Hello everyone! My name is David. I am 44 years old, and recently decided to finally discard my old beliefs. I am a single gay male and recently recovered alcoholic. I'm from Gunnison, Utah...return missionary from the Japan Nagoya Mission 1987...BYU Graduate 1993...and very unstable in recovering from Mormonism. I now live in San Francisco and am a flight attendant with Southwest Airlines. I'm very nervous to post this and am doing so without any support from family and friends. I hope to find support and information here that will help unweave the web of indoctrination. I will post more later, but for now, I just wanted to introduce myself. I hope this forum will help remedy the thinking that has kept me ill my entire life. Thank you.

I hope you can find what you're looking for here, or at least find the means to find comfort, peace and recovery.

Most mean well here, but it can get intense at times.

Share your story (as much as you feel comfortable) and know that others like you have traveled this path and are doing better now that Mormonism is behind them.

All the very best!

I live just through the C. tunnel in Contra Costa County.

Welcome!

We exmos usually meet for coffee at the Ferry Building every fast Sunday at 2:00 pm. Hope you can make it sometime.

Isn't SF a beautiful city?



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There are lots of things I miss but I admit, most of all is the FOOD! There are not many places where you can get so much ethnic food in one place. Greek and Russian, many different kinds of Italian, French, Indian, sigh, I am making myself hungry! Enjoy The City, there are so many museums you may want to get an annual pass. The zoo is a lot of fun in dry weather. Nothing better than walking around Union Square and Maiden Lane. Then of course there is the night life. Just learn the areas to stay out of and don't be reckless. Oh and don't forget the beach! Even when it is cold it is lovely.

This board is a real ride. We do have our trolls, just ignore them and report them. There are people here from many backgrounds and parts of the world. It can get heated at times, that is for sure! When you have so many different people it is bound to but it is a great group of people and richer for the diversity. Let me know if you need help with anything, you can get me at ExMoLight@gmail.com and it is also at the top of the board :)

you are my neighbor too! I spent today at Pier 39 reading a book on reality by Alex Rosenberg.
so when is fast Sunday? I hop on Bart and visit the Ferry building very often.
Librarian

I was just reading to my "ex" your post. He is gay--55 years old. Being gay and mormon is a real mind f*ck.

And, yes, it does get intense at times.

Trust me: being gay is a mind-f?ck, regardless of any other contingency.

Steve

There really is life after Mormonism.

Hope this place helps you in what you are seeking. Lots of supportive people here and like brain-the-christ said it can get intense at times.

I suggest go at your own pace.

In the words of what you would say were I flying...

"Welcome aboard" :-)

Welcome David - we are glad you are here. You'll be surprised at all you will learn from the people on this board and the insights people have. Hope it helps. Look forward to hearing your take on things too. Totally jealous you are in San Francisco, BTW. It's my favorite city in the world.

+1

I have worked in Gunnison UT before in my field of work. Small mormon town.

San Francisco! "Toto, you are not in Kansas anymore" or "Mr. Osmond, you are not in Utah anymore".

LOL Just thought I would be humorous. Welcome David.

I used to live in Pleasonton CA too which is near you.

Just so you know, you are not going crazy at all. You are perfectly normal to be investigating the validity of the LDS church or the scriptures on the whole.

Its a roller coaster ride of emotions from the beginning, but with patience and dedication to study, you will find the truth about the history of the LDS church and no one can sugar coat it here.

Nice to meet you!

Welcome, David - and know that you made the right decision...just give yourself time. We are all behind you!!

Nice to have you here. Wow, how great that you live in San Fransisco. This board is active 24/7. If you ever need support, or need to vent, give a shout out. We're here for you.

Do consider meeting up with the SFO exmos! They are well respected on this board.



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I've got to imagine that its been tough growing up being a gay man and Mormon. I know of 3 men from my childhood who were good LDS kids but closet gays and they couldn't cope so they eventually committed suicide. It's sad what that religion does to people who are gay. Well you have nothing to apologize about as you were a victim just as were all your LDS leaders, family members, and friends in your life are all victims. In a nutshell the whole LDS religion has been a fraud from day one before you and all the grandparents of your friends/relatives/leaders were born. If you haven't figured this out then do some research and you'll see what I mean. I went through this journey several years ago unexpectedly. At the time I was sincerely happy as a TBM and well-respected by the members of my Ward/Stake (i.e. I was in the Bishopric and the youngest member of my Stake's High Priest quorum). Then I found out it was all a hoax and spent many long hours for many months desperately trying to read/ponder/pray myself back into having a testimony again. I was scared/nervous to come to a place like this. In the end I couldn't deny the truth that its a fraud and I've moved on in life. There are plenty of exmo's in the Bay Area. I'd suggest you setup a new email account (Yahoo, Gmail, Hotmail or something else) and that you publish it here and ask people to send you contact info. In a very short time you'll be in touch with a few dozen exmos who live in the Bay Area or visit it regularly. They all know what you're going through. Best wishes.

