I went to the LDS Women and Depression presentation at UVU and the problem they found was that the demands of the local culture there in Utah County to be perfect all the time drove women (and everybody else, in my opinion) crazy and depressed. They weren't exacly sure if the religion was a major and direct cause of it, however, they did hint that some of it might be related but didn't go into detail (it was a "draft" presentation, mainly to get feedback and opinions from people about their research before they published it).

They also found the most common therapy used by LDS women interviewed for the research to treat their depression wasn't religion or spirituality, but exercise and some form of medication.

I wish these women the best. I know how they feel--and I'm male. My first and only impression upon moving to Utah County was that it's a cultural and spiritual black hole.

Utah County or some of the SLC suburbs is a horrible place to live as a TBM. Even though living there as an exmo had its difficulties, it was much much easier and nicer there after I resigned--well, after I resigned and then moved to a neigborhod where people in the church didn't know me--just knew me as a non mormon.

Of course, I would never go back to that bassackwards state now, but at least when you're living there and not in the church, all your neighbors don't know your business. That's the problem with being assigned a church congregational geographically and then being in a place where your ward might be 3 blocks by 4 blocks. Resign your church membership and not only do you get a 10% raise, you save money by not having to be medicated just to endure living where you live.

Don't tell me TSCC is not the cause of the huge amount of depression and antidepressant medication usage in Utah.

Being stared at and judged 24/7 while feeling trapped with no hope of escape even plunges zoo animals into depression.

One Mormon man felt like his life was just a checklist made by the church and he was "going through the motions." Life held no surprises and he became depressed knowing he could never measure up. And that's someone with a career and the power of the priesthood.

Now cut that lifetime checklist down to two items if you are female:

marry an RM in the temple,
have babies.

Yeah. Utah County is a hellhole of constant judgment. Why wait for the Second Coming?--get yours early in Provo.


Anagrammy

"Being stared at and judged 24/7 while feeling trapped with no hope of escape even plunges zoo animals into depression."

I had a roommate from Washington tell me that many of the Mormon people here act like they're trapped and they just implode. I've seen a lot of self-destructive lifestyles with the local Mormons here. I've lived with people from out of state long enough to see them change into these bitter, angry, and insecure people where all they do is complain about the local Mormons.

Utah County needs a social revolution.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/16/2012 03:08AM by happyexmormon.

It's tough to always be under scrutiny, your every move judged. Sometimes you have no idea you did anything "wrong" until you hear about it later. You're walking on eggshells all the time. I think the judgmental nature and guilt that comes with Mormonism plays a seriously huge role. This is how I felt when I was married and I've had jobs I where I felt like a target, and it really does a number on your psyche.

Then there's all the time dedicated to church activities. Everyone needs their down time and it seems the Mormon church doesn't offer a lot of that. You're busy trying to keep the home up, care for the kids and do all the things you're supposed to do, and not much time pursuing your own interests. Add that dad might be off to his church stuff too, leaving you "single parenting" a lot.

Money, a big one. If you're struggling and you have to fork over tithing, that can be hard. Of course Mormons think they're paying for blessings, but it's a financial strain just the same.

Also for me, I like to be in social situations, but I also like to be alone. Some people like to be surrounded by other people all the time, but I like to have my time alone and I think the overwhelming social structure, the drop-in intrusions, would be hard for me.

That's my perspective as an outsider...it just looked so exhausting to me, and they smiled and seemed happy, but there was something so lifeless about them too.

Even now, with families getting steadily smaller, most average Mormon families have too many kids and not enough money.

Being a SAHM is no fun for TBM women when they are constantly worried about income and having a demanding church on their backs.

The same goes for the husbands.
Imagine commuting to work every day, paying 10% of your gross income to the cult, plus being expected to do church work on your weekends off.

Boggles the mind.

Did you see the slide that says that religion could be a positive buffer against depression, but if you are having trouble with your belief system or are experiencing intense guilt for perceived violations of religious expectations, it could lead to depression.

Hm. Provocative. Are there a lot of "active" Mormons who are having trouble with their belief system? We know that the latter part of the sentence is certainly true. Mormon expectations are toxic.

That is provocative. When she said that most women in the research did not use spirituality and their own religion to help them deal with their depression, I saw a red flag that these women may not have much confidence in their religion in the first place.

I wonder if lack of faith and social pressure to stay adds to the depression.

I attended that presentation as well. As I understood it, the main cause of depression among LDS women is the "perfectionism" complex in LDS culture. Be perfect in your looks, be perfect in your calling, be a perfect mother, be a perfect ... oh hell, you get it!!! The presenters said it's this cultural idea of perfectionism that becomes "toxic" (their word) to LDS women and causes depression.

If my memory is correct, the main presenter, the professor (who is a woman and is an LDS therapist), said at point point that this cultural idea of perfectionism is NOT what Christ meant when he said " . . be ye therefore perfect." She said that this concept of perfectionism is antithetical to the Atonement--which is supposed to make up the difference between what we can attain as imperfect humans and what is required to enter heaven. (As a Christian, I agree with her point.)

I can't tell you what a swirl of emotions and memories went through me during this lecture. I recalled a neighbor who overdosed accidently on painkillers that she was addicted to. She too suffered from deep depression. She left behind four kids. Another neighbor lost her marriage and her family because she was addicted to prescription medications--she was caught stealing a medicine cabinet while visiting teaching.

I had NO idea until after the death of the one neighbor and the conviction of the other that they'd had problems. They,too, were hiding behind the illusion of perfection.

I can't tell you how glad I am to to be out of this.

I have a quibble with your agreement that Christ "makes up the difference".

What we 'attain' in this life are as 'filty rags' to quote Paul. I think most Christians believe that we are covered completely by the the righteousness of Christ. There is nothing we can do to earn that righteousness. The passage about being perfect as Christ is perfect is about taking on the righteousness of Christ that is not earned but given freely by grace.

One experience I will never forget.

I was called by the RS pres to go over to one of my neighbors house and fill in while they took her to the hospital.

She had a god-awful migraine and they thought she might have a brain tumor.

I fed the toddlers who were home and proceeded to wash some clothes. Tears sprang to my eyes when I saw that she had carefully folded and stacked washclothes and towels worn completely through in spots and towels with holes, so thin they wouldn't quality for car washing rags. Her children's clothes were in similar condition, having been passed down one, two, three times.

Instantly I felt guilty for ever feeling sorry for myself. Later, the woman came by and apologized profusely for "imposing" and that she was much better, it was nothing, no brain tumor, just stress.

Just stress. I'll bet. And all the while the church is taking ten percent of this little family's pitiful income. Makes me angry even now and that was over 20 years ago.

Anagrammy