I got this voicemail this morning from my VT who has a son the same age as my 2 year old.

"Good morning Sister_____, I noticed recently that you haven't been to church in a while [really it's been months] and while I respect that decision for yourself -- I was hoping that you would allow me to come by this morning and pick up your daughter so that she could attend church and learn the gospel. Please call me back, otherwise I'll be by your place at about a quarter to 11. Thank you. We'll see you soon"

Umm wow! Talk about trying to turn them while their young. She's two years old for Chrissake!

I didn't even have a chance to call her back before she and her husband showed up at my door. I didn't want to have a confrontation then so I just didn't answer -- now I wish I had

See, this is why people don't respect Mormons. Because they do these creepy, child predator like stunts that show an almost unbelievable level of self-righteousness. I mean, who DOES this? And worse, they think their sinning is spiritual and justified and anyone who objects is angry because they are in Satan's power. And they NEVER listen to the idea that they may be the problem and that their behavior is OUTRAGEOUS.

Honestly, hearing this happened to you made me so mad I can't even think of what I would say in this situation. But you know the VT is going to ask you again. Maybe just laugh and say "OMG, I didn't know you were SERIOUS! Who DOES things like that? That is so messed up." Then, laughing, hang up on her.

I would ask to be taken off of the VT list.

She obviously has decided your a bad parent.

We had a new guy move into our ward who was made 1st councilor in the bishoprick within 3 months of moving in. I have never seen someone more TBM and self-righteous. I had never met him before and he comes into our home, and with a big toothy grin, asking...
"How is your scripture reading coming?"
"When are you going to post your testimony on mormon.org?"
"How is your temple attendence?"
In each case referring to some "challenge" a SP or a prophet made.
To which I responded...
"I don't like reading"
"I'm not comfortable putting that out there"
"I went to a wedding last year"
What I wanted say was...
"Get out of my house you self-righteous prick! And never come back."
No one (home teachers, bishop, etc.) has ever asked me similar questions in my own home. No boundaries. Maybe it's because I am a VERY prominent person in our non-mo community and have been living the NOM life for quite some time and no one wants to piss me off. Well he just might if he pulls that stunt again.

That is absolutely creepy. You're supposed to hand over your toddler to someone you only know because they go to the same church you used to go to? Unbelievable! Are they frickin' crazy?

"Can i take yours to the water park on alternating weekends on Sundays?"

"She can learn logic, fun and atheism from me."

I have something to say that I want you to completely understand -- Lose my phone number! That is an order, not a request. If you EVER phone me again I will have something to say that will blister your eardrums.

Funny how she stated "while I respect that decision for yourself", insinuating that she sure as hell she doesn't respect your decisions regarding your children.

Lost Mystic Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Funny how she stated "while I respect that
> decision for yourself", insinuating that she sure
> as hell she doesn't respect your decisions
> regarding your children.


Exactly. It's, "How dare you make that decision for your own child."

What I find interesting is a normal person would not say please call back, otherwise I will be there. It is normally wait til an OK and then go ahead. That is seriously making me go WTF

Holy crap!

Seriously creepy.

I'm assuming that she'll try again next week...? If you think she might, you have a week to practice that confrontation (if you want to do that). I'm sure you could get oodles of good ideas from people here.

Then again just ignoring her's a definite option too.

(jaw still hanging open...)

I'm still pretty livid about the whole situation. I did call and leave a relatively calm message to the effect of never ever call me again.

When I called my TBM sister to tell her the story and about how upset I am about the whole thing she was not at all surprised and even tried to defend this woman. How is this seen as anything other than an attempt at subverting my responsibilities as a mother to teach my own child and to brainwash my toddler before I can do anything to teach her reason.

Wow... I have read some pretty amazing stories of incredibly nervy behavior from TBMs, but I think this one is at the top of the list of people with balls of brass and brains of protoplasm! I think if I had been on the receiving end of that phone call, it would have made me so furious I would have made a huge scene. I just cannot believe the nerve!

I hope she comes back next week with hubby in tow 25 minutes before church.

This one in BEGGING for the garden hose.

This is one of the creepiest TBM violation of boundaries I've read here. Wow.

In fact, it makes me wonder about the non-TBM readers at whatever PR firm (Edelman?) that monitors this forum for the Morg. Doesn't it make your heads spin, you account flunkies watching this? Don't you feel like you're working for Big Tobacco, when you see things like this? You do see the creepiness of your client, I trust.

Change your phone # and don't give it to anyone.

Appalling. The children of the corn apparently belong to THEM! And you are a flawed steward. Clearly she feels perfectly justified in stepping in.

Next week tell her she'll have to leave her child with you if you take hers. When she asks, why would I do that? You answer, "Because I believe your child belong here with me, where there are less germs."

