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Posted by: Ex-CultMember ( )
Date: December 15, 2011 12:33AM

So I'm going to a Mormon funeral service tomorrow. Do Mormons where black to funerals? I've only been to two Mormon funerals and I swear I remember that few people actually wear black. Will I stick out if I wear black?

What do Mormons typically wear at a Mormon funeral?

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Posted by: chipsnsalsa ( )
Date: December 15, 2011 12:46AM

Typically church dress -- shirt and tie for men, dress or skirt for women. Usually LDS do not wear a lot of black at funerals. You're not supposed to "really" be sad. They'll talk about the deceased and then probably give a message about the Mormon "plan of salvation" so do be prepared.

That being said if I were to be attending I would wear black not only as a sign of mourning, but as an act of rebellion. As a woman, I would also probably choose to wear pants.

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Posted by: motherwhoknows ( )
Date: December 15, 2011 01:19AM

When I was a Mormon, there were so many funerals, that I had two funeral outfits: summer and winter. I had to play the organ at a lot of them.

Black skirt--wool for winter, cotton for summer
Black tights in winter, panty hose in summer (hate, hate, hate those)
Flat, black frumpy organist shoes
Dark blouse in summer
Conservative blazer in winter

Temple garments
Chocolate in my purse, to get me through.
Kleenex, because, unlike most Mormons, funerals made me sad.

And the wives still thought I was flirting with their husbands.

Oh, if you are a Mormon funeral-monger, you dress to the hilt! My handsome doctor cousin's wife's funeral looked like a fashion show. At my TBM neighbor's wife's funeral, his old TBM divorced high school girlfriend came in a bright red dress. Hilarious!

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/15/2011 01:21AM by motherwhoknows.

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Posted by: Horsefeathers ( )
Date: December 15, 2011 02:37AM

Wear whatever you want.
I gave away my last suit 20 years ago & it was far from new then.
In the years since I've gone to several Mormon funerals & one Catholic. I wear slacks & a sweater vest, don't even bother with my dedicated funeral tie anymore.

I've seen black suits, blue suits, grey suits, and one 1880s frock coat outfit on guys. I've seen gals wear black and generally subdued colors. My daughter wore black slacks at my mother's funeral last month, at which she was a pallbearer & one of two speakers. I didn't see anybody look sideways at her.

There's no set dress code, do what you feel comfortable with.

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Posted by: forbiddencokedrinker ( )
Date: December 15, 2011 03:31AM

I am tempted to give you fun advice, but a funeral is not a fun occasion. It is a time to mourn. When a Mormon friend dies, it is all the more reason for me, since they normally missed out of so much of life, and will never get a chance to experience these things.

And the sad thing is, I am not talking about all the great and evil vices that our TBM friends imagine us engaging in, but the simple joys, like having a beer with your friends, or buying a lottery ticket, not because you think you are going to win, but because for the next few days you get to fantasize about what you would do with the money if you did. (And at a dollar a ticket, way cheaper then paying tithing so you can fantasize about the CK)

Wear black, and bring hankies for crying. Later if asked, tell them you are glad they can find comfort in their spiritual beliefs, and that you know how important those are since you own mean so much to you.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: December 15, 2011 06:23AM

Women need to wear a dress or skirt and blouse. Men need a suit or jacket and slacks.

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Posted by: dogzilla ( )
Date: December 15, 2011 12:16PM

No. I don't "need" to do anything.

If there's a foot of snow on the ground when my TBM dad dies, I will be wearing pants. I may be dressed head-to-toe in black, but I may not. I might add a little splash of color in there somewhere. If it's the dead of summer, I might wear a black strappy sundress. Or an above-the-knee skirt and a dark top.

I do not care what the mormon standards are for dress at mormon funerals. I am not a mormon. I will wear something appropriate for ANY funeral and if they wish to throw me out, they are welcome to try.

I also wear black to weddings because I think it looks sleek and elegant. Nobody has ever said boo to me about this.

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Posted by: deconverted2010 ( )
Date: December 15, 2011 08:47AM

In general mormons do not wear black because "it is not a sad ocassion" and those who mourn at funerals "don't know what we know". I am a convert and I admit that it bothered me that people would show up in bright colours. Later I realized that BIC and converts who were ultra TBM were the ones wearing those colours and using the ocassion to catch up with people they had not seen in years. The talks of course were about converting and bringing back those who were not active members. Converts would usually wear black/dark and show a more quiet mourning attitute.

To me black or a dark colour is a sign of respect for the deceased and the family.

I've attended other faiths' funerals and it is very different than a mormon funeral.


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