I just barely returned from my mission early. I came home because I realized I didn't believe in the church, and felt like I was wasting my time.

Anyways, I was only out for 3 months, which means I was in Hell (the MTC) only 2 months ago. The funniest moment I can remember is when we were having a meeting of some sort with every missionary there. The speaker had us all stand up, and repeat "I will obey. Amen." Over and over again until it was stuck in our heads. I found this scary to be honest. It was the point where I started questioning what was going on. After that many missionaries had started writing it everywhere... it was crazy.

I'm still on my way out, but I'll write more about my thoughts and what's happened if anybody's interested.

Wow that's the creepiest thing I've ever heard haha welcome to the board! Congrats on getting out...I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I say that we'd love to hear more of your stories!

Glad you found your way here.

I think the MTC and temple are extreme examples of mormon cult brainwashing. Thankfully, you have a chance to heal and recover.

I hope you have family and friends who are supportive? I also hope you'll find help here.

It takes alot of courage to leave a mission. Congratulations on having a brain that can critically think and a heart strong enough to act.

TBM Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anyways, I was only out for 3 months, which means
> I was in Hell (the MTC) only 2 months ago. The
> funniest moment I can remember is when we were
> having a meeting of some sort with every
> missionary there. The speaker had us all stand up,
> and repeat "I will obey. Amen." Over and over
> again until it was stuck in our heads. I found
> this scary to be honest. It was the point where I
> started questioning what was going on. After that
> many missionaries had started writing it
> everywhere... it was crazy.

@_@

TSCC is REALLY going insane if they're making mishies do that!!!!! Makes me so glad my DS has already decided to NOT serve a formal two-year mission with the church!!!!

I only "served" for 6 weeks - they kicked me out! But it was about the only thing I have ever had cause to be grateful to TSCC for. I didn't appreciate it at the time, but by not letting me complete the final stage of the brainwashing programme, my programming was incomplete and I was able to see the ripples in the matrix, or the man behind the curtain (choose your favourite 20th Century movie analogy) much easier than I otherwise would have done.

I guess they made the decision that it would be better to lose one "sheep" than have that "sheep" lead a dozen others astray...

Definitely a cult. I been out since Feb 2009, and I still deal with "issues" regarding the cult. Could it be flashbacks or some sort of PTSD going on? No one but us who have either been thru it or is going thru it now seems to understand all of us "apostates/ex mo's" Glad to see ya here.

I mean seriously, WHAT kind of "church" would let a so called "member" go without heat for over a year,add to the mix of me trying to just survive one of the chilliest Utah winters on record. I was living in a p.o.s. trailer that should have been torn down, and if the health dept knew about the NO heat situation, I'm told that they would have evicted me and posted a condemned sticker to the door. That would have solved everything...From no heat to the street. THAT is just one of the items that started to make me look at if this was Gods one true church! What a crock of s***! Yep, you guessed it...LDS! Kinda funny that ALL of their ward/culthouses all have the same slogan on the outside "Visitors Welcome". I have my own slogans now...Visitors Welcome-Brainwashing Served Free". What makes this ironic is that they didnt feel I was paying enough tithing, so I didnt have enough $ to pay the gas company. I think the Bishop from Hell was really trying to get me to conform to their standards, and we locked horns on many occassions. They can ALL go piss up a tree! That in itself is WHY I call myself Utah Mo NO More!

That experience sounds bizarre. I'm glad that you were able to leave it (along with your mission) behind you.

Welcome to the board. Congrats for getting out so early in your young life.

Wow, that's f'ing scary. I taught at the MTC for nearly four years while a student at BYU, and I never heard anything quite like that. On the other hand, I did witness the heavy-handed tactics employed by church security personnel assigned to keep track of the missionaries that got out of hand. That was also pretty scary. These guys took themselves very seriously, and no one really knew they were there until someone broke the rules and got caught in their net.

And I'll echo about leaving early taking a lot of courage.

"I will obey."

Yikes. I don't recall having to repeat anything of the sort at the MTC (it was thirteen years ago, though, so perhaps I just don't remember), and if I did, it certainly didn't have its intended effect. I wasn't a bad missionary, but I didn't adhere very closely to the rules of the white bible or my mission president. I'd say there weren't very many missionaries I knew that regarded the rules as anything more than suggestions.

It's amazing how obvious and repugnant the indoctrination is in Mormonism when you take a step back and view it from the outside. "Bow your head and say, 'Yes.'" I thought nothing of this phrase when I was a TBM, but now I find it horrific.

there will be a lot of effort to taint & stigmatize you, intentionally by the design of LDS INC to punish you for failing to complete a mission, and unintentionally as stupid ass members mindlessly follow in the wake of LDS inc efforts. Hopefully you will be able to work past that to see just how lucky and courageous you really are.

I was a Chicken Shit Idiot, who thought I was being brave by sticking it out, but I was really too scared to face my total asshole nazi MORmON male parent who wanted all of his sons to go on a missions, even though he passed up his chance to go. Yah that typical two faced back stabbing kind of BS so prevalent in MORmONISM. I believed to a certain extent. I thought there would be some reward for serving. I found out the hard way that the only Jesus dividend in MORmONISM comes from stealing from other members, something that LDs elite strictly reserve for themselves ( like when they con vulnerable teens into selling the BS LDS scam for 2 years), and something I did want to do any way.

Looking back, I can not explain to you how much I wish I would have walked out of the temple ceremony during the prayer circle when I was endowed for "my" mission and said
"Secret handshakes? I aint selling that BS for two years!" Instead I tried to make MORmONISM work for another 20 years based on ill founded trust that I placed in my sick twisted MORmON family members and the blood sucking parasites of LDS Inc. I paid very dearly for that mistake.