There are a lot of helpful people here who understand what you're going through. It's a great support group if you need to get your feelings off your chest, ask for advice, or look for resources.

Transitioning out of Mormonism can be tough without the support of family or friends, but you'll find a solid network here.

Nice to meet you!

A lot of people here are really going to get what you are talking about. I have seen brilliant advice and tons of support time after time. Glad you're here.

:)

Please remember to put on YOUR oxygen mask first before you can help the person next to you. Welcome new friend!

Hope to read your posts as you feel comfortable.

BTW, would you mind stopping in at an "El Farro" restaurant, on the peninsula on El Camino Real, and order a burrito. Much appreciated. If you're in the mood for dim sum...there's a little place on Grant Street with chickens hanging in the window...I'd better stop now since I am thousands of miles away from you and just making myself hungry.

Chris

This board is really great for support and venting. Like the other posters have said, it does get heated sometimes!

It's nice living an authentic life, isn't it?

I am a returned missionary where I served in Peru. I am originally from San Francisco Bay Area. I also work for the airlines as an international captain but I still believe that the Bay Area is the most beautiful place in the world. I was lucky to grow up there, unlucky to grow up there as a Mormon.

Hi David,
WELCOME! This board means the word "WELCOME" sincerely, unlike TSCC. This is a difficult journey you are on, but since you are a recovering alcoholic, you know all about difficult journies. Most of us have been on this journey and are here to help. Don't hesitate to ask.

Welcome fellow David! For me, the boards here are very cathartic in my releasing the hold TSCC has had on me. Just remember, the trolls are as ugly as real trolls and they lie like trolls too. ;)

With the name thing, I think it would be interesting to see how many people on here are named David "after the profit"

Remember, we are here for you, 24/7!

Welcome, David,

I'm Steve, 42, and also gay. You've taken a courageous step. Don't worry. You're going to be all right. You might want to consider posting here anonymously. That way, you'll be able to freely say whatever is on your mind and not worry about anyone else knowing who you are. You'll find lots of supportive, non-judgmental people here.

I had a close, gay, ex-Mormon friend who committed suicide in 2006:

http://www.affirmation.org/suicides/douglas_stewart.shtml

He was one of the greatest people that I've ever known, and it still feels unreal and impossible that he's dead.

I mention him because it can be extremely hard to come to terms with Mormonism being false, not to mention being gay. We're all in this together, here to support each other, and even have some fun. Always remember that you have friends here.

We look forward to hearing your story.

Take Care,

Steve

I'd tell you how long I've been a friend of Bill, but you'd wonder where this f***ing liar came from...

There are a number of us here; all of us have found respect and friendship (in contrast to the detractors you'll doubtless encounter--best to report them; their thought processes and attitudes are evidence they haven't let go of the "adversary mindset").

Of necessity, your recovery from addictive disease must take priority (it's "acute" when in relapse, while Mormonism is "chronic" by definition). Anger at the LDS Church is part of the recovery process; abstinence in addiction means managing anger since denial will kick in as part of the relapse dynamic (I find these days that I'm more prone to depression than the usual adolescent "acting out," although "sticking the needle" in internet trolls is probably in that category; I just can't seem to resist the temptation at times ;-).

A number of times in my recovery I've had friends sober up and return to the church. I've resisted the temptation to say anything because they don't serve beer or whiskey at ward socials or sacrament meeting, and any connection is better than past ones despite the epidemic of codepency and enabling in the LDS culture.

Go slow and stay connected; ultimately recovery is a behavorial one. You'll want to adopt a lifestyle that is abstinence-based regardless of the support system/program you develop. I think your career/employment choice is just fine, and I would just suggest hanging at the gay bars right now probably isn't wise. That may change down the road since I recognize how important such social connections are...

Regardless, the LDS faith is a fraudulent one, and recovery is a real one. And just bit of old fart's experience: you may want to rethink using your real name. Anonymity exists to protect you and the forces that make your recovery possible.

I wish you well...



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Good for you. Feel free to post any of your thoughts, and understand there are people that support your decision, and respect it.

Above support and respect, we believe it is the right decision because Mormonism is not correct. Glad to have you aboard, and I hope everything in your life goes well.

You may want to read some of the books and essays written by Thomas Szasz. He is a great thinker, and is relevant to anyone questioning things such as the LDS propaganda being presented as fact.



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See David? Aren't these people lovely?

It seems that you and I don't have much in common: I've never been mormon (nevermo), I'm female, straight and Canadian.

However I am also 44 years old! So that makes us practically twins! ;-)

Welcome to rfm!