When I was young, I was molested by a relative. So when I heard garbage about Santa like "he sees you when you're sleeping..." and was told stories about a guy sneaking into my house late at night, I was completely beyond freaked out. I would have nightmares and wake up screaming. I absolutely hated Christmas.

To this day, I am still sickened when I see parents FORCE their crying kids to sit on a costumed stranger's lap so they can take a picture. We tell our kids to not talk to strangers, not take candy from strangers, and then we chew them out when they won't take the stranger's proffered candy cane? And when the poor kid wails, "I don't want to!" the parents wrestles them onto the guy's lap anyway, ignoring the child's tears and vocalizations of discomfort.

Ugh.

And the TSCC is similar in many ways-- there's a big SkyDaddy watching you, and he's gonna make you a big burning lump of coal in hell if you're naughty! (And hey, God has flying angels instead of reindeer...)

And the children are forced to go into closed offices with grown men to be 'interviewed' about how naughty they are... even if the poor kids don't want to, they are generally forced to do so. Ewwwww!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/11/2011 12:23PM by AngelCowgirl.

Hadn't thought of it that way before. Now I'm creeped out too!

as a kid we knew about santa... but it wasn't forced on us.. I do have one childhood picture of me screaming my head off... after that year my mom never made us do it if we didn't want to.


It is beyond creepy..... even my kids (9,6, and 4) think it is weird lol

the same way i loved heavenly father.
i genuinely cried when i found out santa was fake :( but im glad i had that experience because i realized how similar believing in santa was to faith in god.
You make up excuses for stuff that doesnt make sense and the rest happens by 'magic'
finding out about santa helped me let go of 'God'
but wow, I'm never going to lie to my kids with crap like that

I told my dog all about santa. Threatened her with no treats or toys if she wasn't good. She drug her bed away from the christmas tree and put it under the table. growls at the tree several times a day. True story.

I on the other hand had Christmasholic cats. One year I wore my cat around my neck while I decorated the tree. One cat loved sleeping in the box filled with tissue paper after we had unwrapped the ornaments. The problem was he was often ready to jump in the box before we had unwrapped the ornaments. They both loved sleeping under the tree and never climbed it or attacked the ornaments. They were excellent cats, Sheba and Karmann.

Ziller recalls a December Sunday afternoon after church many years ago.

The Bishop’s young daughter was a bit of a handful and the Bishop’s wife was attempting to reign in her daughter’s behavior by saying, “You better be good. Santa is watching.”

The little sweetheart shouted, “You lied to me about the Tooth Fairy. You lied to me about the Easter Bunny. You are probably lying to me about Santa Claus too!”

Wisdom out of the mouths of babes indeed.

ziller

I'd bet real money that daughter is out of the church now...:)

Yes. I didn't understand how you can teach your kid to believe in Santa and baby Jesus at the same time, so we went with Baby Jesus.

MY kids knew as soon as they could talk, they had a choice when it came to physical contact. My son was wrestling with his uncle (father of two girls) and my son started screaming No! The uncle continued, so my son kicked him in the stomach! The uncle was mad, but we reminded him our son said no.

I can remember once, when I was about 4, standing in line to talk to "Santa." I heard him ask each kid "Have you been good this year?" Nervously, I turned to my mother and whispered "Have I been good this year?"

She replied, with a snicker, "Only when you're asleep."

Not long before that, an elderly family member had passed away, and my father had driven to the city where her funeral was held. I had never seen a dead person and asked my father what this relative had looked like now that she was dead. He told me, "She just looked like she was asleep."

So in my confused little mind, I equated death with sleep, came to the rapid conclusion that my mother would be happier if I were dead, because only then would I be "good."

I burst into tears, pulled loose from my mother's hand, broke out of the Santa line, and ran, sobbing, back to our car. I was too little and too inarticulate to explain why I didn't want anything to do with Santa. All the way back home, my mother berated me for being both bad and ungrateful.

But she never tried to make me talk to Santa again.

It took me a long time to work through the implications of being "good," "asleep," and "dead."

