Posted by:
cricket
(
)
Date: March 29, 2012 10:40AM
Patriarchal Blessing pronounced 1965 in Detroit, Michigan.
Brother Willard Mitt Romney, by the authority of the Holy Melchizedek Priesthood, I lay my hands upon thy head and bestow a Patriarchal Blessing which shall be as the winds of the Spirit directs much as a weather vain points in the prevailing direction. Thou shalt always go with the flow, my son.
Mitt, thou art of a choice lineage, even of the Tribes of Israel. Thus when thou are among the wealthy thou are of the Tribe of Judah, when among American Indians, the Tribe of Manasseh, when among blue collars and evangelicals, the Tribe of Ephriam, and when exploring the hole in the polar ice cap, the Lost Tribes of Israel. Thy choice lineage entitles thee to all blessings of the new and everlasting covenant if thou art true and faithful in keeping the laws and ordinances of the gospel. Remain circumcised, circumspect and circular in all thy reasoning.
Thou art privileged to have been born into a family who has practiced polygamy teaching thee
that the gospel trumps the law of the land. Continue to follow modern prophetic counsel and admonitions and they will bless thee as thou places these political principles into practice. Like all modern Mormon prophets, thou will be able to deny these things whenever expedient.
Thou hast been born through a long line of Grand Old Party nobility. Always honor thy party line and do that which is expected of thee. Always let peer pressure lead thee into paths which would be most popular in the sight of the Lord of Polls, even that of Gallup.
Mitt, thou was one of the choice, faithful, loyal sons of your Heavenly Father in your pre-earth primary. So thy spirit was reserved to come to earth at this time when the fullness of the GOP was upon the earth and in the dispensation of the fullness of time to perform a special mission which thou was foreordained to do. Thou has been given gifts and talents in order for thee to accomplish this mission. Should thou refuse it, thou will be cut off and destroyed.
Thou has been blessed to be a member of the only true and living church upon the earth and to have received the priesthood. Thou has been faithful in this calling. As thou magnifies thine calling in this priesthood thou will eventually become a president of one organization or another and heir apparent of Jesus Christ thus replacing Him in the Godhead and receiving all that the Father hath.
Thou has prepared and are preparing to be a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Thou will be blessed, as thou goes into the mission field and will survive all manner of motor vehicle accidents. Thou will remain humble even though thy leadership would actually be more effective than that of thine own mission president.
In due time of the Lord thou will have a desire to seek for a choice companion to serve as a trophy wife. Such a one will be raised up for thee but only one at this time. In the hereafter thou shalt have trophy wives as numerous as the sands of the sea. Thee and thine chosen companion will enter the House of the Lord and there be sealed for time and all eternity but those not deemed worthy LDS members will not be allowed inside to witness the secret ceremony. Thou will become a father in Israel and your posterity will completely fill the BYU football stadium within three generations of time.
Thou will have a desire to continue thine education after thy mission thus avoiding the draft. This knowledge will give thee a vocation so that thy wife may drive two Cadillacs and will never lack for the necessities of life.
Continue to go to the Lord daily in prayer and to read the Wall Street Journal on a regular basis but avoid Brigham Young's Journal of Discourses like the plague.
Thou will see many of the prophecies fulfilled pertaining to the second coming of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. As thou follows the guidance of the living prophets thou will be protected from the trials and tribulations which are going to occur prior to this great event. Yeah verily, Brother Mitt, thine run for the highest office in the land shall become the primary sign of the End Times and return of the Savior to our Independence, Missouri Holy Temple.
Mitt, thy name shall be influence for good and bad, for Pro-Life and Pro-Choice, for gay and for straight, for tit and for tat, for this and for that, for oh flip and oh flop.
Strive to establish a home where politically financially self-serving whether it be in Detroit, Boston, Park City, La Jolla or New Hampshire.
As you keep the commandments and follow the promptings of the pollsters thou will be blessed to receive some of the gifts of the Super Packs. Among these gifts will be faith, understanding, wisdom, and cunning as the the man of the moment to please whomever thou does stand before.
Mitt, thy Heavenly Father loves thee very much and is counting on thee to rise and shout because His BYU Cougars are out!
I seal these blessings upon thee, Mitt, together with all former blessings which have been pronounced upon thine holy head. I seal thee up against the power of the Democratic Destroyer that thou might come forth on the morning of the first presidential election clothed with sash, apron, temple cap and glory, immortality, and eternal life, in the name of Jesus H. Christ, Amen.
Edsel Rambler Pontiac, Patriarch of the Detroit Michigan Stake of Zion
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/29/2012 10:45AM by cricket.