Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
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Posted by: Administrator ( )
Date: September 15, 2010 05:26PM


Any questions please send mail to Eric K at Do not post them on the board. Thanks!

This site ( is a privately owned Bulletin Board. The owner(s) reserve the right to delete or edit any post for any reason, even if said post appears to conform to the specified guidelines below.

The following will not be permitted without the EXPRESS PERMISSION of the site owner: requests for email addresses, requests for individuals to email the poster; advertising of any kind (commercial or otherwise); interview requests; fundraising; surveys; petitions; links to other websites; etc. This list is not meant to be exclusive. Even if owner grants permission, he may revoke said permission at any time and without notice. Please contact administrators of before making such requests.

Due to copyright considerations please post links to articles and do NOT copy the articles themselves. I few sentences from an article is ok, as long as you credit the source, but wholesale copying is not proper even if the source is acknowledged. Unfortunately, posts that contain all (or almost all) of an article will be deleted.

All information, posts, links, stories, etc. found on this site are the express copyright of the owner and may not be used in any manner without the owners express permission. Anyone posting anything on this site expressly grants the sites owner to use said post, with accompanying information, in any manner that the owner desires.

The owner of this site makes no warranties or representations of any kind and expressly states that he/she is not responsible for any postings or representations made on this site . . . even if they violate the posted guidelinesand are not deleted by owner.

This site's purpose is to let people who are, or were, in Mormonism know that they are not alone in their feelings and experiences or in their quests to regain their lives after years in this religion. We have e-mail groups to join, bulletin boards, gatherings and individuals to help with a transition to a post-Mormon life. We advocate no specific religious preference or religious activities after Mormonism. Our active participants are diverse and from differing cultural backgrounds throughout the world.

Our forum is a public place. If you wouldn't say it in the grocery store, don't say it here. Kindly warn in the subject line if there is strong language in the message that might offend (Adult Content, Swearing). Please do not use vulgar language in the subject line or as a name. It must be kept in the body of your post.

Consider alternate views as valid, valued and recognized. Please respect the views of others. Disagree, don't attack.

To conserve band width, please keep the subject line short

When in doubt, DON'T.

This is not a debate board for Mormons to defend the faith. Mormons have many other venues to debate and proclaim their religion. Please allow us our little corner of cyberspace. This board is for those who were once believers and for their friends, families and interested individuals to learn of the cultural aspects of Mormonism.

Please - no preaching!! This is not a forum to convert others to another faith. The focus here is on recovery.

Please - no advertising.

Please - no attacks of individuals for sexual orientation.
Censorship, Trolls, Rumors and Religious Wars

The Recovery from Mormonism bulletin board is a high traffic site. We get a thousand posts a day and almost a million hits per week, all without advertising or asking for money. Substantial resources are required to run the site and we are lucky to be hosted at a sympathetic ISP and to have the services of dedicated volunteers.

Most people here do not realize the sheer number of hours our volunteers put in every day to keep things running smoothly. Without their help, a board of this size would be impossible to maintain and use.

Now some comments on recent inquiries and happenings.


Sometimes the moderators of the board are accused of censorship, or of having a bias toward one viewpoint or another. I want to say for the record that we try very very hard to keep this bulletin board open to all (on topic) viewpoints. Because of the volume of traffic we get, we ask that our posters stay on the topic of mormonism and recovery therefrom. Our moderators remove posts that are off topic, contain personal attacks or preaching, are patently offensive or otherwise stray from the guidelines. Replies to removed posts are also removed to avoid confusing gaps in the conversation. Working around the filters will get your post pulled and chronic abusers will be asked to leave. If you have a problem, contact admin.

Wondering why your post got removed? Please don't ask why on the board itself. Such conversations tend to take on a life of their own and waste precious resources. Instead, send e-mail to

Do you think the moderators are picking on you by removing your posts? They aren't. Even I, Concrete Zipper the almighty system administrator, have had posts removed by the moderators, so don't feel singled out. Ask yourself if you were really following the guidelines, if your post was polite and if it was on topic. Note that we have a number of moderators scattered across a long band of time zones, so moderation attempts may be inconsistent or seem unfair. We apologize for this. We try very hard to be fair, but it's a difficult job.

"How do I avoid having my posts removed?"