Rejoice in the fact that you have quit at such an early juncture!

It is gallows humor of sorts about the whole crushing fascist experience, but hey, having some laughs and knowing others totally understand is helpful.

It's The Passion of Raptor Jesus and it's on AMazon for cheap.

Welcome! And do share more stories from the Missionary Pit.

Anagrammy

I wish I had left during the MTC. I stuck out the whole two years and was miserable every day. I still have nightmares about being on a mission and it was 30 years ago!

Well played and yes we'd love to hear more from you.

P.S. I just bought Raptor Jesus' book and downloaded to my Kindle. Can't wait to read it.

Yikes! I'm reading George Orwell's 1984 right now--couldn't be more on point.

I read 1984 on my way out too. It will always be one of my favourites.

How is your family reacting to you coming home? Are they ashamed? Disappointed?

Agreed with all above. My blood ran cold when I read that! I too echo the part about having the courage to act - so many don't and I'm sure they regret that. WTG, and welcome to the board! :)

I am. Congratulations on getting out!

HOW did you find your way here ?

In other words, how did you find out about RfM ?

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2011 03:05PM by luckychucky.

Good to have you on board the sane train.

Were you pressurred to go on the mission adventure?

I can't wait to hear more from you, would love to see other posts. I'm glad you made it out, and welcome!

I'm proud of you for having the gumption to leave early, rather than just going through the motions for 2 years. You took a stand.

Just a little more background information.

I was definitely pressured into going, just like every other Mormon boy in Utah. It wasn't something I even thought about. All of my friends were doing it, and they had all already left, so I was going to as well. I had expressed concerns about not having a "testimony" before I left to my kind-of-girlfriend (wouldn't commit to anything because I was going to be gone for 2 years... you know the type). The MTC was surprisingly a great experience for me. I feel like I didn't waste too much time, and I made some great friends there. I also had time to think about everything in life, get my priorities straight, etc. After the "I will obey, Amen" blip many of the other missionaries thought it was extremely weird as well. I can only imagine a non-mormon seeing that. 3,000 19 year old guys in black suits shouting, "I WILL OBEY". Quite absurd if you ask me.

Anyways, I came home, and my parents were anything but understanding. Everybody there obviously tried to get me to stay, but I'll write more about that later. Now that I'm home, my parents are forcing me to attend church every Sunday if I want any sort of financial help from them. I basically began my "research" at mormonthink.com. Is that a good website? What are some others? Good reading, etc. I came across this website from the mormonthink website, which I'm very glad I did, it's exposed me to so many things I hadn't even heard of about the church. It was amazing that everything that I had come to a conclusion of while I was out there, with no text to support anything, just thoughts, was completely right, and that so many people have the same views as I do! I'm very grateful to have found this website!

mormonstories has some good podcasts.

MormonThink is great. The main page of this website has a wealth of information as well. I also like "Wives of Joseph Smith." Most of the information on that site is also on FamilySearch if you know where to look.

http://www.wivesofjosephsmith.org/

Richard Packham's site is often recommended:

http://home.teleport.com/~packham/index.htm

There are also tons of wonderful books. People here will have suggestions for you.

You will be much better off if you take the time and money that you would have spent on a mission and use it instead to further your education or training. You are lucky to have freed yourself at such a young age!

"obey" The most over used word in the mormon vocabulary.

Then you ask: who are they demanding I obey? That little question can cause all hell to break loose.

Wow that just screams CULT!! Nothing says "we're normal like crazy blatant brainwashing of young people. So happy it had the opposite effect on you! Congrats on seeing the light.. the rabbit hole goes deep and you are so lucky to be leaving now before they dig their claws deeper into you. Good luck with everything, I'm sure this is a hard time for you and I hope you find support here. PostMormon, red.dit, and other sites are also a wealth of info. I can't wait to read more from you!

By the time I was 18-19 I NEVER had a testimony, I was sure the church was bunk, and I was just biding my time.

The more pressure they exerted, the harder I laughed at them.
Nothing's worse to a tbm than being dismissed laughingly with total disrespect.

If somehow, I could have been convinced to go, (You will gain a testimony on your mission.), I never would've made it.

Not only early mission release, but likely an extended stay in a foreign prison.

I can only be pushed so far before becoming EXTREMELY violent.
At the time I was 6'1" 275lbs.

Surely someone in the group has smuggled in a phone/camera.

Mormonthink is a great place to start.

Try these:

http://www.lds-mormon.com/

http://www.utlm.org/

http://www.i4m.com/

http://www.mormonthink.com/

http://packham.n4m.org/
(scroll down to Mormonism)

http://20truths.info/mormon.html
http://www.realmormonhistory.com/
http://lds4u.com/
http://www.bookofabraham.com/
http://www.themormondelusion.com/index.html?_ret_=return

Looking forward to reading more of your posts! Welcome back to the real world now. Good to see you here.

During the Nuremberg trials, when the Nazis claimed they were obeying orders, the whole world woke up to the concept that we're responsible for our own actions and that obedience is both the most personally dangerous and most destructive way to live among our fellow human beings.

When I quit my mission after a year, I struggled for awhile with the idea that I was a quitter. I was afraid this meant I would never complete things I started. But I ended up graduating college at 25 and graduating law school at 28 despite the fear that I was a quitter. Don't let quitting the mission weigh you down though you will probably go through a dip as a result. Keep going. Obey yourself.

Can't ya hear it?

"I will obey."

Weird staring eyes... monotone voices...

Ewww........





::::::::::::hiding under the bed:::::::::::::::::