. and such!! I was in disbelief. Ohhh..okay...lets take free speech to the next level. I can totally understand your pain --going crazy!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/17/2012 03:37AM by holistic.