http://mormon.org/me/2BD1-eng/
i cant believe they published most of the stuff i wrote =) see if you notice the subtle sarcasm.

this, however, was NOT approved:
"
Men are able to be sealed (married for time and all eternity) to more than one wife, but we do not believe in polygamy. This is a common misconception. For example, if my wife dies, I may marry another woman in the temple, for time and all eternity, but I cannot be married to both at the same time while they both are alive. But in eternity, after I die, I will be married to both.

Members of the church used to practice polygamy in the beginning. It was introduced by Joseph Smith and practiced by some up until 1890. You can read about it in the Doctrine and Covenants section 132. President Hinckley (now deceased) said a few years ago in an interview that polygamy is not doctrinal. A living prophet is more important to us than a dead prophet. Although President Hinckley is now dead, I know of no new statement by President Monson, the living prophet concerning the issue. Although the revelation of plural wives is still in the Doctrine and Covenants, it is not church doctrine any more.
"
everything i have written here is true, but this was their reason:
"
Nick,
Thank you for your efforts in responding to this “Frequently Asked Question.” However, your response is somewhat inconsistent with the Church’s position on this issue. So that you are aware of the Church’s position on this topic we have provided the following link that will take you to a statement you can use as a reference. Note: It includes a statement made by President Gordon B. Hinckley, which you may have been trying to reference.

http://mormon.org/faq/#Polygamy

You need not respond to FAQ questions to keep your profile posted on Mormon.org however if you would like to resubmit a response on this question, we suggest that you go to the link and read the statement that describes the Church’s position on this topic and then re-write your response, using your own thoughts and words but accurately reflecting this position. This will help to avoid confusing the non-member reader who could see differences in your statement and the Church’s position on this subject.

Thank you for your efforts in sharing the gospel with others.
"

i just added this following experience:
"
Serving in the Norway mission changed my life.
A little while before I was called I prayed that I could be sent to a difficult mission.
Then I got my call and it was the Oslo, Norway mission.
After serving there for 2 years I realized I got what i asked for: difficult but rewarding =)
Now I am blessed to live there and continue my work among them as a normal person.
"
do you think they'll notice the word i created?



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 11/26/2010 08:00AM by Nick Humphrey.

Even though our official stance is totally inaccurate, read it then rewrite your response so it reflects, in your own words, what we tell you to think?

That's rich!

Someone tell me it an't a cult!

Timothy

A lot of Primary lessons are written that way also.

"Tell this story in your own words..."

My wife who taught Primary asked me what that meant, and I instantly had a flashback to teachers who told the stories as if it happened to them or had firsthand knowledge.

When I taught the 12-13 yo class, I saw this also but it's just too weird so they got the read from the manual version.

...there was this little man writing "somethings fishy" on the blackboard of my mind, but I foolishly ushered him out...

"we suggest that you go to the link and read the statement that describes the Church’s position on this topic and then re-write your response, using your own thoughts and words but accurately reflecting this position."

read - say what we want you to say in your own words even if it is lying and you were the one actually telling the truth.

When you write to the GAs - or the church HQ - and ask a question, they refer you back to you "local priethood leaders" for an answer. Nick should respond that these were the answers that he received from these leaders.

They should make up their minds...

The sad thing is this could be my friends or family profile. There really is not to much difference.

Tithing is used in many ways:
* to build our holy temples and chapels
* it is invested wisely in businesses
* it is used to help people
* it helps pay our General Authorities, Apostles and Prophet and his Counselors so they can work full time as special witnesses of Jesus Christ

"
Please Revise

Part of your submission contains Church doctrine that may not be correct. It may have just been overlooked. Please review and update. Thank you!
"

um, everything there is completely true. how do i proceed?

Maybe you should delete "It is used to help people." Then when your submission is rejected again, you could delete the word "wisely."

i actually changed the part about paid GAs and wrote "we have no paid clergy" instead =)

How funny. I wouldn't be surprised if they edited your remarks without your permission though, changing "normal" to something like "civilian."

I love the idea of going off on wild doctrinal tangents talking about all the crazy things Mormons don't want anyone to know that they used to teach. :) Well done!

Nick,
Wow, how on earth did that profile get accepted!?!

Maybe you're on to something though...

Add one really obvious piece of text that needs to be censored, resulting in them removing it but ignoring the rest.

If I was an non-member and read your resume, I would run a mile (especially as I am a M$ developer, and regard open source as the 'dark side' :) )

I looked at one profile for someone I knew...

The question was 'How I live my faith'.

His answer was:
Currently I am serving as the High Priest Group Leader in my ward of the church. I am also a Temple Ordinance Worker in the Preston Temple.


What a very mormon thing to say!!

(although in fairness, he used to complain that missionaries weren't showing him enough respect as an Elders Quorum President when they didn't call him 'President'!)

Thyey did NOT like it when I asked a bishop right to his face "When do the women get to have 2 or more husbands?" They got way upset with me. LOL!!!
Also, when my TBM father in law died he was dressed in his temple clothes, green apron and all...I did NOT know at the time what the green apron was for. I kept asking everyone there and they just ignored me. I wasn't getting any answer, so I finally yelled loud "What's it for, TIPS?" You shoulda seen the dirty look I got from the TBM's!
One more thing, my ex mother in law worked at a UT temple, and in front of everyone I asked her what she did there. All she would say in her cagey way was " I work at the temple." I asked her 4 different times,all with the same answer. So finally when she ignored me I said, "Well, I don't understand, what do you do, answer phones?"....she got pissed! LOL.

What if you get spotted here by a TBM who then reports you to the bishop?

I love your profile haha

when paired with "although I didn't get any compensation from BYU or the church..."

allows the reader to clearly see what the morgbots who edit these things, who are also brainwashed, is that this poor sap is totally programmed by a cult to view everything in his life, even abuse, as his fault and/or a lesson for his improvement.

It is nothing less than the psychology of genius found in judo and other martial arts, where you take the weakness of the other and make it your strength.

The screeners have to make judgment calls on these mormon profiles and they ARE BLIND FROM THEIR OWN BRAINWASHING and too many sittings at F&T meetings. What would be obvious to an investigator they aren't even going to see.

Even with them reading this post, they still won't see it, like the guy that said, "What's funny about that?"

Doesn't that mean someone had to do some pretty sophisticated programming of what was unacceptable as an answer?????

you cant ask them what is "wrong"!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2010 08:02AM by Nick Humphrey.

Esp the part about "I was grateful I was shot..."

Pure gold...

I definitely like *Jesus Christ*

and all the =) too!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/28/2010 07:55PM by not part of the problem.

"
Why do you have 12 Apostles? They were just meant to be around for the time of Jesus Christ, not to be replaced with new apostles.
We actually have 15 apostles! The prophet is an apostle as well as his counselors.

They are special witnesses of Jesus Christ and Apostle Russell M. Nelson told me when he visited our mission in Norway that when called to be an apostle their first objective is to pray and meditate in the temple until Jesus reveals himself to them personally. Think about that! They have all met Jesus Christ in person! They are truly special witnesses of Jesus Christ!
"