Give her a peek at the reality of her overstepping.

I have to hand it to you for your self control and measured response. Anything crazy you do would be reported far and wide without including the reason you did it.

Anagrammy

Hey, all is fair in love and war. And since she fired the first volley...

A 2 year-old? WTF? If something were to happen to your child while at church and you weren't there, it would really make you look like a bad parent. And the church would say it wasn't responsible.

I'd go over to her house and ask,"Why are you so interested in my daughter? If you ever ask anything like that again, I will talk to the authorities to see if you are a child predator. Leave my child alone--I will be watching you."

iMO the best thing to do is to make sure they know that there will be sunlight on whatever they're trying to do. The Mormons only win behind closed doors because in the end their undoing is that they simply aren't what they claim to be.

My first post ever on this wonderful site.
Print out ALL these responses.
Black out screen names of posters. Mail list
of OP and comments to BOTH the offender AND
your sister.
Maybe cut up list into individual replies
and spend postage sending one each day, in
different floral envelopes with a cute sticker
on each.

I would smile sweetly and say "Thank you very much, but we don't want our daughter to attend and if we change our minds,(fat chance) we know where the church is."

It's fine that you didn't answer the door. I suggest if you can that you need stand up to this woman. Tell her no thanks. As the parent it's your decision and you'll take your daughter if or when you think it's right for her.

That couple is shamful to show up expecting to take over your child from her loving parent. If fact, with your permission *I* would tell them that very thing and save you the trouble.

Hope you'll let us know what happens.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/15/2012 04:22PM by Cheryl.

Send her an email that says,

"Hey, sorry I missed you on Sunday. We're going to a new church where we've found the true gospel of Jesus Christ. I thought the Mormons had the truth, but apparently not! Anyway, I was wondering, since you won't likely be bringing your son to our church to learn the true and correct priciples, I thought I'd swing by next Sunday to pick him up and take him. I'll be there at 10:30. Have him ready to go!"

Thanks!

Or "while I respect your decision to remain in the church, I was hoping that you'd allow me to spend the day with your child on Sunday so they don't miss out on learning true critical thinking skills"

Yeah... that's not cultish behavior. Not at all.

did something like this to us when our twins were 8. The thing that was very telling is that our son never forgot--though we did--and that was the day he KNEW the lds church for sure wasn't true. They were offended themselves at age 8.

They BELIEVE that we are just "stewards" of our children and that our children aren't our's.

Like others have said, this is truly one of the worst situations I've heard of.

Say this:

"I find your husband very creepy and have come to the conclusion that he is a possible child molester. I do not feel comfortable leaving my child alone in his presence."

By any standard it is mental abuse. To tell a child that he will burn in hell for eternity or not be with their parents in the afterlife, as my daughter was told and feared, is mental torture, abuse and cruelty. Why does religion get a pass on this point? To make a child think that an invisible old man is watching and is ready to punish a child for his thoughts and what he does naked in clearly abuse. It causes immense anguish, thoughts of suicide and suicide. If it was for other reason other than religion, family services would remove the child from the home.

I grieve that I wasn't able to protect my daughter from this abuse.

Marshall



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/15/2012 05:28PM by No Mo.

Save that message! Send copies of it to friends (non-LDS, of course) so you aren't the only one aware of the situation. If you have a family attorney, make sure that he/she has a copy of it as well. Do not contact this woman, but if she ever contacts you again, let her know that you are viewing this as a direct threat to your child and that charges are going to be pressed immediately. She did not ask for permission to take your child to church, rather, she told you that she was going to do it. This sounds like a threat to your child and your family.

What if it was your TBM relative who did this? An Aunt, Uncle, Grandparent?

That would be harder, but a non-relative? It's a no-brainer.

My TBM sibs have been dying to take my kids to church, and came close the last time I let my kids near them, by taking my teens to a YA activity.

It is important to verbally state - No, you cannot ever do this again, and do not have my permission. Back off.

I don't think she's going to do this again next week.

I think she's going to wait awhile until you're completely unsuspecting and your guard is back down. Then she's going to approach in some equally brazen but completely different way and stomp all over your boundaries.

Personally, my response would be to completely ignore her and not engage at all. I think you did well to not answer the door but I think calling and telling her never to call you again acknowledged that she has the power.

I was appalled as I read this! Just say No No No!

Wow.

Resign. Otherwise, as other posters have said, they'll come back again when you least expect it. I second rodolfo's suggestion: Consider the Cheryl Method. If you don't know what that's about, just ask.. Cheryl's one of the board's heroes for many reasons but one in particular is her creative pest removal methods. ;-)

Be careful. Are you in Utah, if I may ask? Or is this out in the "mission field"?