Date: May 02, 2015 04:04AM
Mormons usually have a viewing the night before a funeral, and I go to that. It can be more casual, and a woman might possibly wear dark pants and a blazer, or coat in winter, and get away with it. I have "church phobia" and can't get through a Mormon meeting, without feeling physically sick and mentally anxious. since no one chats in a Mormon meeting, no one notices if I'm actually there, or not, unless the deceased is a family member, and I need to sit with the family.
You aren't going to the funeral to make a statement, I hope. It's not about you. I wear something inconspicuous and conservative--a tan linen blazer and long navy print skirt in the summer, and a long wool skirt and sweater, wool coat, and boots in the winter (for standing in the snow at the graveside). Black isn't necessary.
The advantage of going to the viewing is that you don't have to sit through the Mormon indoctrination garbage, and feel unworthy because you won't be in the CK with a Forever Family, and bla-bla. People won't think you are coming back to church, when all you're doing is trying to honor the dead. Also, at the viewing, you can write your name in the guest book, so that the family knows you were there. You have a chance to actually talk to the family, and express your condolences, and maybe even tell them a story or two about your good memories. It's personal, and it's about the deceased, and not about TSCC. Sending a sympathy card is a good idea, too, and often I just send the card and not go to any of it.
Usually, Mormons have a viewing an hour and a half before the Mormon service, and sometime's I'll leave work and go to that, then skip the service and go back to work. I just wear my work clothes, but a skirt and not pants.
Sometimes, the funeral is far away from the gravesite. The last funeral was in Provo, and it was a heavy work day, so I didn't make the drive down there, but went to the gravesite ceremony in Salt Lake, and was able to give my brief condolences afterwards. No, it isn't a social reunion, or a networking opportunity, or a Mormon brainwashing session, but a funeral.