Here is an excerpt from a news report on the talk:

Elder Bednar openly admitted one of his examples of discerning other people might spark controversy on campus. He told a story about a returned LDS missionary who observed, over a period of time, that the girlfriend he hoped to marry did not remove her additional earrings after LDS Church President Gordon B. Hinckley counseled women and girls in the church to wear only one earring in each ear.

"This was a valuable piece of information for this young man," Elder Bednar said, "and he felt unsettled about her nonresponsiveness to a prophet's pleading. For this and other reasons, he ultimately stopped dating the young woman because he was looking for an eternal companion who had the courage to promptly and quietly obey the counsel of the prophet in all things and at all times. The young man was 'quick to observe' that the young woman was not 'quick to observe.' "

Elder Bednar said he knew the illustration might lead to letters in BYU's campus newspaper, the Daily Universe, about the young man being too judgmental or about Elder Bednar focusing on a young woman's mistake instead of a young man's.
"I simply invite you to consider and ponder the power of being quick to observe — and what was actually observed in the case I just described. The issue was not earrings!"

I observed that Bednar is a control freak and pickle fanatic.

Bednar's little parable is a sad reminder of the emphasis on obedience and willingness to drink Kool-Aid that "the Brethren" and chapel Mormon culture value in people, in members.

The idea that a young man would choose--let's face the bottom line here--a spouse on the basis of her college aged self wanting to go on wearing AN extra set of earrings is ludicrous, absurd. All other elements of personal compatibility with a prospective life partner are out the window b/c she chooses in one trivial matter to not obey a bunch of old men in Salt Lake City? Sounds like some version of "The Princess and The Pea" or like the eternally unmarried and obsessively over-scrutinizing 30-somethings on Seinfeld.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/01/2012 10:54PM by derrida.

That's how they get you to do EVERYTHING". By writing more into the behavior than is warranted and by getting the judgment of others to be a whip over your head:

The issue isn't earrings (or hem lengths or shirt colors). It's about being obedient to the prophet. How willing are you to be humble and teachable or are you hard-hearted and stubborn.

It's not a cup of coffee - it's about being willing to sacrifice to enter the Lord's temple. Is it worth losing your family for?

How willing you are to work hard on your mission isn't about your testimony or how you are feeling. It's about the character of the person you are. You'll never work harder or rise above the sort of person you were on your mission.

It's not about paying a full tithe whether your kids starve and your power is turned off. It's about what you are willing to give up to put God first. It's not a matter of common sense or responsibility - it's about stealing from God

Recently, the YW president in our ward, on YW clean the chapel day, said "Come and clean the chapel. We are so lucky to have a nice building to worship in. Come and show your gratitude for having our building." So it doesn't matter that there is no financial accountability from the leadership because we are still stuck back on "Show up or you are an ungrateful wench."

"By writing more into the behavior than is warranted and by getting the judgment of others to be a whip over your head."

I like that way of seeing it. They up the ante on every detail they prescribe for your life, and if you aren't up to following what they say, then you must be no good, a sinner, a person of low character, someone headed for drug addiction and loneliness, a hater of God, etc., etc.

It's manipulative and it's mind control. That they are able to combine their innocent little rules with social pressure is just part of the diabolically ingenious level of control they are able to exert. Bob McCue often talks about the legitimate human need to be in line with the peer group. Kind of awful the way the LDS Church uses basic human needs--need for peer interaction, need for family, need for human bonding--and turn them into weapons ("whips") to control individuals.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/01/2012 11:10PM by derrida.

Amen to that. They need to brainwash the people as much as possible in order to have as much control as possible. Himility means blind obediance.

That girl dodged a bullet!

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/02/2012 11:50AM by WiserWomanNow.

Meaning: The young man was quick to judge, and the moral of this story, kiddos, is judging is good.

PATHETIC! This dude is the poster boy for what is wrong with Mormonism. Sad, sad, and even more sad that someone like this has any influence over a group of people.

