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Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
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Posted by: ray ( )
Date: February 25, 2012 10:05PM

If you are a shy person who would not normally make it as a mormon,are you judged biasedly as a sinner by Mormons?
To be a mormon in any successful way, you have to be a potential marketing tool like the ones used in those I am mormon ads.If youa re a privatye person who does not like the spotlight,or would not be suitable for those ads,you are a living peice of rubbish according to my experience.

Have any of you been trated by biasedly by Mormon or the church as a whole because you do not make the mormon personality type?

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Posted by: atheist&happy:-) ( )
Date: February 25, 2012 10:15PM

TSCC rewards people who put on a good show i.e. the extroverted entertainer types. They want members to have a certain image, and do not value individuality.

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Posted by: The Motrix ( )
Date: February 25, 2012 11:05PM

Yep -- If you can see the big picture and you're a thinker, you probably won't last long.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: February 25, 2012 10:20PM

I haven't ever seen that trait :punished: with judgment as a sinner.

However, in the back of people's minds will be such 'wisdom' as "Don't hide your light".

You see, cliches apply as to the wisdom of the person who they came to the mind of.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/25/2012 10:21PM by guynoirprivateeye.

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Posted by: Don Bagley ( )
Date: February 25, 2012 10:24PM

Like my mother, I am a super-introvert. But where she was given a pass (too sick for the church meetings, etc), I was derided and excoriated for my shyness. Eventually I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder, but not till I was 39 years old! Before that I was considered a slacker and a sinner by my evil Mormon father. I was ashamed of myself, and that is my war cry against the Empire of Mormonism.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: February 26, 2012 08:47AM

Wondering if I could visit you some time in the future. Perhaps DH and I could drive to your home or to a coffe shop or bar for a chat. No pressure, just a thought.

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Posted by: Don Bagley ( )
Date: February 26, 2012 06:09PM

email me at donalddbagley@yahoo.com

I get pretty nervous in public, but I have Klonopin to help.

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Posted by: nickerickson ( )
Date: February 26, 2012 07:41AM

People like us

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Posted by: forbiddencokedrinker ( )
Date: February 26, 2012 07:49AM

If you are a thinker, and always come up with inconvenient questions, then they don't like that. No matter how honest your desire for truth, and no matter how much you want to believe, but need this question answered in a rational way, they can't come up with a real answer, no do they appreciate you sharing your doubts.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: February 26, 2012 08:34AM

It views introverts as a liability since they're not good missionaries and public speakers and because they don't enjoy unannounced guests or doing their hometeaching and visiting teaching assignments.

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Posted by: summer kites ( )
Date: February 26, 2012 09:32AM

My mormon inlaws were the first people to think that my shyness is "weird".

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Posted by: Annabelle ( )
Date: February 29, 2012 05:59PM

Yes! My in-laws (TBM) used to complain that I was not out-going like their perfect daughters. & When I did speak, they made fun of my voice saying it was too 'high'.

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Posted by: Annabelle ( )
Date: February 29, 2012 06:01PM

Oh and the TBM inlaws conplained that I read too many books.

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Posted by: me ( )
Date: February 26, 2012 09:44AM

The OP wrote something I could have written. Some people like this are diagnosed with Dependent Personality Disorder. They are so unassertive that they become magnets for abuse, and they have incredible tolerance for abuse. When divergence from the norm is seen as evidence of sin, the abusers justify themselves.

Start thinking for yourself, and standing up for yourself. Exit from that social environment. It works.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/26/2012 09:45AM by me.

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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: February 26, 2012 10:54AM

Well, we know they don't like feminists. What kind of personality produces a feminist? I have no idea, but they don't like it. They've stipulated that, and proven it by publicly excommunicating several.

We know they don't like intellectuals. I have no idea what kind of personality produces an intellectual, but we know that Mormon & Co. don't like them. They've stipulated that, and proven it by publicly excommunicating several.

Homosexuals are an enemy of the church, so they don't like them, but I'm not sure that that qualifies as a "personality type."

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Posted by: jf ( )
Date: February 26, 2012 10:57AM

Yes, they don't like people who are honest.

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Posted by: imaworkinonit ( )
Date: February 26, 2012 01:30PM


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Posted by: Suckafoo ( )
Date: February 26, 2012 01:36PM

My mother in law is painfully shy. Before she was baptised as a convert she told them the only way I will be a convert and be baptised is if I don't have to speak. They honored the request. She is temple worthy and never spoken in church in any way or given any testimonies.

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Posted by: darth jesus ( )
Date: February 26, 2012 01:38PM

they don't like people who question.

"pray, pay, and obey" is not good enough for me. bye mormonism!

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Posted by: AKA Alma ( )
Date: February 26, 2012 02:39PM

In mormonism Introversion is an affliction to be overcome.

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Posted by: Bro.R.H. ( )
Date: February 26, 2012 03:38PM

I think this is the most accurate response to the question. I don't think the church thinks of introverts or thinkers as a threat, but rather fail to realize that such traits are normal and and people with it just need different forms of stimulation. I guess this is not surprising in an organization where the ideal is the individual serving the institution, rather than the other way around.

