I'm really depressed right now. All I want is a normal, non-paranoid family that believes they are constantly in a battle against evil. I'm just so tired of it. I love my family, but I just can't take it. Why am I the one who has to keep everyone from falling apart?

Every time I communicate with my mom, it always ends up the same. Some variant of, "I must make a stand." "Satan is trying to destroy me." "We must fight the evil in our lives." Or "I don't need the proof, I know it's true. I just have a feeling." Everything on facebook is couched in Mormon speak. Everything is related to the last days, or humility, or some Mormon virtue. I can't take it.

All I want is to have a relationship where I don't need to worry about this.

I forgot to say, and I don't think I can edit, all my life I've heard, you're special, you're going to make a mark on this world. Everything I do is related to that. It's even been said to my friends, "You guys are making a mark on the world." It's unbelievably embarrassing watching the awkward faces my friends make.

Sorry I have no wise words,depressed, but i think you have a perfect example of dysfunctional family, Mormon style.

As you say, exhausting. Is there anyway you can take a break from it? Not answer the phone, reduce (not cut) contact? Maybe you are taking, or having pushed on you, the coping role.

Don't take it. Find a way to change things.

'Families are Forever'? Please God, No :)

I almost thought i'd found another family with a crossbow fettish. Yes my family beleve that we will actualy have to shoot evil.

Replace crossbow with guns and cowboy stuff.

Guns arent aloud here so we have to have crossbows till a nuts mormon goes even mroe nuts and starts something.

The "you're special" thing seems so nice at first, but the more I heard it, the more anxiety I felt that I was somehow supposed to accomplish wonders. It ruined my self-esteem more than helped it. And it made me think I was better than other people, so I was justified in judging them. Classic Mormonism there.
Sorry that wasn't any advice, but a lot of us have experienced the exact same thing. Hang in there.

I feel for you; no advice except perhaps to agree about evil in the world and say: "Yes. Yes there is." If the family is in danger of falling apart and/or concentrating too much on evil, perhaps THAT is Satan, just working another angle; that would throw them for a loop. If TSCC is the elephant in the room, remind them that it doesn't take being a mormon to fight evil; look at Ghandi or Nelson Mandela or Mother Teresa (that would probably make them angry though, because the LDS church is EVERYTHING, right?)
Luckily I don't have any "demon behind every rock" types in my immediate family, but further out there are some where absolutely nothing in life can go by without it being absolute 100% good or evil: "Obama is Hitler" or "This broccoli is delicious; we are so blessed."

It can make family get togethers wall-climable...

I decided it wasn't.

Me too.

With my mother I mean, not Lulu's.

You feel love toward your family because you were raised there. If you'd been raised in a different family, you'd love them too. So maybe it's time to go create a circle of friends that can be your new family, because sometimes our biological families just suck. The more of your life you invest in trying to make them normal, the more it will drag you down. They probably aren't going to change, but you can.

Im with my buds Mak and Mutt on this one.

Blood is thicker than water,

But love is thicker than blood.

Go find some.

OP you say you feel like the only one who has to keep the family from falling apart. That is a role you have either taken on or been assigned. You don't have to keep doing it.



OP you sound like a young person. Is there some neutral activity that you can do with the family, like bowling or yard work where you can be together but not in each other's faces?

Bike rides are great because you really can't talk.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/28/2012 11:55AM by presbyterian.

My well-meaning sister (a successful writer) once told me I was going to win a Pulitzer with my writing. I couldn't write again for 10 years, too much pressure.

My other sister, who sounds like your family, used to drive my younger brother crazy. She's the most fundie Xtian by far in the family - her husband divorced her and my brother would help her do things and she would tell him it wasn't good enough until he'd get mad and then she'd say he was possessed by Satan. She used to scream at the devil to leave her alone, and everything that ever happened to her that was bad was Satanic persecution. She also claimed to have seen an angel once. I can't imagine an angel wanting to have anything to do with her. I personally think she's certified insane - she has a retinue of crazy Xtians as friends.

The only cure was for both of us to find new families. Fortunately we still have each other, and the whole thing resulted in us becoming atheists and pretty much not talking to the rest of the screwed up family (my parents are gone, we waited until then).

But that doesn't mean you should wait, we both left home young, we just went back to see our parents when we could, but if they hadn't joined this crazy religion none of this would've happened.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/28/2012 12:14PM by lostinutah.

She' projecting her ideas of who you should be onto you. It's her baggage, and she's loading it onto you.

Just because she's your mother does not mean she has a right to continually run at the mouth about her religion and how she thinks you should fit into it.

My mother used to do the same thing. When I was 26 I told her she was no longer allowed to talk religion, or criticize me. If she did I left the room, or the building. She got the message loud and clear.

Anyone read the 48 Laws of Power? It's great!

Anyway, Rule 10 is entitled "Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky".

It's a rule that has saved my sanity and my energy for better relationships and projects. My unhappy, unlucky warrior family was draining way too much energy...

Sounds like you need a break from the whole bunch. Give yourself some time away. No phone calls, no emails ... and learn to change the subject, or set some boundaries.
OK, mom, anymore talk of evil and I hang up. I'm overloaded!
Lets talk about the fun things in life!

I can't remember who said it, but it sounds true.

Like the comment of SusieQ#1. You may need some space from them, so that you can move on and they can cool down.

In the meantime, I hope you can start to move on and start to live a life that affirms the things that you DO believe. Over time, they may be able to see that you are a fundamentally good person and that all this Satan stuff was over the top.

My family was in a similar place--especially mom. But we've been able to move on, but we haven't discussed religion.

Good luck to you. The blasted LDS church makes this hard.