And why should the prophet even comment on trivial things like earrings? It is petty, stupid, Pharisee like and has nothing to do with religion or morality. It is a fashion choice that is no way revealing or immodest. Not that their concern with modesty isn't stupid too.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/02/2012 02:59AM by bona dea.

yah because this potential eternal companion might also have tits and vagina pierced and that might hurt his penis during sex, so try to avoid girls with 2 holes in the ears. LOL thats the message bedar conveys. if she don't obey the profit, she won't obey me as the husband, OMG!!!!!

He wants a dog.

That's exactly the message here.

IOW the most important character trait for a wife is OBEDIENCE! <gag>

there are dozens that end up in terminally toxic / flawed marriages to mentally ill, homosexuals, otherwise unsuitable partners, due in large part to LDS pressure/ BS promotional mentality on marriage. and now LDS Inc wants to tout this as an example where their teachings managed to prevent a bad marriage.
( ASSHOLES!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqRZgKuHLTE

That really sounds alot like something Warren Jeffs would have said.

Given his relatively young age , he will almost certainly outlive all the more senior apostles and end up at the head of the table. If you think the church is a cult now, just wait.

It's all about control, which I refuse to give TSCC one iota of that.

I was not quick enough to observe that unconditional obedience in anyone over the age of five is idiotic, childish, and dangerous.

A few years from now some critic of the Church will point out that GBH said "only one earring per ear" and some Mopologist will shake his head and say "aw, come on, he was just speaking as a man."

When was the last time you hear one of the gutless-wonders that comprise the big fifteen actually say that something they said was from God? They expect absolute compliance but they also want to keep plausible deniability for when fashions change (just like they did with polygamy, feminism, racism etc.).

There's two things I like about the Church -- it's face.

I, vivo, being born of more liberal stock than said Bednar, was "quick to observe" how lame Bednar's comments were, and quickly distanced myself from his smooth pickley spiel, Yea, and even also the frothy, foamy rantings of one brown-nosed J. Holland, who is crawling his way over, under and around his other coharts into Tommy's great and spacious and well-padded thronechair of glory.

Should be fun to watch the Primary kids doing the goose-step in the cultural hall, while the Deacons wear sharp looking brown shirts as they interrogate the families on their Home Inspectio...oops, I mean teaching...list.

Here are his qualifications for the job, courtesy of wiki:

Bednar:
then attended Brigham Young University, where he received a Bachelor of Arts degree in communication in 1976 and a Master of Arts degree in organizational communication in 1977.

He then received a Doctorate in organizational behavior from Purdue University in 1980.

From 1980 to 1984, Bednar was the assistant professor of management in the College of Business Administration at the University of Arkansas in Fayetteville, Arkansas. He became assistant professor of management at Texas Tech University from 1984 to 1986. He then moved back to the University of Arkansas as the Associate Dean for Graduate Studies in the College of Business Administration from 1987 to 1992 and was then the director of the Management Decision-Making Lab from 1992 to 1997. In 1994, he was recognized as the outstanding teacher at the University of Arkansas and received the Burlington Northern Foundation Award for Excellence in Teaching. He has twice been the recipient of the Outstanding Teacher Award in the College of Business Administration.

The real sad thing about this story--if true (we can never be too sure about that)--is that the young man chose to end the relationship over such a stupid thing.

WRONG!

It's about OBEDIENCE!

you see, young women who Truly Love the Lord (tm) Follow the Prophet!

earrings, tattoos, white shirts, flip-flops, etc. are Only Indicators!

Every time I come across this subject, I feel like getting a "Prince Albert".

I wouldn't notice the earings. I'd be looking at how she wore 501's.

IF Elder Plastic Face's story is true, I hope the young lady in question found a man who loves her for who she is, not for having 4 earrings.

Davey Bednar is just more evidence that TSCC is made up B.S.