so my dads funeral was a joke. my mom planned the whole thing without anyones input. my mom is mormon my dad was not. the whole thing was about "Plan of Salvation" and horrible music. other funerals i have gone to it is to talk about the person and what you love about them. not a church lesson. i've never gone to another mormon funeral so i wonder if this is usual.

First, (((jenn))) hugs for your loss. Yes, funerals in the Mormon church follow the same lesson plan almost every time. It is part of the fishing game for the church to attract people who are not members of the church that might attend and to shame those less active, or apostate members. Not a ton is said about the departed.

My best to you and your family.

My brother is a mortician and so I've helped with my fair share of mormon funerals. Unfortunately it seems to be the norm to have a mormon funeral be more about the "gospel" than the person. It is (in my opinion) too bad since it is supposed to be a time of remembrance and closure.

I'm sorry about your father. It is tough losing a parent, anyone you are close to for that matter.

thanks it was a couple years ago but it still bothers me that his memory was not honored

when your dad wasn't even Mormon?

That takes nerve!

I knew a guy who passed away a few years ago and he was a pretty outspoken disliker of the Mormon religion. His wife was not a member either, but his funeral was in a Mormon chapel with the usual plan of salvation nonsense. How insulting. The man wasn't Mormon; other than his wife, I'm sure his family was though and they are probably the ones who planned the funeral.

My experience has been the opposite. Most have included the plan of salvation but been mostly about the deceased.A lot depends on the bishop and, of course, what the family wants. Some people like it that way. Any religious funeral is going to be about the religion to some extent.If it brings comfort to the family, that is good. In your case, the family was obviously divied and that is too bad. Of course a religious service doesn't mean they have to be insulting to non believers or push their faith on them.

Agree with Bona Dea.
Most Mormon funerals I've been to have covered the deceased quite well. There's usually the designated gospel speaker, but the funerals have been more about the person than the church.

I went to a co-worker's funeral a few years ago at a Christian church. I can't remember the denomination. The church was full of mourners of various religions, including Jewish.

I spent the time cringing as the pastor barely mentioned the deceased but talked about salvation and Jesus and hell. I felt so bad for the Jews in the audience but they took it in stride.

I gave the eulogy at my Dad's funeral. All those involved with the ward know that I am inactive but said nothing. Had they stuck their noses in there would NOT have been a service in an LDS chapel....

Many Mormon funerals I have been to have been a mix. The majority of the focus is on the person, but the Mormon religious thing is always quite prevalent.

The worst thing I've heard of is that occasionally a judgmental Mormon bishop will think he needs to make a comment about how the deceased didn't live a righteous enough life and therefore does not qualify for heaven.