Oh, catnip, that broke my heart for the little you! :(
Your logic makes perfect sense... my kids make connections like that all the time that we adults don't generally understand. Holy crap, no wonder our society is so screwed up.

I quoted it in my own thread on the same topic, and have included in that other thread the positive reaction expressed in regard to what you said in your post (linked here: http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,2056609)

Thanks!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/20/2017 06:33AM by steve benson.

I was delighted to see my words shared in your posts!

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/23/2017 05:32AM by steve benson.

Cowgirl-

I like your position on this.

You may be interested in joining these people.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qyjc4tIJK4Q

Me as well but ziller has been on here longer then i realized.

The whole being monitored thing really gets to me, but you are right about the parrallels. I actually learned that christmas is actually a pagan holiday today, that blew my mind. I too found it weird when i saw kids at the mall sit on a strangers lap. It's very weird to watch at my age. The thought that came to my head was just replace santa with resurrected jesus and it still would be bizarre. But this is how mormons think, being asked sexual questions by a stranger is just a normal day in the park to them.

. . . that you originally put up in 2011.

This thread of yours (and its accompanying supportive comments) are as insightful, honest and relevant now as others were back in 2011 (with additional relevant and positive ones being added, even as we speak).

For proper credit, I am presently quoting and linking some of those responses from in this thread into my own related thread (linked here: http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,2056609)

Thanks!



Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 12/20/2017 06:30AM by steve benson.

They sit with the child and reassure them. They offer to step in and help buck up their courage. They are supportive, kind, and try to help the child deal with fear. They don't force the kid to face fear if they're not ready and they understand that every child is different. Not all of them must see reality if they're not ready to do so.

Santa? Good parents don't foist him on unwilling kids nor do they withhold the experience if a child loves being part of the tradition.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/20/2017 09:28AM by Cheryl.

I am truly sorry to hear how for those of you whose santa experience was so mixed up with abuse and misunderstanding that it traumatised you. That is tragic.

I must admit I never felt like I lied to my children about it all. I sincerely hope I didn't truamatise them at all.

I told the story of St Nicholas to my children and how he was kind to children especially when they were cold or hungry. I told them we remembered that kindness in Santa Claus and his story. I never hesitated to answer any questions they had honestly, but let them enjoy the legends and customs as they chose.

I also told them the Christmas story and how Christmas gifts were copying the wise men bringing gifts to little Jesus when he was born.

I may well be splitting straws here, but I felt that I sort of kept up the whole Christmas fun, without any lying. When the older ones had grown up a bit I asked them not to spoil the fun at Christmas for the younger ones, and simply to tell them the truth (St Nicholas etc) without brutally telling them that Mum and Dad got the gifts. The younger ones got to that fact as time passed.

It's the same as talking about fairy dust in the sunset or imagining elves dancing in a waterfall. If kids enjoy Santa, a good parent will follow their mindset all the way through until the child is ready to give up the story. Children with imaginary friends are usually more emotionally healthy as they reach adulthood than the ones who were forced to see the world through adult eyes as little tykes.

One of the main reasons I was able to see through mormonism at an early age is because I worked through the Santa myth and figured out that tales don't always equate to reality.

The most enjoyable part of dealing with children as they grow is to enjoy their imaginations. They love rain the first time they experience it, and breezes, flowers, and tales. Kiddies can learn through fantasy what would be impossible to learn through real experience. Imagining Santa teaches them something about kindness, giving, and selflessness before they're actually ready to practice these qualities. It also give them a sense of acceptance in families, like mine was, which didn't like or want me.

Good parents follow their children's mindsets in the kinds of gifts and experiences they provide. They don't force the child to pretend to like football if they only enjoy the arts. It's the same with Santa. Kiddies who crave the experience deserve consideration as do those who don't want to bother with it.

All kids are not alike and parents need to be flexible to meet their needs. They also need to respect other families, kiddies and parents and not harshly judge them if they have differing ways of dealing with Santa or any other parenting consideration.

. . . inviting children to use their imaginations, too.

Fluhist, you make some good points.