Date: December 03, 2011 12:09AM
This is probably going to sound a little rude. To any gay folks on the board I apologize for my ignorance, i'm just honestly not around many openly gay people myself.
I am just curious, is there a large number of closeted gay men in the Mormon community? I mean, a larger number than anyone else? I come across a LOT of Mormon men that make me just sure they are gay.
I remember the first couple of times I was in a Mormon sacrament meeting. I kept coming across men who I was just positive were gay. I had absolutely nothing to base that feeling on, I mean a lot of Mormon guys seem a little feminine to me but that's not always a good indication of sexual preference. It was something other than that though, their "loving" interactions with their (usually very pretty) wives just seemed....forced? It didn't look natural. I can't really put my finger on it.
Then I remember when I got divorced I had a friend ask me if my ex husband (uber TBM) was dating again. I told her that I thought he was seeing a girl from his ward and she seemed legitimately shocked. When I asked why she was surprised, it was because she thought he was gay and maybe we got divorced because of it. Of course that wasn't the reason why, but she was just SURE that my ex was gay. Then she said something to the effect of "well, with a lot of guys I can't tell if they are gay or just Mormon..." Which kind of made me laugh, but then I realized I wasn't the only one who had these weird feelings.
(By the way, i'm pretty sure my ex is NOT gay. I just thought it interesting that someone else did.)
So are there a lot of gay men in denial? Or do Mormon men just give off that "vibe"? I'm not sure if I believe in the whole gaydar thing, that just seems kind of silly. I know a couple of gay men that I honestly had no idea of their orientation until they told me. But those odd gut feelings I had....I just don't know.
Again I apologize if this is rude and upsets anybody, I just don't know of a tactful way to ask this question.: P