1. Stay on topic
2. Be polite
3. Use a consistent screen name. We do allow anonymity, but that doesn't mean you should post as "anon" all the time. That's actually one of the signs of a troll. Just pick an original name and use it whenever you post. If you are posting some personal information that you'd rather not have linked with your screen name, feel free to post as "anon for now" for that particular posting. Posts from names we're not familiar with are more likely to get the axe.
4. Register your screen name and log in under that name whenever you post. This keeps abusers from faking posts with your name on them.
5. No personal attacks. Discuss and debate, but do not insult or attack.
6. If you have strong feelings about something, don't preach. Your best bet is to share personal experiences.
7. Keep it PG-13ish.
8. Keep it in English. If you need help to translate, mail admin.

Here are some examples of posts that will get removed:

1. personal attacks
2. politics (terrorism, party politics, foreign policy etc)
3. preaching
4. attempts to deliberately stir up trouble
5. faking a conversation by answering your own posts under different names (puppeteering)
6. complaints about censorship (ironic, ain't it)
7. questions for the admins (send those to instead)
8. complaints about the admins (ditto)
9. advertising and solicitations for money
10. legal issues not cleared in ADVANCE through admin
11. copyrighted material
12. posts about a topic that the moderators have said to drop
13. anything that collects personal information, requests for signatures on petitions or links to petitions, interview requests not cleared IN ADVANCE with admin. Requests for people to contact you off board.
14. anything illegal.
The above list is not exhaustive.

Deliberate attacks on the board itself or repeatedly ignoring rules or instructions from the admins is likely to result in all of your posts being removed. Our moderators' time is too valuable to waste on on people who deliberately cause trouble. Don't do it.


The word "troll" is not a reference to a deformed creature under a bridge, but to trolling for fish. The canonical definition of the internet sense of "troll" can be found here:

Trolls post comments, not to add information to a discussion, but to stir up trouble. We have a lot of trouble with trolls on the Recovery Board. Some are TBMs who feel righteous when they battle apostates. Others are bored or lonely. Some are mentally ill. Some just think it's fun to mess with other people.

Don't respond to trolls. Don't play with trolls. Don't debate trolls. It's a waste of your time and the board's resources. The troll's postings and your replies will all be deleted anyway.

How do you know if someone is sincere or just trolling for responses? Because we allow anonymity, it can sometimes be hard to tell. If the poster seems sincere, treat them as sincere. If the posts get removed, they were probably trolling. Remember that the admins have more information that you do, and so are better at judging who is and is not a troll. What may not be obvious to you can be glaring to us.


Because the administrators do so much in the background, certain happenings can seem mysterious to the board denizens. We apologize for not being able to explain everything that goes on. Often we don't have the time to do so. Sometimes a general explanation to the board will just encourage a trouble maker.

If you have a question about something that seems strange to you, do not post it to the board. Send e-mail to

Religious Wars

One topic has repeatedly caused disputes on the Recovery Board since its founding: religion versus atheism. That topic goes to the heart of why most people are here, so it is not something that we can ban or ignore.

One of the things about that gives us credibility is that we are secular: we are not affiliated with any religion and we do not advocate any religion. The site is neutral on the topic. Our posters take many different paths away from mormonism and we would like this to be a forum where they can all have a voice. That said, we do not allow preaching; personal experiences and thoughtful discussion are welcome, but we do not want the site to get bogged down with people quoting dogma at each other.

Mormonism is a form of Christianity and religion so, for some people, recovery from mormonism will also include leaving Christianity or religion altogether. This does not mean that Christians or the discussion of Christianity are discouraged here. Far from it! This site is Christian-friendly. It is not, however, Christian-safe. Do not assume that everyone here will share your beliefs; other posters can and will disagree with and challenge what you say. If you decide that you need a site that is Christian-safe as well, we can recommend some places.

Remember, be polite and thoughtful in your postings. Don't preach. Tell how you feel about something personally and tell what you yourself have experienced. Don't make assumptions about the beliefs of those who read your post. People will disagree with you. If that hurts, all I can suggest is that you grow a thicker skin or find somewhere else to post.

CZ (admin)

Edited 8 time(s). Last edit at 07/14/2016 10:35AM by Eric K.

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