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Posted by: me ( )
Date: February 26, 2012 03:47PM

They fear the quiet observer. They never know what that person is thinking, so they try to mind-read. Such a person might be hiding and biding her* time. When such a person reaches the peak of what she can tolerate, all hell breaks loose.


* generally



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/26/2012 03:56PM by me.

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Posted by: SusieQ#1 ( )
Date: February 26, 2012 02:41PM

It's the threat to leadership - an extrovert, confident, independent, free thinker, someone who questions everything.

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Posted by: unworthy ( )
Date: February 26, 2012 03:08PM

I always thought that arrogance and rudeness were the kind of person that made good mormons.

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Posted by: freeman ( )
Date: February 26, 2012 04:07PM

I'm quite shy, but my wife is very shy. She probably does have a social anxiety disorder, while I just feel pushed outside of my comfort zone. Even as a believer, I hated attending church due in a large part to feeling uncomfortable with being asked to pray etc; my wife, as a TBM, is virtually inactive today not because she doesn't believe, but because she has such severe anxiety attending church each week and I make it easy for her to not bother going.

Yes, I agree with the OP. We have always been shunned due to not having the right personality, even when we were both believers and fully active.

Once, we had just moved into a new ward where we didn't know anybody. After a month of turning up 5 minutes late and leaving straight after the closing prayer of the final class, the Bishop finally caught up with us and summoned us into his office. He was reasonably friendly, and asked us about our background / current situation etc (presumably seeing if we were "calling material") but then towards the end of the conversation he said something we both found odd - he told us that most of the people in the ward had been around here for a very long time; a few families have three or four generations active in the ward. He said they were a friendly lot, but probably wouldn't go out of their way to fellowship us, and that it was our responsibility to make sure we got to know everybody and got ourselves involved. We needed to make the effort, because they wouldn't bother.

As the weeks and months went on, we never did "make the effort" with everybody else. On the few occasions we were even spoken to, they often said things like "it's a shame you didn't move to such-and-such-a-town, they really need a young couple like you!" Needless to say, we stopped attending after a while. We were clearly surpless to their requirements.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/26/2012 04:09PM by freeman.

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Posted by: miner8 ( )
Date: February 27, 2012 11:01AM

I came by here about 4 years ago and there was a thread where people posting here put down their Meyer's Briggs personality type. Despite that certain personality types were in the minority-usually around 1 percent, eg INTP, those personalities showed up here with amazing frequency. Males here seemed to possess more of the rare types as well. It is not hard to see why; the introverted thinking types have less "sheep-like" tendency and usually seek to actually verify facts before being hopelessly sold. It is just a matter of time until a thinking person questions Mormonism's superficiality.

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Posted by: liminal state ( )
Date: February 29, 2012 12:47PM

Yeah, they do. Their religious culture (in Utah County, anyways) breeds conformity. They shun people with independent ideas and individual personalities.

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Posted by: emanon ( )
Date: February 29, 2012 01:00PM

Those who use their brain...to think.

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Posted by: Mia ( )
Date: February 29, 2012 01:04PM

After reading this thread, it has become very clear why I never fit in, and never will.

I am basically shy. I can become extroverted in order to protect myself or someone else. I mind my own business and expect others to do the same. I detest people dropping in on me. There are only 4 people on the planet that I don't mind if they drop in unannounced.

I ask a lot of questions, usually i'm asking the people who like to flaunt there superior knowledge and righteousness. That would be bish, sp, ga's, rsp' and the like.

I'm creative and artistic.

I like myself just fine, and am not interested in putting on an act for anyone. I'm not a butt kisser. I'm not impressed by status.
I'm hopeless as far as mo'ism goes.

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Posted by: blueorchid ( )
Date: February 29, 2012 02:52PM

I think mormons are extremely uncomfortable with anyone who's source of self esteem comes from something other than the church.

To their thinking, every accomplishment and growth in your life pales in comparison to how well you fulfill your callings. Anything else you do is discounted.

For the last year before the light went on and I realized the church was a lie, I felt a disconnect and a separation. Looking back, this was because I had come to a cross roads where I had to choose between being who I really was and who I needed to be to be part of the church matrix.

Being myself stopped me from being liked by other mormons and I felt it. It was because I liked myself more than the church. I chose myself. They sense it. They know it. And, they don't like it.

I just couldn't dislike myself for one more minute. So for me, I have to agree with many above who said INDIVIDUALITY.

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Posted by: jan ( )
Date: February 29, 2012 04:49PM


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Posted by: akemton ( )
Date: February 29, 2012 06:53PM

yeah. women like me. The ultra-righteous controlling priesthood holders HATED me. I am sexy, vivacious, flirty, smart, witty, and unabashed on calling out behavior I think is inappropriate (like trying to control a woman through "divine revelation"). I had a bishop say, "I wish you would have gone through the temple, so I could just ex-communicate you, instead of having you here on my rolls." I was 19.

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