I don't get it!!! We skyped for like 2 hours a couple months ago and I told him how much I disagreed with the church and I made it very clear that I am not coming back and do not believe. I told him I hadn't prayed in 6 months, and that I thought praying was a total joke. A lot of people on here agreed that missionaries stop caring about their converts, especially if they lose interest in the church, and that they won't care about maintaining a friendship if you leave. So what is he trying to do?? Do you think he seriously believes I'll come back? It's been 9 months since I was baptized and I was inactive immediately after baptism, so it doesn't make sense that he'd waste all this time trying to "save me." He's been off his mission for almost 9 months as well, so now that he's out in the real world, why am I still on his mind at all? I feel in my heart that he's a really good person, but I don't know if I can truly believe that he cares about having a friendship with me. I'm just incredibly confused.

Here's the email:

Ajhart!

How's it going? Are you still in New York loving life? How's the nannying going? I hope you've found some fun things to do in the little spare time you have in "The Big Apple" ;-)

I've been in Jerusalem for about a month now. It's pretty incredible here. I feel like you would really enjoy this city. There is so much diversity! Walking through the city is like walking through 3 different countries! Plus, it's fun to have teachers with such wildly conflicting viewpoints! The more I learn about other's religions (especially Judaism & Islam), the more inspired I am by their great faith. It has greatly strengthened my own resolve to be a faithful Latter-day Saint!

Anyway, I thought of you yesterday and decided to drop you a line! Hope all is well, my dear! Keep me posted on what's going on with you. Be good ;-)

Love,

Hot missionary.



Bahhh. Seriously, why is he wasting his time?? If he seriously does value our friendship, that would be amazing because we get along so well and I really do think he's a wonderful person but a part of me thinks it's just too good to be true.

I also have no idea how to respond to that email....be good?? Should I mention that I just got a huge tattoo down my spine, my belly button pierced and I hang out with a bunch of crazy metal heads? Do you think he'd email back? Haha. I guess I'm just looking for an outside perspective because I feel like it's hard for me to understand his intentions because I am a naive 19 year old with clouded judgment when it comes to this.

As always, any wise words or talking of some sense into me would be greatly appreciated:)

teach him the truth and marry him

>>He's been off his mission for almost 9 months>>

He has to follow instructions for after mission life.....find a wife and get married

>>The more I learn about other's religions (especially Judaism & Islam), the more inspired I am by their great faith. It has greatly strengthened my own resolve to be a faithful Latter-day Saint!>>

Now if I could just get ajhart back to church she'd know the church is true. It would be good for her and certainly good for me if she'd only come back to the church.

>>If he seriously does value our friendship, that would be amazing because we get along so well>>

Can you be friends if you never want to go back to church? You've told him you have no intentions of going back to church. He may still believe he can get you back to the church.

>>I've been in Jerusalem for about a month now.>>

Probably has a case of lonely and you get along well.

Maybe he's hoping for more. Maybe he's looking for a wife. RM's feel pressure to do that.

If you aren't going back to the church in the end it will probably come down to his having to choose between you or the church especially if it is intent to pursue you and wants the friendship to go towards marriage.

>>"Why is he sending me emails like this?!!">>

Can you ask him?

It sounded like a perfectly innocuous, innocent, friendly "how ya doin" email. He might have an ulterior motive, or he might just like you and wants to continue a friendship now that he's off his mission.

You have a lot of choices:
• You could reply and inquire as to his intentions. That would save a lot of making shit up in your head.

• You could just blow him off, assuming you will never hear from each other again. That means don't be sending mixed messages by Skyping or texting with him months from now. If you want to cut him off, cut him off. Don't play yo-you girl with him if you're truly not interested in being friends.

• You could write a blazing, attack-mode email back telling him all the "sins" you've been getting up to and in general, just make him feel like an ass for sending you a friendly note. You could probably guarantee, however, that you'd never hear from him again, if, in fact, that is what you want.

• You could write him a very short, polite little note explaining that, while it's nice to hear from him, you've decided on a different path and won't be having anything to do with mormons anymore.

There is a distinct possibility that having experiences like baptising someone who almost immediately went inactive was quite damaging to his testimony. He might be wanting out himself and may be reaching out to someone who isn't all in herself. You just can't know what his motive is unless you ask him. So you have to ask yourself: how important is it to me to know? Do I care if this guy genuinely wants to be my friend or not? If not, then blow him off and forget about him, after, of course, you block him from your cell and FB page. If you do care, then respond in kind, "I am fine, how are you. Weather sure is nice this time of year. How long will you be in Jerusalem?"

