We haven't had a masturbation thread for at least a day and a half so here you go.

A mormon guide to self abuse ... http://www.utahgothic.com/rants/mo%20masturbation.html

Saddest quote of the entire thing:

If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness.

Then none of us would have friends.

I like the "grasping a Book of Mormon with the offending hand". This now gives us the ability to meet the "stranger". Plus our FAPPING muscles will now be equal.

what if you are ambidexterous?

that is what the bible is for, unless you own a quad.

If you want to be Asexual Markee Peters son has a excellent pocket guide on how to achieve that.

I personally have never met a man who would be the least bit interested in his version of self abuse.

Here is a previous RfM post. (Unfortunately, I did not keep the link.) I have added capitals below for Petersen's most shocking statement! --The post:

"Remember the apostle Mark E. Petersen? Well, so do I. Here is what happened:

"I was 18 yrs old and just completed my first year at BYU. It was time for me to be ordained an Elder. I was home for the summer (BYU semester ended late April). I was in the Seattle East Stake (Bellevue, Kirkland, Redmond, Issaquah)

"In our stake, there was some kind of stir, some talk going around. I was young and naive, but learned it had to do with whether oral sex was OK among married couples. Apparently the question was raised in prior weeks/months, and bishops and the Stake Pres were attempting to give counsel. The Regional rep of the 12 got wind of this, and guess what? They immediately scheduled Mark E. Petersen to address our Stake at the next Stake conference!

"It was Sunday, May 25th, 1975. They quietly scheduled a meeting for all ADULTS, to be held 3 hours prior to regular Stake conference. I showed up early, and it was amazing, the parking lot was totally full at 6:30am, with cars parked clear down the street. The chapel was packed to overflowing.

"During this 'meeting', actually a dictator-style lecture by Elder Petersen, it was said very sternly that oral sex is an abomination, and had no place in marital relations. wow, you could have heard a pin drop. Petersen wielded a mighty, authoritative presence. And he was a bit cranky. He seemed displeased that this was even an issue!

"He also spoke during our regular conference meeting. A long, boring tirade. He somewhat carried this "purity in marriage" theme over. I CLEARLY REMEMBER HIM SAYING "YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN MARRIED TO MY WIFE FOR 44 YEARS, AND NEVER ONCE HAVE SEEN HER BODY UNCOVERED". Again there was silence. What a joke; implicit in his remarks was the idea that sex is ONLY for procreation, and the visual enjoyment of bodies is dirty, not beautiful.

"Putting this in context, can you imagine the power & influence of a bigshot apostle coming from SLC, enjoying the unquestioned favor of 2500 people? And all this in the name of God? Can you say, "brainwashed, cult"? He put that sexual issue to bed, for years to come!

"By the way, I had requested in advance through my Stake President that apostle Petersen personally ordain me an Elder, while he was in town that Sunday. At the last minute, I was handed a note 'request denied, Elder Petersen much too busy'...... I remember being hurt and disappointed."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/15/2011 01:00PM by WiserWomanNow.

Wouldn't it have been great if on his last day on earth, someone showed him a picture of a women, naked as God created her. He'd look at her and think "That's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." Imagine the anguish.

Adam saw Eve before and after eating the apple.

If one is damned for masturbation, and it makes no difference from fornication with a member of the opposite sex...why not copulate. And, remember, one should not waste so one should not use a condom... If you have to confess anyway, go all the way.

It's strange that THEY say that simply the act of masturbation creates guilt. It must have NOTHING to do with them instilling the guilt. "You WILL feel guilty." Funny, in my case I was riddled with guilt even after waking from a wet dream, and never even a twinge of guilt since I really started thinking about how ludicrous that was.

It's selfish??!!!! What about eating chocolate? How does that help anyone but the person eating? It's secretive? I'll tell anyone who asks that I do it. We talked openly in the Marine Corps about it, trading "tips." Contests were sometimes involved on speed of the act etc. We didn't have any secrets about it.

TBMs are just sick about it!

Try having a wet dream while in the MTC, and then going to the bathroom in the middle of the night in order to deal with it, and then having your DL come in and self righteously inquire about what you were doing in the bathroom in the middle of the night. I lied to him, and told him I was feeling sick.

"its selfish"

The way to overcome selfishness is to share.

LOL @mia! I've seen that POS before, it is SO f'ed up!! One of the great things about the internet is that this kind of thing gets brought to light......it's good to see the cockroaches scatter ;)

Not just your mind.

That is what this is about.

This is one of the things that I have NEVER understood. No matter HOW you look at it, how can it be wrong? Selfish? Uh yah!!! It's "pleasing yourself!" duh people! Secretive? Well, considering the act is done while usually 'alone' then okay.
Not associate with others who masturbate? If we have others with the same sexual 'weakness' we wouldn't be masturbating, it'd be sex! ;-)
People are so flippin dumb in this world! I felt guilty for a little while as a teen doing it but then my logical thinking kicked in and realized there was nothing wrong with it and in fact considered it a blessing from God that I could safely 'take care of myself' without having to sleep around!

Masturbation is considered an addiction if you do it even once a month. But having sex once a day is not. The only difference is adding a person. And also sex is an addiction if you're doing outside of marriage.

I'm "addicted" to coffee because I like it for breakfast.

I like this tract because they tell you how to masturbate by telling you not to do this and don't do that. Then they tell you to confess. Are they stupid? You can't rely on wet dreams to bring relief. Sometimes they are failures too. If you go ahead and take care of the problem, it won't be a problem any more. The big fifteen are some really sick cookies and they've made a lot of people sick over the years. Most of the time a person just feels better after a slap happy session.

My favorite has always been the suggestion to tie yourself to the bed frame -- kinky as hell!!

I also love the suggestion to make a snack. Better to be obese than engage in an activity clinically shown to promote health.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2539292166802&set=t.100001891859023&type=1&theater

My ward fireside with Boyd K. Packard

Ha ha - and Mormons have the cheek to laugh at and criticize Scientologists, Amish and others for being weird and controlling.

Oh my holy heck! Never saw his wife naked? What a twisted individual. What a tortured man! What a waste of a life!

What a liar.

Just saying, what do you believe more that he never saw his wife naked, or that he is lying about having never done so.

Or, here's another possibility, if he does not have a desire to see his wife naked, what kind of person does he desire to see so?

We should start compiling such statements in order to compose a list of GA who we are pretty sure were secretly homosexuals. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

My exmo's DH's boss is a Bishop. He pulled this off the internet the other day and showed it to DH and a couple of TBM coworkers (they think DH is JackMo). They had a good laugh except for the super TBM guy who said "people really struggle with that sin." DH didn't reveal that this pamphlet and related counsel by a SP started his departure from the church. DH saw through the BS when that SP told him nobody had self-abuse problems except DH. DH really go peeved because he knew every other guy was doing the exact same thing at 19. Side note- Bishop/boss had never seen this pamphlet, so maybe this isn't given to boys anymore. That would be a good thing because it would spare another kid from the mental agony my husband went through before and during his mission.

I bought my wife a Mikimoto necklace and ear rings - you better believe she modeled them for me, just the pearls. P of GP - oh yea that is what I am talking about!

I suppose animals did not get the memo?