I don't see much into this. Maybe he's putting out the feelers. Who knows. Even if he had a romantic interest, Mormons and nonMormons don't mix. It might work at first, but there will be tons of conflict later. Just write back -- I'm glad you're having a great time. You'll have to share pictures. Same, same old here. Insert a couple of updates. Here's some pictures from that super fun thing we did. Good to hear from you. Conversation will progress from there. It'll be a casual update here and there or he'll layer on the Mo-goo at some point. I wouldn't make any assumptions and remind him you're out. He already knows the scoop and he wrote you anyway. If this turns into an effort to reactivate, you can tell him to pound sand. I don't know. I suppose if he had his sights on you back then, he might be checking up to see if maybe you've gone back to Molly or you might tip in that direction. No harm in that. Just enjoy the hotness. :)

Edit to add - I agree with Dogzilla that another reason "could be" putting out the feelers because he wants to make an exit or you're "safe" in these types of discussions. He might not be able to be open with fellow mo's.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/06/2012 10:42AM by omreven.

Yes he's flirting.

Doesn't sound like a flirt to me, but if it is, he's making certain AJHart knows he's staying mormon no matter what.

"It has greatly strengthened my own resolve to be a faithful Latter-day Saint!"

Don't make it about attacking the church directly. Show him something like this, http://pocm.info/index.html and tell him it opened your eyes about a lot of the history of Israel. He'll either realize you are a lost cause, or that he is.

This is the one you go into hormone over load around right? How about a little note something like this?

Dear exMishey

I've been having such a great time in the big apple. I just got a fabulous tattoo down my spine and to balance it out, a new belly button piercing. (enclose pics) they are my new religion!

I found this amazing web site that supports me as I work my way out of mormonism. It as been a great way to clear my mind concerning the false teachings that JS has left behind. A site called mormon think really put it in perspective for me. I hesitate to tell you about that site, because it's like letting you into my mind. Is that too personal?

Any way, I'm glad your having a good time in your travels. Thanks for thinking of me! ajhart


At leas he'll know right where you stand.lol

HAHAHAHA Mia I love you!!! That is the best reply I have ever seen. & yes it's definitely hormone overload boy... I'm getting better at controlling myself! I wish I had the balls to send that...and the pics included? Priceless. I feel like you've pulled the exact words I WANT to say but probably couldn't...I feel like I'm slowly getting to the point where I could really be that blunt. Soon enough..:)

He's writing to you because he's a young man and he can't help himself.

He seriously needs to be in a relationship. His body and his mind collude to send him this message everyday.

However, he also wants to preserve his veneer of mormon blarney. From his point of view, he probably thinks that having you on his mind so much is a sign from the Holy Spirit that he should continue to be friendly. He probably thinks persistence will win the day because god and truth are on his side.

He's young and, in some ways, dumb. Mormonism makes him dumb in selective ways.

In a way, you a safe recipient of his longing since you are not there. No physical proximity equals safe flirting. Human nature urges him to flirt.

If he had any real self-awareness he would adapt and form a relationship with a young woman in Israel. Or he would drop the mormon blarney and come back to you in order to find out if there's real love between you.

The guy is immature. And he is hiding from himself.

I totally agree with this advice

This is a classic recently returned missionary e-mail that's trying to prove a point to you--and of course let you know that he still thinks about you a lot. You made a strong impression on him. He is very much convinced that his religion is true and would love to have you in his life if you by chance came back to the fold(he probably spends a lot of time day dreaming about you)-- then you guys could go on adventures around the world together, and have spirit children together--He is probably trying to keep his options open..like most good looking Mormon guys. They think they have the pick of the litter.

Have you guys noticed how many pretty Mormon girls marry weird looking Mormon guys??...just a side note

I know a lot of good Mormon guys like this that were and are maybe still trying to find themselves. He seems to have so much pressure on him to be that role that so many people expect him to fill. It makes him feel better about everything if he tries to help you see the light that he has. I had some guys do this when I left the church. Some guys would fbook chat me that just got off missions or were preparing to go on missions. They knew I was a gonner and would write lines like that to me...trying to use the positive approach and show you how happy they are.

In his short email that he wrote you....way too many references to the church...I'd be a little pissed off if I were you and probably would give him at least a week before I responded and keep it short and sweet like his.

They tend to give up IF you're baptized and the local members are coddling you along. They don't give up so easily until that happens unless they have more promising targets in their scope.

Missionaries are famous for dropping in after long lapses of no contact. What's happening with you is commonplace.

I'm old enough to be their grandmother and they still want to visit me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/01/2015 12:43PM by Cheryl.

Avoid serious relationships with people who use a lot of exclamation marks.

ETA: This is one of those resurrected blast from the past threads. To that end I ask, "WHY!!!!?!?!?!?"



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/01/2015 12:51PM by Beth.

Feb 2012. People aren't checking the posts.

Anyone receive a real fool's day prank? Or prank someone?

At BYU, someone connected our phone line with Buffo's Pest Control, filled up bras with water/froze them in freezer, packed front door with snow...

I find it interesting that he informed you that he is opening up about the "faithful" actually existing in other religions. It sounds like he is oscillating between critical thinking and indoctrination, many do that when they are waking up. I'll bet he likes you and he wants someone safe to talk to about the fraud. Go easy on him and you might at least be able to help someone out of the mess.

My guess is that it is his libido talking. Men are polygamous by nature. Anyway you take this, it is a dead end no matter how hot he is.